I Know Nothing About the Draft

It struck me yesterday that there is definitely one thing I am thankful for due to this mess.  CF always turned the TV to Sports Center in the morning when he got ready.  If you’ve ever watched Sports Center you know that they replay the same hour long show over and over again.  Last year around this time I heard about the NFL draft nonstop.  Who would be drafted first?  Jameis Winston or that guy from Oregon?  The 2014 Heisman trophy winner, Jameis Winston, or the current winner, Marcus Mariota?  So many believed that Jameis would go first.  Others thought drafting him was just asking for headaches; it would be another Johnny Manziel situation. Guess what?  I didn’t care!  I could.not.wait. for the draft to finally be over last year.

As the kids and I were eating dinner out last night I saw something scroll across the bottom of the TV about this year’s draft.  I am happy to say I have absolutely no idea who anyone thinks might be the first round pick.  I have no idea who is even in the draft this year.  I don’t care!  And because Cousinfucker no longer sleeps in my bed or watches my TV I don’t have to find out.  I am blissfully ignorant.  I hope Harley is ready to talk football!  It’s no longer MY problem!

A Random Post About Nothing

Once again I have nothing so I’m going to talk about the randomness that is my life.

I actually had an okay weekend.  Saturday I volunteered for the homeless shelter in our area.  They put on a Food Truck festival to raise money and I was “slaving away” in the beer tent, serving beer to thirsty customers.  I got free admission to the festival and a nifty new t-shirt.  I wanted to try a bunch of the trucks but the first one I chose I ended up waiting around 45 minutes for my food!  I ended up getting a little too much sun I was hanging around waiting so long.  The food was decent.  It probably would have been better if I had been able to eat it immediately and it had all come out at once.  I had to take off and go pick up Rock Star from her job/activity.  She lucked into a coaching job once a week.  It doesn’t pay a whole lot but for a 15 year old kid it will do.

Sunday we opted out of church.  Rock Star went to breakfast with some friends so I took Picasso to see Deadpool.  It was way too violent for me.  I am the ultimate wuss when it comes to violence in films.  Unless it’s a shark movie.  I can watch sharks devouring people all day long.  I also thought there was too much sexual innuendo but I’m sure most of that was due to the fact that I was watching with a 13 year old.  Regardless, it was a pretty good movie and definitely funny.

This brings me to a funny little sidebar.  I posted about this on social media and I was very tempted to post:  I’m not really looking forward to this movie but my kid has been begging to see it since February.  I’m taking him because I put his needs and most of his wants before my own.  #youshouldtryitcousinfucker

After the movie I ended up going to see my cousin.  Unlike the STBX I don’t have sex with my cousins.  We met for drinks and some swanky appetizers and then we walked to her downtown and had dinner.  Again, I really wanted to add when I posted, “Finally meeting up with my cousin…. Unlike some people I don’t sleep with mine.”  Or maybe, “Finally meeting up with my cousin… Just drinks, no sex.”  #havedrinksnotsexwithyourcousin #cocktailsnotcocks

It was a fun evening and I hope to do it again soon.

Tomorrow Picasso and I are off on a class field trip together.  We will be releasing trout into a river.  It sounds like a good time.  I’m hoping I don’t get ditched for a girl on the way back once again.

I had a bit of excitement tonight on my way to pick up Rock Star.  I stepped into the garage and right beside my foot was a bird- a pigeon, in fact. I know this would have freaked my bff completely out.  I once had to come over to her house and get a bird out of it.  But birds don’t bother me.  I looked at her and said hello.  Pressed the button to open the garage and she freaked out- started flapping all around.  I just got into my car at that point but then when she finally disentangled herself from behind the folding chair she flew up onto the hood of my car.  Now this was a small pigeon so I wasn’t sure if she had fallen out of a nest.  I didn’t know if maybe she had a nest of her own somewhere in my garage.  Honestly, I don’t know how she got in there.  I backed out of the garage and even honked my horn but she was not going anywhere so I had to stop my car, open my door and slap my hood once or twice, telling her, “You’ve got to get off of my hood, bird!”  She did finally fly away.

On a slightly more somber note I was outside on my enclosed porch which isn’t all that enclosed.  The screen door is a mess.  Our dogs busted through it literally minutes after we first brought them into the house our very first night here.  CF promised to fix it last spring but then he got way too involved having an affair with his cousin so that whole project fell by the wayside. Now squirrels and birds end up getting trapped in there and start to freak out until I coax them back out the door. I don’t mind them so much but I do feel bad about the blue jay that committed suicide in his rush to get away from me,  Poor little fella. Bugs and bees are also free to roam my porch now and they’re not nearly as fun. Anyway, I had let the two big dogs out to go to the bathroom and I sat outside waiting for them.  While I’m sitting there I’m pretty sure a gnat flew up my nose.  I hope it doesn’t make its way into my brain and lay eggs or something, rendering me comatose.  If you don’t hear from me in a month or two that’s what happened.

I should probably head off to bed.  I have a very busy day releasing trout tomorrow.

She’s Your Wife, Not Your Girlfriend

For the purposes of this post the terms girlfriend and wife are pretty basic.  Girlfriend= someone you are dating, probably less than a year and with whom you are not living; wife= someone you marry or the person with whom you have a long term, live-in relationship.  I don’t want anybody to feel left out.

“My wife doesn’t pay attention to me anymore; she’s too focused on the kids.”

“When I’m with my mistress she pays me her full attention.”

“My lover is exciting and wonderful.  We don’t spend all of our time talking about mortgages and the kids.  We have hot sex and talk about where we’re going to go on vacation.”

We hear this a lot, don’t we?  How we’ve somehow let our significant other down in the day to day living that is our marriage.  We need to keep things exciting.  Just ask those professional mistresses.  They’ll tell you that the secret is to always shave your legs, never turn down sex, stop focusing on your kids, and make that sweet little narcissistic cheater the center of your world.

There is a man, a so-called reformed cheater, who runs a fairly popular website.  I’m not going to call him out by name because he doesn’t deserve it.  I read his site over a year ago and my blood pressure sky-rocketed I was so pissed about the drivel he was peddling.  One of the entries he made which really got my goat was one where he talked about how his wife had changed since the girlfriend days, and boo hoo, he still wanted her to be his girlfriend.  Apparently, if you just refuse to transition from girlfriend to wife he’ll never cheat!  Yes, that was his advice to “affair proof” your marriage.  As he put it:  What was once a cute, snug top with a pair of flattering hip-hugger jeans, with some cute little matching panty and bra set from VS’s now has turned into granny panties underneath sweats.  He goes on to talk about flirty text messages all the time (hey- that sounds familiar!), working out so that you remain fit and trim, and constant sex.  To be fair he does also talk about sharing hobbies, emotional intimacy, dates, and having fun together; however, you can tell when you read this crap that those things are far below wearing sexy panties, keeping fit, and having sex all the time.

