“Mom, do YOU think he’s crazy?”
I pause, giving great thought to this question my daughter has just asked. She has already freely said she believes her dad is legitimately crazy. She’s not a psychiatrist though so I’m not sure how much stock to put into her diagnosis. After weighing my words carefully I give her my answer.
“No, I don’t think he’s crazy. I think he’s living in a fantasy world. I don’t know for certain where he’s working but I do know his big dream was to work side by side with his best friend. He once told me he should have taken the job at Best Friend’s plant when Best Friend tried to get him to come work with him and that was one of his biggest regrets. If I had to bet I would place money on the fact that Best Friend managed to get him a job at his company and they are now working together. So he thinks he has his dream job and he thinks he has his dream woman.”
She turns up her nose at that comment. I can’t say that I blame her. But he does. I don’t tell her this part but he thinks that Harley and her performance are the real thing. She loves him for who he is and she would never be with him for the money. Oh no! That was the evil, awful Sam who stuck around for the money. Harley is going to be the perfect mate. She’ll text him every time she takes a shit and let him know all about it. She’ll tell him how handsome he is and coo over every little thing he does. Best of all, every weekend it’s nonstop sex!
Here’s the thing. I’m sure that for a period of time, maybe even a decent period of time, this will play out just fine. He will live far enough away from her that he can’t live with her, thereby giving him four days to decompress and do whatever he wants. Then for 3 days (2 1/2 if we want to be technical) he puts on his Dad of the Year/Companion of the Year mask and is all smiles and grand gestures. When things start to bother him it’s time to return back to his home where he can chill in front of the television, drink some wine, and not have to deal with anyone. He doesn’t have to help her get kids to activities. He doesn’t have to help with homework. He doesn’t have any of the daily grind you have when you actually live with someone day after day. But eventually the newness will wear off. It’s also quite possible that he will find out sooner, rather than later, that the love of his life is cheating on him. Ouch! Again, not things I say out loud to her.
I do go on to tell her that I think eventually his perfect fantasy life is going to implode. His best friend has switched companies quite a few times and I don’t see them staying at the same company, together, for another fifteen to twenty years. I also don’t see Cousinfucker taking it too well when and if Best Friend becomes his boss. I also don’t see Best Friend taking it too well if the situation was reversed. I think they have this vision of what life is going to be like, them working together, and I don’t think reality is going to play out anywhere close to this dream of theirs. They are two alpha males and I see them either clashing with one another, or them trying to take down their boss, which probably won’t go over well with him. Even if my theory that he’s working with Best Friend is incorrect and he’s actually working somewhere completely different the same rules apply. He will love it at first and then when he doesn’t get to dictate every single thing he’s going to begin pouting and decide he hates it. Only now he’s stuck.
What I say to her in summation is that once the newness of his relationship wears off and he realizes what kind of a person Harley is, and once he realizes that working with Best Friend isn’t the dream he believes it will be, I think he is going to look back at everything he has given up- his wife of over 20 years, his two kids, a job that he’s held for more than 15 years, and he’s going to realize how severely he has screwed himself.
At this point in my “journey” I’m not sure if I’d rather see that day arrive and smirk knowingly, gleeful at his misery, or if I would prefer to truly not give a damn and just be able to shake my head and say, “Sucks to be you.” Only time will tell, I suppose.