I hate him! Usually I tell myself, “Sam, you don’t hate him. You have to actually care about someone in order to hate them. You are indifferent.” Well, tonight I hate him! He has made my daughter cry and he is stressing her out.
The child has always been driven; she’s a perfectionist and highly competitive. She is on her high school gymnastics team and right now she is feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders with that. She says that the four returning girls from last year are carrying everyone and no one else cares. She’s tired of other girls doing nothing except taking up space on the equipment. She is feeling pressure to win, win, win and to carry the team to victory! On top of that she is freaking out over exams, one class in particular. She tells me the teacher doesn’t teach and doesn’t give them any direction as far as what to study; she’s tried talking to this teacher and she gets no where. She really needs an A on this mid-term and she is stressing over how to achieve that since she has no idea what to study. She’s worried she’s going to get a B and that will bring her GPA down. “I know a 3.9 isn’t bad but I will disappoint myself if I get a B in this class,” she tells me. She then goes on to tell me how she doesn’t want me to have to pay for college and if she gets a B she’ll never get an academic scholarship (and since her dad moved us out here and dashed her gymnastics dreams ULTIMATELY FOR NO REASON there is no hope for a gymnastics scholarship anymore), and then she bursts into tears. My poor baby is fifteen years old. She shouldn’t be worrying about crap like this. The only reason she’s so stressed is because of HIM. She has said she thinks her gymnastics has suffered this year because she’s so anxious and worried about the divorce and what her dad is doing. After club gymnastics where she spent a minimum of twenty hours a week in the gym and we were spending thousands each year on it there is no reason on earth that she should be this stressed over high school gymnastics. The only reason she’s worried about how to pay for college is because her father is an asshole who has abandoned us in favor of a whore and her kids. Last year she didn’t have a care in the world.
Additionally, he is responsible for giving the kids their allowance. It’s the one damn thing he can continue to do. But he has not done so this month. Probably shot his wad dropping hundreds of dollars on kids that weren’t his; hey, I still see the charge card bill. She texted him and asked him about it a few days ago. He still has not responded. Probably too much of a chicken shit to admit he’s no longer going to be giving them an allowance. I’m sure he’ll blame it all on me and try to tell them I’m taking all of his money. The truth is he pays more for the cell phone bill for the whore and her daughter than he would spend on both of his kids’ allowance. He dropped more on a one time shopping trip for a dress for her daughter than what he would spend on allowances. Isn’t he a prince? When I asked her if she had texted him again she was indignant. “I shouldn’t have to text him again! He should reply to his kids.” I agree.
The man has spent twenty plus years whining about his own father and how he was never there for him, and he ends up being even worse. He has been known to say, “I don’t understand how anyone can turn his back on his kids.” Are you understanding it now? Because you sure as hell aren’t there for them.
So, tonight I am not indifferent. Tonight I am filled with rage and hatred. I’m sure it will pass but for tonight he’d better stay out of my way.