Consider this my PSA to cheaters everywhere (not that they’ll read this, of course):  Hey, you idiots!  She’s your wife, not your girlfriend.  They are two separate and distinct roles.  And for any males who have been cheated on and might be reading here ya go:  He’s your husband, not your boyfriend!  Again, they are two separate and distinct roles.

Surely I am not the only person who gets this.  Dating is all about putting your best face forward, feeling others out to see if you’re compatible, having fun.  Dating is to marriage what going out to dinner with your best friend is to going to a company function with your boss.  It’s not so much a bait and switch, which is what these whining crybabies want people to believe.  It’s a matter of being comfortable with a person, letting your hair down and letting them see your faults.

If I ever date again I’m sure that in the beginning I’ll dress up; I’ll wear make-up.  I’ll chat about incredibly fascinating subjects.  I won’t belch or fart.  I’m not going to scratch any awkward itches.  I’m going to be on my best behavior.  I won’t be inviting him back to the house so he can watch me color my hair, put on a mud mask, or wax my mustache.  Additionally, we’ll be going out.  Every time we’re together it will be fun.  Because that’s the point of dating.

I liken it to my niece visiting me over the summer.  She would come out and we would be on the go constantly.  I am a kickass aunt.  We were at the amusement park on Monday, the water park on Tuesday, hiking on Wednesday, a museum on Thursday, movies on Friday, back to the amusement park on Saturday, skating rink on Sunday and repeat!  I had one summer where we were so jam packed my son actually begged me to let him just stay at home. It was fantastic.  I had a great time with her and my kids.  However, that’s not what every day life in my household looked like.  She was with us for a short period of time.  There was no homework.  No school.  I would cook her favorite foods and make sure I purchased her favorite snacks.  It was all fun.  Every.single.day.  Because, again, I am a kickass aunt and mom!  That’s the same for anyone who comes to visit.  You take them around, show them the sites, go to the best restaurants.  More than likely your day to day life does not involve hitting all the touristy sites and dining out every meal.  You’re not lying to these people.  You’re entertaining them, showing them a good time, hitting the highlights of where you live.

Eventually though the time will come where I will invite my gentleman caller to hang out with me and the kids. And the dogs.  It won’t always be wineries, movies, dining out, hikes, luxurious weekends away (fingers crossed!) and whatever other interesting things people do when they go out on dates.  Seriously, I wouldn’t know; I haven’t dated in over twenty years.  Eventually I will be wearing a comfortable pair of jeans and a t-shirt, maybe even a pair of sweats.  I will see him without putting on foundation, mascara, eye shadow, and bronzer (I do regularly wear lipstick and eye liner; I’m not a complete slob!).  If my gentleman caller is really lucky he might eventually find out that I hate doing laundry and I’m down to wearing my ratty underwear instead of my cute polar bear panties or the ones with Elsa from Frozen on them.  Yeah, I rock those bitches!  I also have ones with minions on them.

Here’s another wild difference.  When you’re dating you have time away from each other.  If his jokes are wearing on my nerves or I don’t want to watch another minute of SportsCenter or I have no desire to watch his favorite baseball team on TV, I can retreat to my own place.  If I want to drink margaritas with my friends instead of drinking beer and watching boxing with him and his friends, I can.  If I want to hang out in my sweats, no bra, no make-up, hair combed but not styled, stuffing chocolate chip cookie dough and Pringles in my mouth while I watch The Notebook and yell at the ending I can!  Hey, baby, wanna get together?  No, thanks; I’m busy!  Boom!  Snacks and a movie with an unsatisfying ending.  No husband bitching about how I’ve let myself go.  Bonus:  next time I see the gentleman caller he’s all, “Wow, Sam, you are rocking that dress!  Did you do something different with your hair?  You look amazing!”

Of course I do!  He hasn’t seen me in three days.  I’ve been watching bad romantic movies non-stop and stuffing non-nutritious snacks into my gullet.  This is the first decent meal I’ve eaten in days.  He has no idea the mess I’ve been.  The illusion is protected.

That’s dating, folks, although I know I don’t have to tell you that.  That’s the big difference between dating and marriage.  With marriage they never go away!  If you don’t feel like putting on make-up and looking your best some Sunday your boyfriend will never know.  Your husband, however, will.  If you’re dating and you haven’t shaved your legs in five days your boyfriend has no clue!  Especially if you shave those legs before your date!  With your husband you have to shave every day!  He knows when you’ve gone multiple days without shaving because he never goes home.  With dating every time you meet up it’s exciting; it’s an event.  You can even choose how often these events happen.  That’s not true in marriage.  You’re always on; he’s always there.  That’s not a bad thing.  It’s simply a big difference between dating and living together/being married.  Here’s another one:  At its most basic, as girlfriends we’re only responsible for ourselves.  As wives we’re responsible for everything and everyone.

OK, maybe that was just my marriage; however, I did do it all.  I did all of the cooking, cleaning,  and laundry; I even put away his clothes for him. I took care of the kids- fed them, bathed them (as infants and toddlers, of course), made sure they got their homework done, did 98% of all drop offs and pick ups, did the parent-teacher conferences. I did all of the shopping, both for groceries and household goods. I made all of the appointments- his, mine, the kids. I took care of the pets- made the vet appointments, fed them, cleaned out cat boxes, took them to their vet appointments.  I took care of him- picking up his prescriptions, making his appointments, dropping off and picking up his dry cleaning.  I managed all the holidays, bought all the gifts, and did the prep work for any vacations. I volunteered at the schools, taxied my kids and their friends around. When I was his girlfriend I did none of that. I could focus exclusively on him because I didn’t have any of those other responsibilities. If I chose to cook for him I was essentially showing off for him.  “See what a good cook I am?  If you choose me I could cook like this for you all of the time!”  Anything you do as a girlfriend is a favor, a gift- picking up a package, dropping off a letter, cooking, ironing, offering to do his laundry.  Once you get married it’s expected.

Really, how many of those people whining about the change in the relationship are doing their part?  My guess is that Mr. Reformed Cheater wasn’t coming home with roses every week, planning romantic getaways, or taking his wife out on dates.  No, he probably wanted all the “wife” perks while at the same time expecting her to step up her game and behave like his girlfriend.

