He Still Mad, Bro!

The drama continues!  Oh, it wasn’t nearly as bad today but he was righteously indignant that my lawyer “sent him a letter”.  I got a very nice thank you text from him, thanking me for exactly that.  I didn’t reply.  He didn’t ask a question.  There was nothing to corroborate.  So I ignored him and quickly looked through my email to see if I had missed something.

Sure enough I had!  I must not have checked email at all yesterday and it went into junk mail anyway.  Why?  I have no freakin’ clue!  This is the third person from her office to contact me and all three have gone into my junk folder.  Anyway, I may not hear from my lawyer all that often but I have to give her mad props.  She is like a tenacious bulldog.  She asked for documentation for his bonus check so that I know I’m getting half.  Score! She revisited the topic of me already paying money towards the pool and being credited for it.  As she put it:  I realize your client doesn’t agree.  I’m willing to table that discussion until the final settlement.  If he doesn’t agree to that let me know so I can go ahead and schedule a date to get in front of the judge.  I love her!  And then she also let his lawyer know that he’s not paying in a timely manner and asked if it would be possible for him to get direct deposit.  Ha!

I have a question though.  Didn’t he work himself up into a fine snit the other day because I dared to contact him and let him know the check was late?  And now he’s in a tizzy because I handed it over to a lawyer.  What does he want?  He’s pissed if I contact him; he’s pissed if I let my lawyer handle it.  As my mom so succinctly puts it, “He wants you to shut up and let him pay you whenever he wants.  It’s all about control.”  Bitch, I’m the captain now!  Only I’m not the bad kind.  I’m like Tom Hanks retaking his ship!

I got another strange text from him later on in the day.  He let me know that I have full coverage and all my benefits have been verified.  Then he told me I was welcome!  Funny, I don’t recall saying thank you.  I thought that’s what set him off the other day!  Then I realized that perhaps I had left off something when I thanked him.  I do not believe I remembered to thank him for continuing to cover me and the kids.  To be fair it was not court ordered.  But to be honest we’re still married and if he doesn’t cover me and something happens to me medically he’s screwed!  I was told if something like that did happen he would undoubtedly be ordered to cover my medical expenses; therefore, no lawyer is going to encourage or condone the main breadwinner to drop the spouse and kids from their insurance.  It does not look good in court.  So, consider this my mea culpa.  I’m so sorry I forgot to thank you for the insurance you have provided.  You weren’t court ordered to do so and yet you knew you had to.  Why, you just go above and beyond in everything you do!  You’re a peach!  Again, I ignored the text.

Here’s what makes this strange: I already knew I had insurance coverage.  I had even let him know I had received the cards.  The problem, my friends, is that I still haven’t received my share of the bonus check and that’s the part he blithely skipped over.  There was NOTHING in that email about insurance.  Is this some sort of weird magician slight of hand bullshit he’s hoping to pull off?  I’ll talk about insurance and throw her off the scent of the bonus check money!  Yeah, that’s not going to happen.

Also, to clarify, once again he’s lying.  My lawyer did not send him a letter like he claimed.  She sent an email to his lawyer, who I’m sure forwarded it onto him.  She might have contacted him herself!  He’s acting like I reigned down Hell upon him when it was a simple, professional email between two lawyers.  There were no threats of contempt charges, no promises to see him rot in jail.  Just a friendly heads up that CF is not doing as he agreed to do.

What are you going to do?  I’m destined to divorce a person who must constantly see himself as a victim.  He sees himself as a person who is performing these wonderful acts of service, who goes above and beyond what is required, when the reality is he isn’t doing anything that isn’t required of him by a court of law.  He thinks he’s doing me all sorts of favors; I think he’s loosely following a court order.

9 thoughts on “He Still Mad, Bro!

  1. Once the lawyers get involved, things get nasty. He is playing the role of the victim. F him. Let him play all he wants.


    1. That’s what I keep in mind. He’s a perpetual victim. Honestly, the way I look at it it was one lawyer contacting another to say, “Hey, your client isn’t doing what he agreed to!” The nastiness hasn’t even begun! And I don’t mean that in a “I’m going to bring on the hurt” way; it’s simply a fact. We haven’t even begun negotiating a final settlement and I am about 85-90% sure we’ll be going to court.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Several years ago I had to work with a person, and provide services, who was a total jackass. My supervisor would not deal with her. No one would except me. I dealt with her by keeping this in mind….. I’m going to have good days and I’m going to have bad days, but she is going to be a piece of shit every day for the rest of her life. If you can keep it in mind that he is his own worst enemy it might help. If he has been miserable all of his life then changing wives, changing jobs, and changing locations is not going to do one thing for him. I don’t know if you know this or not but people who were depressed and then won the lottery went right back to being depressed. The sooner you never have to speak to him again the happier you will be. I have no idea how old you are but many many women in their 40s and 50s are losing their husbands. Some of them think it’s the end of the world. They think they have no future. I had a grandmother that live to 98 and a grandfather that lived to 100. You are only halfway through your life. Let him go grab somebody else and drive them crazy. You will have peace.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. That definitely does help. I do know he’s a miserable person. I also know he’s a liar and a cheater and I am far better off without him. I’m doing my best to change my way of thinking and to do as someone suggested which is to look at this as my second chapter in life. I’m 47. Three of my grandparents lived fairly long lives. Two of them lived into their 80s, one was 92 or 93. I had a great-grandfather who lived to be 98 and a great grandmother who lived to be 103. I know I have many years left ahead of me and I’m going to do my best to make them great.


  3. when I was younger I used to wonder why people needed to get married? why do you need a piece of paper from the gov’t to confirm you’re together but now I understand because if you don’t and that mfer decides to abandon you after 20 years of sharing a life he could leave you high and dry and penniless homeless with kids and not give you a dime – now it all makes sense – which honestly if I’m ever in a serious relationship and decide to cohabitate again (not very damn likely) I won’t get married because it’s too much of a pain to get divorced but I will have a contract that spells out our financial plan should we stop cohabitating lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t see myself ever getting married again. I’ve had my kids. But I’m sure glad I had that piece of paper now, although I’m not sure I would have ever moved repeatedly for him if we hadn’t been married.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s