I want to say something about this inane idea that there are two sides to every story. Or, as the saying sometimes goes: There are three sides to every story- his, hers, and the truth.
You know what? I don’t believe that shit and I’m sick and tired of hearing it. He cheated on me. He’s fucking his cousin. He lives here in the house with his wife and kids during the work week and then he takes off and spends the weekends and holidays with his whore and her kids. There is no other side! Those are all facts. Period. He doesn’t even deny it! I don’t care if I was the worst wife in the world (I wasn’t). I don’t care if I beat him regularly, shit in his food, insulted his mother, made fun of his baldness, spent all of our money on shoes and handbags, told him he was horrible in bed, never had sex with him, berated him constantly, or ignored him completely. None of that gives him a license to cheat (and none of that happened, in case anyone had any doubts). If things are so damn bad then GET OUT! You can get a divorce without fucking someone else. I mean I get that in his family that’s pretty much a prerequisite but seriously, you don’t have to have an affair to end a marriage.
Will he have a different version as to why our marriage didn’t work (aka Why he was justified in cheating on me)? Oh, I’m sure he will. I’m equally sure that he’s the victim in his version. He’s just the long suffering fool and I was unbearable; he could never please me or make me happy. We were nothing more than roommates. We hadn’t had sex in ten years! He was a handyman and a wallet. I only stayed for the money. For the record, I’m not projecting this; I’ve actually seen texts and had conversations with people where they have told me he has said such things, and I have text messages where he has said these things to me. For my part when it comes to any problems in the marriage I like to keep it pretty fact based without seeing one of us as a victim and the other as the oppressor. There are many facts I could give but there is only one that really matters. Fact: I didn’t give up! I was determined to hang in there and make it work. Oh wait! There is a second fact. Fact 2: I didn’t cheat.
So, sure, when it comes to why our marriage broke apart and he was “driven” to cheat on me I’m sure a person would hear two very different versions. But when it comes to him cheating on me? There is only one side. There is not my side where he cheated on me with his cousin and then his side where he didn’t cheat on me. Frankly that is the only other side there could be.
Me: He cheated!
Him: No, I didn’t!
We’ve already established that he has cheated. He has never denied it. His whore is practically shouting it from the rooftops. She’s wearing a fucking diamond ring for crying out loud. Therefore, folks, we have one side- he cheated. He’s not disputing it; why are you?
Oh, but people don’t want to judge! Why not? Is it that difficult to say that’s some fucked up shit? Hey, how about the Catholic priests molesting all those young boys? Do you want to judge that or will you be reserving judgement because there are two sides to every story? Maybe we should also hold back on judging Jerry Sandusky and Adolph Hitler and Ted Bundy and Ariel Castro and ISIS and people who abuse and kill children and/or animals. I’ve got an idea! Let’s do away with our whole justice system because it totally entails judging people! There are two sides to every story. We have no idea what that victim did to make the perpetrator do such a thing!
Are you seriously saying that you can’t say someone cheating on their spouse is wrong? Do you need to get all the facts about the problems in the marriage before you can make a determination as to whether or not someone was ENTITLED to cheat on their spouse? Maybe that is what people really mean when they say there are two sides to the cheating story. They are saying that they are willing to reserve judgement until they find out WHY he cheated. If the reason is good enough then there are two sides to the story and we must look at both of them. If the reason is not good enough then, yes, he cheated.
That’s where we differ. I don’t need to hear the cheater’s justification. Cheating is wrong. Period. If you’re that unhappy either go to marital counseling and try to fix the problems, or get out of your shitty marriage. But what you shouldn’t do is stick around until some whore calls you up and tells you she’s still eager to get down on her knees and suck your dick and she’s never stopped loving you. You have now entered “You Are In the Wrong” territory. I’m so tired of hearing people justify their affair by saying, “I didn’t leave my wife ‘for’ Whore Tits; our marriage was already rocky.” No, no, no. If you didn’t leave until you had someone else lined up then you left FOR that person. No matter how awful your relationship may have been, no matter how awful the betrayed spouse may have been, you didn’t take any steps to end it until you had someone else waiting in the wings.
That’s where I am, people, and the next time someone tells me they want to reserve judgement because there are always two sides that’s what I’m going to tell them. No, there aren’t two sides. He cheated on me. The end. The only other side would be that I am a liar, that he didn’t cheat on me and he’s not leaving every weekend to go fuck his cousin. Those are your two sides. So which “story” do you believe? Is he cheating on me like I claim, or am I a delusional liar who is smearing his good name?