If I had remained CF’s girlfriend how would that have worked after marriage anyway?  He wants me to behave the way I did before we got married? OK, I’ll primp all day, make sure my hair looks perfect, my makeup is flawless. I’ll spend plenty of time at the gym, trying to fit into my jeans I wore when we met. I’ll do a lot of shopping so I have plenty of matching bra and panty sets, and lots of cute outfits. I’ll text him all day (when I’m not shopping, working out, or making myself pretty) and fuck him and blow him every day. BUT he’s going to have to hire a few people. We’ll need a nanny because I can’t be expected to take care of a kid or kids all day, get them where they need to be, make lunches for them, or buy them the things they need like clothes, homework supplies, toys, etc. I need to focus on me and making myself sexy and desirable. And it would be very inconvenient if he came home and I had to deal with a toddler meltdown or a teenager needing a ride when he needs his after work blow job. We’ll need a cook because I’m going to be busy shopping for bras and panties so that he doesn’t fuck some whore. I’m not going to have time to go grocery shopping or cook. It’s all about him and all of those mundane tasks take time away from him. While we’re hiring help, I’ll need a maid. I won’t have time to do dishes or laundry or pick up the house because I’ll be at the gym working out, or shopping for something sexy, or just at home making myself all pretty for my man. He wouldn’t want me exhausted and overworked, would he? If I’m tired I can’t fuck him every night with the proper enthusiasm. I’m hoping the maid will also run all necessary errands and shop for the household and pet goods. If not, we’ll have to hire somebody. We’ll also need someone to come in and take care of our pets, and someone to tutor our kids when they need help with homework. We’ll be far too busy fucking to bother with them. Oh, we’ll also need someone to plan our holidays, buy gifts, arrange birthday parties. You know, the petty stuff in life. And we should probably hire a lawn guy and a handy man. He won’t have time to do any of that because he’ll be busy planning elaborate surprises for me- lavish dates, wonderful vacations for just the two of us, jewelry, cars. Oh, lots and lots of gifts. And plan on sending me flowers at least weekly. I hope we can afford all of this. It would be a shame if he had to work a second job to pay for all my bling. Kinda defeats the whole purpose of focusing solely on him.

Yes, if men want to whine about their wives no longer being their girlfriends and using that as a justification for cheating, two can play at that game. I can be his wife or I can be his girlfriend, but I’m not doing both.

I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.  I’m all for couple time.  I love the idea of date night.  I think it’s great when couples have support and can spend some time away, whether that’s a weekend getaway or an evening out.  Some people don’t have that, though; I certainly didn’t.  I also don’t advocate living in a pair of sweatpants, refusing to bath, and never taking a razor to an armpit.  I think make-up is a wonderful thing and as I’ve said above I usually wear eyeliner at a minimum and most days apply lipstick as well.  I’m NOT saying you don’t ever need to text each other, communicate, have fun together, try new things in the bedroom, share a few hobbies and/or interests.  What I am saying is that marriage is not all about that.  It’s about the every day stuff.  It’s not the big picture-worthy moments; it’s the every day moments- laughing with your kids, telling an inside joke, watching a favorite show together.

Hopefully, your relationship will have evolved from the days when you were dating, when you were putting your best foot forward and always on guard that you might do something to make this person bolt.  Hopefully this person beside you has seen you at your worst and still loves you, still wants to be around you.  Having a boyfriend is easy.  It’s fun.  It’s exciting.  It’s new.  While that’s fantastic for a little while I want the real thing.  I want the man I can cry in front of.  I want the man who understands my jokes and makes me laugh.  I want the man who is going to be by my side when I’m going through something tough.  I want the man I can lounge around the house with and not have him say, “Geez Louise, why aren’t you dressed up today?  Have you ever heard of make-up?”  I want the man who holds my hand and tells me we’re a team and we can get through anything together.  I want the man who will be around for the long haul.  I want the man with whom I have a history and I don’t have to explain everything to because he’s already been there with me.

I’ve heard it said that marriage is hard work.  I’ve also heard it said that marriage isn’t difficult at all when you’re with the right person.  Maybe the real difference is that people who believe marriage is hard work are still looking for the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.  The people who say marriage is easy when you’re with the right person realize that there is a difference between being a wife and being a girlfriend.  They realize it; they embrace it.  They celebrate it instead of whining about it.

Dumbass Mensa Members

“I have a genius level IQ.”  “I could qualify to be a member of Mensa.”  “I’m a genius, honey.”  Those were all phrases I heard over the years from Cousinfucker.  I also got to hear how he was class valedictorian, president of the National Honor Society, class president, captain of the football team, captain of the baseball team, and a star football player.  I heard numerous times how he was recruited by a professional baseball team straight out of high school and received a full scholarship at a prestigious university for pre-med but chose to take an appointment elsewhere.  He has all these crowning achievements and yet he is still an incredible dumbass.

I would think that with all of the cheating that he has witnessed he would have, at some point, said to himself, “Hey, that didn’t work out so well.”  But no!  He goes full steam ahead, chucking jobs and children and believing with all his tiny, tiny heart that everything will work out for the best with the whore.

I’ve described before his sister Jezebel who has cheated on every husband she has ever had.  I also wrote about Harley’s sister and her cheating husband.  Again, you would think he would look at those situations and perhaps internalize the fact that life did not exist happily ever after.  I sometimes want to ask him, “Hey, how did that work out for Jezebel’s second husband?”

I’ll tell you how it worked out.  In the beginning it looked wonderful.  They had a destination wedding elopement and a reception with friends and family when they came home.  They were blissfully in love.  She had never looked happier and they were very best friends. They had the engraved champagne flutes to prove it.  He was exactly the kind of man she needed, one who wouldn’t let her get away with everything, someone who would argue with her.  They took wonderful vacations every time you turned around; they bought a new house and new furniture to go into it.  They both had new cars they loved.  Life was great.  Lots of big, showy gifts and so much fun couple time.  Then reality began to set in.

He was a pastor of a large church when he met Jezebel.  She was the pretty and popular Praise & Worship leader whom everyone wanted to befriend.  His congregation paid his mortgage, his utilities, his car payment, his insurance, and his cell phone bill.  They paid him a salary and sent him and his wife on vacation.  They doted on him and spoiled him and he never wanted for anything because he had a devoted following.  I don’t think he entered into his affair with Jezebel believing they would turn on him, but I do know he told the in-laws that if he had to wash dishes to support her he would.  Ultimately, he gave up everything for Jezebel.  Turns out when you’re telling your congregation that watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch and celebrating Halloween is against God’s word and then you fuck your Praise & Worship leader they get a little testy.  He lost his church, tried to start another one but that one never really got off the ground.  Eventually that one folded as well.  He had to get a regular nine to five job instead of being able to play with Jezebel all day.  He couldn’t take off on vacation whenever he wanted because now he had a standard job with only a week or two of vacation time, and besides, they weren’t exactly rolling in the money.  He did eventually get a six figure paying sales job but that was towards the end of the marriage and it took him on the road every week and away from Jezebel.  You do not want to be away from Jezebel.  She will cheat on you.

Times were tough for the two very best friends who had found a very special love, one worth tossing aside two marriages.  Neither of them were used to working a regular job.  She had worked at the church on a part-time basis and then transitioned into doing home parties.  He began selling real estate and when that didn’t pan out (turns out you can’t be taking off on vacation constantly) he turned to selling cars and even work odd jobs here and there.

He had a large spousal support payment and because he wasn’t working steadily Jezebel ended up having to use her money to make that payment.  There were times her kids went without because she had to pay his debts in order for him to avoid going to jail.  If you thought she was pissed because she had to get a job instead of slipping into the life of the pastor’s wife like she thought she was going to do, you should have seen her head explode when she realized even though she was working she still had nothing to show for it because everything was going to his ex-wife!

His daughter moved in with them and was stealing from them.  She wrote numerous bad checks from their account, and if you’ve ever had this happen then you know the only way they won’t hold you liable is if you press charges, which they didn’t want to do.

