Hello! Is There Anybody Out There?

Hello!  How are you?  If you’ve found this blog then you’re probably not well.  Possibly are even dealing with a cheater of your own.  I’m sorry.  Pull up a chair and sit down.  Let me tell you my tale of woe.  Then you can tell me yours.  I’ve decided to write a blog.  Divorce and infidelity are such ugly topics and yet, they are currently permeating my life.  I try to use humor to diffuse the horror of what my darling husband is doing to all of us so I’ll try to keep it funny.  He’s done a lot of stupid stuff so many times this blog will write itself.  I’ll warn anyone reading right now that I like to say “Fuck!”  and “WHORE!” a lot so if profanity or name calling the other woman offends you stop reading right now.  It’s only going to get worse  Before I begin though you need to realize a harsh reality:  Blogs like these are typically used to be therapeutic.  Once “recovery” has been achieved then the writer usually doesn’t write as much.  Unless you have a wicked niche like Chump Lady (I’m a HUGE fan) they tend to fan out quickly, or at least within a year or two.  I always find that kind of sad, though, because I tend to become attached to my favorite bloggers.  They’re like friends and I care about how the story ends, and what they’re doing now that they’ve entered the next phase.  So, I will try to keep up with this even if I ever do get my life in order.  It might take a while because I’m not that far into this journey.

I don’t know what all I’ll talk about; infidelity gets boring after a while.  Bummer.  Maybe I’ll post some favorite recipes.  Who knows?  Shake it up a bit:  Oh, there’s her piece about how she found out her husband was screwing his cousin and all the money he- saaaaayyyyyy… is that a recipe for orange chicken?  Perhaps I’ll use this space to be philosophical.  I’ll post wonderful quotes that make you think.  Or laugh.  Maybe I’ll share my day to day dealings with my kids and my friends. My kids say some really funny stuff.  If I ever take another vacation I can blog about that!  Or review movies.  I really don’t know.  This could end up being anything.  Mainly, it’s going to be about my lying, cheating husband.  At least for right now.

“What is her story?” you may be asking yourself.  It’s pretty simple. The short version is:  Girl meets boy, girl marries boy, boy cheats on girl, girl files divorce papers.  The longer version is:  Girl meets boy, girl marries boy, girl follows boy all over the country for 20+ years and gives birth to his children, boy hooks up with cousin on Facebook, decides he’s in love with her and wants to marry her, boy and cousin spend a few months texting, sexting and sending naked pictures, girl finds out, loses her shit and demands he end it with the whore, boy ends it with whore cousin and declares his love for girl, proclaiming that whore cousin was the worst mistake of his life and he should have bought a motorcycle, girl is a fucking idiot who trusts boy and agrees to move across the damn country for boy’s job (putting her *much* closer to the whore cousin), uproots her kids, buys a new house, new furniture, new car, puts a pool in the backyard, boy decides to start up with his whore cousin again and fucks her almost one year to the day that their furniture was being delivered to their new house, girl finds out once again and marches her ass to a lawyer to divorce his lying cheating ass.

Yep, my husband is screwing his cousin.  Yep, I’m so stupid I didn’t run like the wind the first time they “hooked up”.  Yep, I’m so incredibly dumb I actually moved across the country, knowing that my husband and his mistress had talked about him moving us all closer so they could be together.  Maybe that’s vanity.  I thought I was so great that my husband wouldn’t choose to go back to her after all the rebuilding we had done.  No, I’m going to go with stupidity.  A word of advice to any of you reconciling whose husbands want to move:  DON’T DO IT!  It’s a bad idea.

For now I need to keep as much anonymity as possible so I won’t be throwing out any names.  I think the fact that my husband is screwing his cousin is enough of a giveaway.  I hope there aren’t too many people in that situation!

I prefer to use Cousinfucker as the nom de plume for my STBX, but that takes a lot of time to type.  I will probably switch between using his full name, “Cousinfucker”,  and CF, the shortened version of Cousinfucker (think of it as a nickname, if you will), or just plain ol’ STBX.  His whore/cousin will, of course, just be whore.  No capital letters or anything.  Sometimes I might use tramp or slut, maybe even skank, but generally I will use whore.  It fits her.  The definition of a whore is someone who fucks for money and she is definitely fucking for money.  Over $9000 spent on her and her kids so far (and that’s just the money I can verify).  I used to frequent a board where a certain poster kept getting banned.  One of her new incarnations was Secret Agent Mom aka SAM, so I think that’s what I’m going to go with for now.  I need to be stealth mom, and stealth blogger so Sam I am.

Welcome aboard.  I’ll try to keep it interesting.

5 thoughts on “Hello! Is There Anybody Out There?

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