I was having a conversation with my mom and she tells me she and a friend want to go “see” Cousinfucker in his new hometown.
“I just want him to see me!” she tells me.
She then goes on to tell me how she and this friend, who lives several states away, are trying to schedule their calendars so they can do this. She remarks that it’s getting down to crunch time. She can’t do next weekend because she’s got a garage sale going on, and then the following weekend is her birthday and she doesn’t want to track him down on her birthday. After that is a graduation party, the weekend after that is another graduation party and not long after that she’ll be headed down south.
“I just don’t know when I’m going to have time. My schedule is very busy.”
“Mom, you realize you’re checking your schedule for a good weekend to stalk your STBX son-in-law?”
Apparently she does and she’s ok with that. She assured me she won’t let her friend bring her Mace, stun gun or new knife AND she won’t let her friend talk her into bringing her gun. Whew! Now I feel better.
She continues on, assuring me she has plenty of legal backup. She’s been watching a lot of Law & Order so she’s up to date on the stalking laws. Excellent! I’ve been told if you’re not threatening the person you’re good to go. Plus, it’s a big city. Is she supposed to stay away from that city completely????
“Besides, I do have friends there. Relatives, too. So if he says something I’ll just say I was in town visiting my friends.”
I ask her what she’s going to do if he starts going off on her or making up stupid statements about me.
She reiterated what she told me when I first informed her of his affair. “I’m old and I’m not afraid of going to jail.”
Here I am worried about my life being over at the tender age of 47 and my mother, who will be turning 70 in a few weeks, is out raising hell. Turns out 70 is the new 30.