Eventually, they lost their house.  One of the jobs he did was some sort of loan officer.  I don’t even know what it was exactly but I do know that because of this job they ended up with an interest only loan which freed up money for them so they could spend more.  When interest rates skyrocketed their mortgage payment more than doubled and they couldn’t make the new payment; they ended up losing the house and having to sell off most of their furniture.

At one point he was over $15,000 behind in support payments and his ex-wife was going to have him thrown into jail.  He called upon all sorts of friends and acquaintances to help him out and in the end he came up with that substantial amount of money and handed it all over to the ex.  God love her; she certainly did hold his feet to the fire.

As I said, he did end up getting a very nice paying job through the help of a friend.  It took him on the road and he wasn’t much in the mood to entertain in his twenty years younger wife every weekend.  She found someone else to entertain her and realized she didn’t need Husband #2 in her life anymore.

He’s doing ok.  He still has his job so he’s making good money.  He remarried about 2 months after the divorce so he’s not alone.  Life is not over for him by any means.  He did, however, give up everything for his little Jezebel and in the end, she tossed him away.  Now, someone else is her very best friend.  Someone else makes her happier than she’s ever been.

I wonder if Cousinfucker ever thinks he’ll be in Husband #2’s shoes.  If someday soon he won’t discover that Harley thought she was going to step into my life and she was oh so wrong.  Like Husband #2 Cousinfucker is going to have a very large support check to write each month.  And like Husband #2’s ex-wife I won’t have a single problem with throwing his ass in jail if he doesn’t pay.

I wonder if he thinks his kids will finally accept what he’s done, maybe even accept Harley and her kids as part of their family.  Or will he one day be devastated when he realizes he tossed them aside and they have moved on and no longer consider him to be their father?

I wonder if he ever thinks about the fact that his sister crowed about how happy she was with Husband #2 and how she would rather have twenty good years with him than fifty average years with her first husband, and yet in the end, she cheated on Husband #2 as well.  Does he ever connect the dots and see how people tell her she’s never looked happier every time she replaces a husband?  Does he ever acknowledge the fact that every husband becomes her very best friend?  Does he even understand that it’s all bullshit, an illusion until the next one comes along?

Does he ever wonder if he’ll regret quitting his job where he was considered a golden boy, supposedly beloved by the higher ups, for this new job with Blockhead where he’s just one of many?  Will he eventually find out how stupid he was for walking away from approximately $75,000 a year in compensation?  I’m going to be honest.  I really hope that comes back and bites him in the ass.

His life has been so simple these past few months.  He’s not worrying about whether or not the kids remain at their schools.  He’s not thinking about landscaping the backyard or what’s going to happen to the house.  I’m pretty sure he’s not even having to try to make ends meet because he’s living with Blockhead and doesn’t have the typical day to day responsibilities you have when you have a home of some sort.  My hope is that life gets a whole lot more complicated for him in the coming months.

The other real life example he has to look upon is even worse!  Those two cheaters ended up in jail!  Wait- not jail, prison!  As I said before I’m not all that convinced that he and Harley won’t end up in the exact same position.  She’s already got a spending problem.  He likes to tell everyone I spent all of his money and he had nothing to show for it but I’ve seen how he’s spent money since D-Day.  He blows it on the whore and he has had no responsibilities. He regularly spent up to $1000 per weekend.  He’s bought a ring, a dog, a $300 dress… The few bills he’s been required to pay he’s blown off for a month or more.  He hasn’t managed to get the support check to me on time a single time so far.  Between her spending money like it’s water, him spending money like it’s water and not being able to pay his bills, and her thinking the money is going to continue to flow I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he’s doing something illegal to keep her living in the lifestyle he’s promised her.  If we look to the past to predict the future then it seems pretty certain that once prison enters the equation their quaint little love story will be over.  Then it will be time for Harley to marry some felon she meets at her halfway house.  And Cousinfucker will be looking around at the tatters of his life- no job, no wife, no kids, no future.  That would really suck for him.

Then again, he is a genius.  He could be a member of Mensa.  So this will probably all work out for him just as planned.  I’m sure the only reason it didn’t work out for those other people was because they’re not as smart as him.

Who’s Crying Now?

As I was telling my mom about the crybaby’s meltdown the topic of why he’s crying came up.  I touched on this the other day when I recounted all the “blessings” in his life:  working with his best friend at his dream job, only 2 hours away from his mommy so he can attend every family event, brand new whore of a girlfriend, a net gain of 2 children that have no idea what a shitty human being he is.  He left because he wasn’t happy.  All of that crap was supposed to make him happy and yet, according to him, he cries every single day for hours.

We’ve already established that when his lips are moving he’s lying but let’s pretend for one moment that he wasn’t only fishing for sympathy and that he really is having a tough time.  My first question is, “Why?” but then before he can answer I want to scream at him, “Shut up!  You disordered fuckwit!  You moved me away from all my friends, my support network, my volunteer activities that could have helped take my mind off of all of this crap. You moved me away from people who could have helped me get a job.  You cheated on me with your cousin- AGAIN!  You lied to me.  You played me for a fool.  You deceived me and stole from me.  You could have left two years ago and we would have all been in a much better place but no!  You moved my children away from everything they loved and knew and then you dropped a grenade into their lives.  For what?  So you can feel sorry for yourself and cry every day to garner sympathy from the enabling idiots with whom you surround yourself?”

I swear the man child cries more than I have and I was the one who was cheated on!  In fact, this post isn’t so much about him and his whining as it is about me and my kickass behavior.  Seriously!

I found out he was cheating on me six days after our insanely expensive pool was finally filled with water and our kids could swim in it.  I found out he was cheating with *her* again 4 days shy of my 2 year D-Day anti-versary and only a little more than a year after I moved across the country so he could have yet another dream job.  I found out he was cheating on me and giving her money and they were both saying horrible things about me less than a year after beginning to pay the mortgage on a brand new house, buying brand new furniture to go in that house, and purchasing a brand new car.  I had just switched cell phone carriers months earlier, paid for a license plate renewal for three years, and brought new cats into the household.  Did I whine and cry like a little bitch?  No.  I called around and made appointments to go see attorneys.  I found out where I stood once we divorced.

I didn’t spend my holidays and weekends with a new lover and his shiny new kids.  I spent them with my children and my family.  My bed was empty (unless you count 2 oversized dogs- which I don’t).

I haven’t had someone holding my hand this whole entire time, telling me I’m so pretty and so sexy and my husband never deserved me and this new guy, well, he’ll never treat me the shitty way my husband did.  I’ve gone through this divorce all by myself, wondering if I’ll ever even date again, much less find someone I love.

My family is 10 hours away and I have to pay roughly $80 in tolls to go visit them.  He lives 2 hours away from his family now.

He works alongside his idiot best friend.  Mine are all hundreds of miles away.

In every instance he got what he wanted, yet he continues to cry and portray himself as a victim who suffers endlessly at my hands.  He is the one that needs to be consoled every day and I am the one making sure the bills get paid, the pets are fed and the kids are taken care of.  All by myself.

Don’t get me wrong; I have my days.  Then again, I’m the one that got fucked over.  I’m entitled to a couple of rough days.  However, you will not find a single friend or relative that has seen me cry, much less cry for hours every day, on their shoulders.  Not once!  I save that shit for when I’m alone and I put on a brave face for the rest of the world.

I’m not against crying.  Lord knows I’ve done it before and I’ve certainly had my moments.  I bawled every day once I found out he had quit his job until I finally got the support check.  If you read here regularly you’ve come across my post, A Letter to My Kids.  Definitely not a shining moment for me.  I’ve had several posts like that where it’s overwhelming and I want to crawl under the covers and wake up a few years later.  But I’m not making a spectacle of myself like CF.  Then again maybe crying over the phone isn’t as satisfying as sobbing hysterically in person and all my friends are hundreds of miles away so ugly crying over the phone would have to do.  I do have a few friends here in this new town but they aren’t super close friends and I would never feel comfortable crying in front of them.

I don’t want to cry in front of my kids and upset them, although I did cry when I finally told them that we were divorcing.  That was one time, though, in the very beginning.  We all cried together and vowed to stick together.

As for my mom I told her recently, “I think you’re more devastated by this divorce than I am!”  To which she replied, “I think I am!”  She wasn’t especially close to him but she is astounded that he has done the things he has done; the idea that he could walk out the door and move out of the state without saying a word to his kids boggles her mind.  I know it hurts her to see me hurt and to know what I’m going through so I keep a stiff upper lip around her, too.  There’s nothing she can do for me anyway.

It comes down to this- there’s no point in crying about it.  What’s done is done.  I’m going to put on my big girl panties and walk through it.  Crying is not going to help me on my journey. I try to keep a sense of humor about this whole insane chapter of my life.  It’s not necessarily funny but laughing sure as hell beats crying.  Captain Cry Baby can wallow in self pity and cry for hours if that’s what makes him happy.  He wanted all of this; he got it and now he cries.  I never wanted any of this yet I’m the strong one; I’m soldiering on with nary a tear on anyone’s shoulder.  Shouldn’t this be the other way around?

kids-let-me-couehp

You Can’t Blame the Other Woman & Other Bullshit Lies

I’m sure you’ve heard this before.  The other woman didn’t make vows to you.  She doesn’t owe you anything.  You need to put the focus where it belongs, squarely on your husband.

Does anyone else think a good old fashioned throat punching would make you feel better the next time someone utters one of those cliches?

This is my take on it.  An affair is a two person crime.  My husband may have made vows but if he didn’t find a whore to pat his bald little head, shoot sunshine up his ass, and spread her legs for him there would have been no affair.  You can’t have one without the other.  Do I blame him?  Oh, you bet your ass I do!  Do I think he’s some poor unsuspecting victim of her female charms and wiles?  Not in a million years.  I absolutely know he knew exactly what he was doing and that he acted with malice from the moment he took that call from her.  But make no mistake- Harley is not a random innocent in this breakup of my family.  She knew he was married, knew he had kids.  She even knew he had insisted he would never leave his kids behind and would never leave me.  I would go so far as to say she’s a deceitful, manipulative gold digging whore with a record who was patiently waiting for a chance to lay claim to her sugar daddy once again when I was no longer looking.  The bitch friended everyone in his family on Facebook, including his stepfather’s relatives and I believe I have mentioned how she never interacted with them until CF dumped her.  She’s a parasite.

I hate this idea that the OP is in the clear because they didn’t make any promises to you and they owe you nothing.  Is there anyone out there that grew up thinking it was perfectly fine to fuck another person’s spouse?  Anyone?  It is wrong, period.  You don’t have sex with someone else’s significant other.  If you do you are doing something wrong.  I look at it this way.  There are lots of people I don’t owe anything.  That doesn’t mean I get to be a douche to them.  I don’t get to say, “Gee, that Britney always seems to have a lot of money.  I’m not her friend; I don’t owe her anything.  Next time she goes to the bathroom and leaves her wallet in her desk I’m going to grab a twenty.  She won’t even notice.”  I don’t get to embezzle money from someone’s bank account just because they never use the money that is in it.  I don’t get to take home trinkets from their house because I don’t think they’re properly caring for them.  I don’t get to kidnap your kids or your pets because I don’t like the way you treat them, even when I owe you nothing.

Oh I know!  “But, Sam, those things are all illegal!  Adultery isn’t illegal!”  And yet, I’ve seen it pointed out by others that if our spouses were our business partners we could have them arrested for the crap they’ve done.  In that instance it is illegal.  As a business partner you’re not legally allowed to defraud the other person; you can’t take company money and spend it on whores and their children.   Furthermore, if someone else came along while you were in business and convinced your partner to embezzle money and slide it his/her way, or encouraged them to violate your business agreement and go into business with him/her you would have legal options to pursue.

I like this jail/crime analogy because I’ve long wondered about that type of thinking.  The other woman is blameless because she didn’t owe you anything.  You can only “punish” your spouse.  He was married to you so he’s the only one you should be concerned with.  Hmmmm….. here’s a question.  If that’s true, that you can’t hold the other woman responsible, then why is Charles Manson sitting in a jail cell?  He hasn’t killed a damn soul; he simply *suggested* that to others and they took him up on that suggestion.  If I mastermind a bank heist but get others to do the actual job am I not also legally culpable? Here’s another question I’m always tempted to ask when I hear that asinine logic.  If someone hires a hitman to take another person out, who should be punished then?  The person who hired the other person?  That person is probably the one who actually has a relationship with the victim and therefore owes them something (or at least owes it to that person to not kill him or her!).  Or should the person who actually did the deed be punished?  I mean, that is the person who actually did it.  Perhaps, and I know this is going to sound crazy but try to stay with me, they are both responsible and both of them should be punished.

Bear with me as I examine two real life cases of this.  The first one is someone I don’t know.  I’ve seen her story via her blog which was pointed out to me on Facebook a few years ago.  Her story was so sensational that Dateline and Dr. Phil have covered it as well.  I’m going to use names since it’s a very public situation.  In this story Ashlee’s husband, Emmett, cheated on her with his paralegal, Kandi.  To complicate matters Kandi’s husband, Rob, had cheated on her prior to her affair with her boss.  So, you have a cheating husband who gets pissed off when he finds out his wife is now cheating on him.  Meanwhile, Ashlee and Emmett had five young children.  The oldest were a set of twins who were five, I believe.  The youngest was 6 weeks old.  Ashlee found out Emmett was cheating on her when the police came to her door in the middle of the night to inform her her husband had been shot and killed by the jealous husband.

I’ve read her blog.  The heartache that she and her children experienced is… well, heartbreaking.  She writes of them crying out for their daddy, blaming themselves and promising to be good if only he’ll come back, not believing that he’s really dead.  I think that’s the part that gets me the most.  As much as it hurt her and made her doubt her worth, seeing her write about her small children and knowing the hell that those selfish people put them through is what turns my stomach.

Yes, Ashlee’s husband paid the ultimate price for his betrayal.  Rob is in prison. He will miss out on his daughters’ milestones, won’t get to watch them grow up, won’t get to be a dad to them.  Kandi quickly changed her story and sided with her husband, testified for him in court; at one point the judge even said he had never seen anyone so thoroughly discredit themselves in all his time on the bench.  I’ve seen her give interviews and talk about what happened and while she pays lip service to being sorry it’s mainly all about herself.  She’s not sorry she fucked another woman’s husband.  She’s not sorry for what those five kids are going through.  She’s sorry it didn’t work out like she thought it would.  She doesn’t like people looking at her as though she’s a whore.

Here’s the irony.  I’m sure many people would have questioned what Ashlee did wrong to make her husband turn to another woman.  I’m sure many people would say that Kandi is not to blame and that if Ashlee wants to blame anyone it should all fall on Emmett.  In other words, Kandi plays no part in the fact that Ashlee is a widow and that her five young children lost their father.  Leave that poor woman alone!  She’s mourning the loss of her young lover.  Or, depending on the day, she’s standing by her poor victimized husband who rots in jail for killing her hot-headed lover in self-defense.  Yet, Kandi is in prison.  You know why?  Oh, not because she fucked a married man.  And not because Emmett ended up dead.  That’s all personal crap.  No one cares about that.  No, she’s in prison because she embezzled money from the law firm she worked at before, the firm that fired her which led to Emmett snapping her up to work for him at his own office.

That is a perfect example.  She pays no penalty for being the catalyst that led to a man’s murder.  No one is supposed to judge her for sleeping with a married man and a father of five.  Ashlee isn’t supposed to want her pound of flesh because it’s all her husband’s fault and he was the only one making vows to her.  Kandi is blameless and she owes Ashlee nothing.  But let Kandi cheat on and steal from her employer and she lands in prison. Hmmm…. wouldn’t that validate the idea that these other women aren’t the poor helpless victims of love that everyone wants to claim they are?  That maybe they know exactly what they are doing and they don’t give a shit as long as they get what they want?  Ultimately, she’s a conniving, dishonest person who takes what doesn’t belong to her, whether it’s money or someone’s husband.  Unfortunately, only one of those situations will land her in prison.  The other situation results in lots of excuses for her behavior and how it’s not her fault.

Here is another example.  By golly, wouldn’t you know it’s yet another story straight out of the “Welcome to the Jungle” files?  Pay close attention because this gets confusing.  Tammy Faye is married to Pastor Fake and she and Harley are cousins.  Harley has sisters, which makes them also Tammy Faye’s cousins.  One of her sister’s was cheated on by her husband.  Her husband didn’t cheat on her with just anyone, though.  Oh no!  He cheated on her with Pastor Fake’s first wife.  So, basically Tammy Faye’s cousin’s husband had an affair with her husband’s ex-wife.  Writing this all down I don’t know why I’m so surprised Cousinfucker cheated on me with someone in his family.  That seems to be the M.O.  Yet I can’t help wondering how Harley could have watched her sister go through that and then think, “Yeah, I’m going to do to someone else what was done to my sister.”  Then again, I’m sure the sister is supporting Harley and Zack and their true love and unending happiness.

Of course many fucked up things ensued.  There was the fact that the two cheaters were conveniently re-writing history and telling everyone that he was the actual father of Pastor Fake’s youngest son.  Pastor Fake’s kids were all over their mom and her brand new husband because they had tons of cash and were spending it liberally.  Tammy Faye even wondered aloud where on earth they were coming up with all this cash.  Any guesses?  We’re talking about cheating and jail time so the answer should be obvious.

Yes, Pastor Fake’s ex-wife (let’s call her Bonnie, as in Bonnie & Clyde) was embezzling from her job.  Wow- I wonder how frequently those two things go together! Furthermore, I wonder if the day will come when I will get the call that Cousinfucker is in jail for embezzling!  Harley’s already been arrested multiple times so I figure it’s just a matter of time before she leads CF behind bars.

This is the interesting part and dovetails nicely with the whole:  He was the only one that made vows to you; you need to concentrate on him!  I don’t recall Clyde actually embezzling.  He knew what she was doing.  He was more than willing to help spend the money.  I don’t even know for certain if he helped to come up with the plan.  Nonetheless, they both went to prison.  I guess the courts really didn’t care that only Bonnie had a responsibility to her employer and that Clyde didn’t owe them anything.  Once again you have two people that ended up in prison for cheating and defrauding a business.  Nothing happened to them for cheating on Harley’s sister, unless you consider a divorce a consequence.  Despite the apologists cries to concentrate only on the person who made vows, the person who “owes” you, the justice system threw them both in jail.  She may have come up with the plan; she may have even been the only one to execute the plan.  But he was along for the ride and Lady Justice held him equally responsible.  Too bad more people don’t do that in real life.

How did this love story end, you ask?  Once they went to prison Bonnie divorced Clyde.  She remarried some guy she met at the halfway house she lived in once she got out.  I got to spend Thanksgiving dinner with her and the fellow ex-con one year.  I’ve lived a very colorful life thanks to Cousinfucker and his family.  Of course, that marriage didn’t last either and last I heard she was single, although occasionally hitting on Pastor Fake.

Living the Single Life

A lot has been going on in Sam’s household.  Mainly stuff breaking.  First, months ago the face came off of my drawer in the kitchen.  I still haven’t fixed it although it’s a simple solution.  My daughter’s closet doors aren’t hanging properly.  That was true even before her father went on strike and refused to do anything around the house.  Her bathroom door knob is also almost off the door.  Why is everything in this house falling apart????

Currently, out of my four toilets I have two that do not flush properly.  The handle on one of them is broken and the lever in Rock Star’s toilet is broken so when you push down on the handle nothing happens.  Looks like I get to figure out how to fix some toilets.  I’m going to be honest.  Home improvement is not where I get a sense of great satisfaction.  I also do not garden or like yard work.  Truth be told I’m not all that crazy about housework or laundry!

I have a shower that won’t drain properly which I’m hoping can be taken care of with some Liquid Plumber.

My backyard still needs to be landscaped and the limbs and trash removed from last summer’s pool building.  Thankfully I have a son who will cheerfully mow the front yard for me.  The fence needs a new latch because it no longer connects properly and the dogs are getting out all the time.

I still need to repair/replace the door on our screened in porch.  The dogs pushed their heads through it the very first night we got to the new house.  CF said he would repair it next spring and would probably just replace it because otherwise they would just keep pushing through the screen.  That never happened.  I waited around all summer thinking that this would finally be the weekend we would get stuff done and every weekend he was conveniently too frail or stressed to do much of anything except sleep.  And probably text the whore.

As if all of that is not enough my freezer went kaput on me last weekend.  I had to run out and buy a new deep freezer and salvage what I could from the one that was giving up on me.  I was fortunate to be able to store some of the things that had not thawed out over at a neighbor’s house.  The rest of it, though, I had to cook.  I had three crockpots going to cook up the chicken and the pork and I spent a good two hours browning hamburger last weekend- 22 freaking pounds of it!

As always I give props where props are due.  This was something CF could have helped with.  At one point he was handy.  He could fix those closet doors, screw that doorknob back on, repair my drawer and fix the toilets.  He would probably have gone out and bought a new deep freezer a day before I did.

Oh well.  I took care of it.  I salvaged almost all of the food.  I bought the new freezer, borrowed a truck, got it home and unloaded it and set it up- all without his help.  Bonus points for the fact that I didn’t have to listen to him freak out and declare that the electrical wiring was probably bad throughout the entire house and we would have to pay thousands of dollars to update it!  Now I’m off to google how to fix a toilet!

Lying Liars Who Lie

I was re-reading the blog and in the beginning I said he does so much stupid stuff that this blog would practically write itself.  It’s been slow lately but recently I have gained some amazing material.

I’m going to start with a texting conversation we had.  It was very brief.  He needed some documentation for the insurance; I provided it.  He thanked me.  I asked about cards for vision insurance and he told me the new company used the same insurance as the old company and he was pretty sure they didn’t issue cards but he would look it up online.  I replied that they didn’t issue cards with the old company to which he says:  …. I am doing my best to make sure all of you are taken care of whether you believe it or not.

Now, I probably should have not said anything after that but I’ve been so good for so long.  I told him I wasn’t sure what made him think that “That’s what the old company did,” was some sort of insult but I was actually agreeing with him and there wouldn’t be any insurance cards.

Hee hee hee.  This is the best response ever.  He says, and again I am quoting, “I was just expressing my effort to take care of everyone.  I didn’t take that as an insult.  I simply added that at the end.  Maybe I was searching for a little affirmation that I was doing the right thing.”

Can you believe that shit?  It’s right up there with, “Yes, you’ve caught me fucking my cousin and giving her our money; hey, are we still having spaghetti for dinner?”  I’ve got your affirmation right here, Cousinfucker!

I wanted to reply:  You’re fucking your cousin.  It’s a little too late to do the right thing.  Or, maybe instead I should have said:  Go ask Harley for affirmation.  Or even:  Yeah, I really appreciate you providing insurance for me and the kids like you’re still legally required to by law.  And while I’m at it let me tell you how much I appreciate the fact you moved me across the country only to dump me for your cousin.  I also appreciate you moving away from your kids after moving us here.  There are so many things I would like to thank you for I don’t even know where to begin!

But I didn’t.  I did not reply at all.  Maybe I should send this to him, though.

126zxe

That’s not the only comedy gold I share with you today.  I know he’s a lying liar who lies but it still stuns me on occasion when I hear some of the whoppers that come out of his mouth.

Remember how I wrote that he told people I threw all of his clothes in the trash?  He’s still peddling that lie but now he has upped the ante.  Apparently I tossed everything in black garbage bags and tossed them out into the trash.  This is news to me.  Not only did I roll his laundry cart into the guest room I HUNG UP his clothes in the closet instead of throwing them on the bed.  I think I may take a picture.  Everything that wasn’t hanging in the closet but was stored in the closet was placed in the corner of MY closet and is still sitting there today.  His clothes in his dressers (yes, two of them) are still sitting there.  In fact, he came into my room one day to grab something out of them so I know he knows they are there.  I did cop to tossing out one t-shirt which was approximately 20 years old with numerous paint stains and tears.  My bad!

Additionally, I threw out everything!  I didn’t want anything.  Another funny thing because all of those pictures were either placed on the headboard of the bed in which he slept for five months, placed in drawers in the coffee table, or were placed facing the wall on the floor, right out in plain sight.  I’m looking at them right now.  The backs of them anyway.  Is he really that devastated that I took down our wedding pictures?

As my mother pointed out this is probably why he left the house without taking anything.  It’s hard to continue to tell everyone your wife threw all of your clothes out when you show up with a carload of clothes.

Speaking of moving out, he is telling people I forced him to move out of the house.  I made him leave his home and leave his kids!  He couldn’t afford a place to rent and I also refused to give him any furniture.  In fact, I wouldn’t let him have anything from the house.  Strange, because there is an entire shelf filled with his mugs, cups, bowls, silverware.  I have a fantastic memory and I had begun putting anything that was his before we married and anything that I bought for him aside.  As far as the furniture went I would probably have been a bitch about it but he never asked.  Again, I think that plays nicely with him leaving the house with nothing but his briefcase.  “Sam is just a big ol’ meanie!  She kicked me out of MY home and took my kids away from me. She wouldn’t give me anything from our house to start all over and even worse, she won’t hang our wedding pictures over her bed!”

The reality is he was free to continue living here.  I never said he had to move out; I just said he had to begin paying rent.  He managed to stay here rent free for five months while I paid all the bills, including his car insurance.  I don’t think asking him to pitch in was asking all that much. Oh the horrors!  $750 for the month, utilities included.  That wasn’t even half of what I paid for the mortgage and utilities.  And not that it needs to be said but I never once told him he couldn’t store food in the refrigerator or use the stove or microwave for cooking.  He could use the washing machine and dryer if he wanted.  He never did.  He never even asked.  He confined himself in the guest bedroom all on his own, using the window sill and the great outdoors as his only form of refrigeration.  Yes, I found a bag of cheese sticks sitting on the window sill one day.  I was tempted to shove it off or try to get the squirrels to run off with it, but I left it.  Yes, he was free to stay and use all the amenities but it sounds so much better to tell everyone the evil STBX-wife forced you to move out- and move to a completely different state apparently!

I’m curious.  Does anyone really think I kicked him out and then Blockhead came to his rescue with a job offer?  He’s got it all backwards.  He was interviewing for jobs out of state; he finally got one.  He then moved.  Oh, but the beauty of that lie.  It sounds so good and he sounds like a perfect victim.

He’s still telling everyone he’s poor because he’s taking care of us.  I offered up the information that he had plenty of money the last five months he was here.  If he blew it all on the whore and her kids that is not my problem.  He also forgets to tell people that I am responsible for 100% of the bills, 100% of whatever the kids may need, 100% for the pets, and 100% for anything related to the household.  He does not hesitate, though, to ruefully tell everyone how he pays me 75% of his paycheck (another lie- it’s more like 66%).

Finally, he is spinning it that his kids won’t have anything to do with him despite his efforts.  When he lived here, his story is that they wouldn’t talk to him and would walk away from him every time he tried.  That is so so far away from reality.  Five months he walked right by our son’s room and never once poked his head in his room.  Five months he never once went downstairs to talk to our daughter.  Five months he never offered to take them, either of them, to breakfast, lunch, dinner, or even an ice cream cone.  He never showed up to watch our daughter cheer or to a single meet.  To be fair that was the weekend and that was Harley time.  Can’t blame him for choosing a whore over his kids, can you?  He never tried anything when he was still living here.  He could have told them he wanted to take them to school.  He could have picked Rock Star up from practice or taken her to practice. He could have taken Picasso to see a movie. He could have done many things with them or for them.  Hell, he could have bought them something they wanted and left it for them along with a note that he was thinking about them or he remembered how much they liked whatever it was he purchased.  If all else fails simply try buying them off with some extra cash!  Nah, why put yourself out there?  He doesn’t try much of anything now except to pile guilt on them and ask about wedding day responsibilities and whether or not a brand new licensed driver will drive 7 hours on the interstate at 70 mph to come see him.  But he has tried so hard and they’ve rejected him and it just doesn’t matter what he does because they’ll never forgive him and all is lost.

In the end I have no doubt he’s going to walk away completely from his kids.  Of course, I will be to blame because I forced him out of his home and away from his kids.  Plus, I’m sure it’s all my fault they will have nothing to do with him.  I have powers like that, you know.

Hey, I don’t mind the lies.  I sometimes even laugh when I hear about them.  The people that will believe him aren’t people I want in my life; I would go so far as to say I have kicked all of them to curb already.  He can continue to lie to himself.  He isn’t hurting me and the lies do him no good.  Maybe in his own mind but not in reality.  As the old saying goes:  You can run, but you can’t hide.  And that’s the TRUTH!

11nsxd

He Has the Sadz

I know it shouldn’t but hearing he’s miserable makes my heart sing.  Oh, I know it’s probably not true.  But between him telling my kid how he cries every.day.for.hours and another friend getting in contact with me to see if anything ominous had happened I’m a tad bit pleased that life isn’t the blissful field of unicorns and rainbows Cousinfucker envisioned when he decided to fuck his cousin instead of remaining married to me.

This friend wanted to know if anything had happened because CF had posted something about having a rough couple of days.  Who wants to join me in a chorus of, “Awwww, poor baby!”?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Buehler?  No?  OK, I tried.

Another person said her husband had seen a strange random post from him.  I don’t know if that was the same post that caused concern in the other friend or not.

Here’s my question.  Why is he having such a rough time if he got everything he wanted?  Why is he supposedly crying every day- for hours- if his whole life is coming together the way he planned?  He wanted to be closer to his family; we moved closer- a mere 6 hours away.  Then he turned around and moved even closer; now he’s only 2 hours away from his mother.  He wanted out of this marriage; he got out.  He wanted people to feel sorry for him; his family and one friend do feel sorry for him.  He wanted to fuck Harley; he fucked Harley.  He decided she was the love of his life, his soul mate, the reason he fought a war, I’m sure; now she’s all his (well, not really- she’s a whore and shares liberally).  He told me months before I found out about his affair that he should have taken the job with Blockhead when it was offered.  Now he was stuck *here* in a job he didn’t like after moving us across the country and uprooting our lives.  Problem solved!  Blockhead gets him a job at his new company and now they work side by side.  Their offices are right next to each other and they go out to lunch together every day.  They would probably braid each other’s hair if either of them had hair to braid.

So, why so glum?  Maybe he wrapped his mind around the thought of having to pay me $XXX per month and once he found out he was going to have to pay me more than that it was like having the bluebird of happiness come shit on his birthday cake.  Or perhaps he thought his kids would tell him that as long as he was happy then they were happy for him.  Maybe he envisioned them telling him he would always be their beloved daddy and nothing he did, not even moving out of the state without saying a word to them, would cause them to turn against him.

If he thought any of those things then he’s even dumber than I thought, and let’s face it, fucking your cousin is pretty stupid.  I *told* him after the discovery of the first affair that Rock Star would hate Harley and hate her kids; there would be no happy family.  I also told him what she had said to me one day, that if I ever cheated on him she wouldn’t have anything to do with me and if he ever cheated on me she wouldn’t have anything to do with him.  He admitted he told Harley that the kids liked me better than him and that they didn’t really have a whole lot to do with him (because of that whole uninvolved dad thing).  Why this would be a shock is beyond me.  I have a few guesses, of course.  Harley telling him that kids are resilient and they’ll get over it while she’s straddling him like the whore she is.  His sister pointing to her own shining example where her kids didn’t turn against her cheating ass.  His sister forgets though that her kids were young when she divorced their dad- the older one was only around 4 when all of this started happening.  CF’s kids were 13 and 15 when they found out their dad was a lying, cheating, worthless sack of shit.  From a lot of what I’ve been reading right around age 11 is when kids begin to develop a moral code and have a great sense of right and wrong.  I’m sure his mommy blows sunshine up his ass when he can peel his dick away from the whore and actually go see her.  Once again she undoubtedly spreads the message that it will all be ok; God has a plan and his kids will come around and they will all be one big happy family with Harley the Whore and her kids.  Don’t you worry, baby boy!  Let’s not forget Blockhead.  I’m sure he’s also telling CF that the kids will come around, or perhaps even told him that they wouldn’t hold it against him before it all came out into the open.

I think more than anything it’s the money.  He was fine the entire time he was living here rent-free and had almost $5000 per month to blow on his whore and her kids.  He was a little more melancholy when he had to pay more but he certainly wasn’t crying every day.  Maybe he’s not enjoying working so that the majority of his check can go to support me and his kids.  Maybe Harley is getting a little bit restless now that he doesn’t have as much disposable cash.  Oh well.   There is a reason they say it’s cheaper to keep her; that reason is because divorce is expensive.

I would think that all the pros would outweigh the cons.  He’s got Harley, he lives 2 hours away from his mommy and can attend every fucking family event that they hold, and he works side by side with Blockhead.  He still has a good job and makes great money; he just has to give most of it to me right now.  So that leaves the kids rejecting him and since he knew from the beginning that fucking his whore of a cousin would result in him losing his kids I’m confident in saying that was a price he was willing to pay.  I’m flummoxed! I would put some more thought into what may be distressing my poor sweet husband but I have a very busy schedule.  I need to wash my hair, catch up on my DVR viewing, take notes on some new ID shows, pet my dogs, rearrange my tupperware, play Candy Crush….

Oh, Fate, You Fickle Bitch

Thanks to those lovely Facebook reminders I discovered that four years ago today I signed Cousinfucker up on Facebook.  Wow- he made it a whole year before starting up an affair with his cousin!  Let’s give him a round of applause for holding off for so long.  One year until he began his EA with her.  Approximately 3 years until he began what would eventually be a physical (BARF!) affair with her.  Four years ago I signed him up on Facebook and today he’s in the middle of a divorce, living life with his true love and deserting his kids so he can work alongside his best friend.

Here’s another funny thing.  I tried to get the archives of his Facebook page two years ago.  I wanted to see how long they had been “friends” before their affair began.  Truthfully, if I was also able to find some messages between the two of them that would have been a bonus.  I eventually had to have it sent to his email account because I couldn’t change it.  When I told him what I had done and to print it off for me he freaked out and deactivated his account.  Then later he said he deactivated it because Facebook made him feel bad about his own life.  He said he felt like everyone was living a fantastic life and it made him realize how far away he was from family. Poor lamb.  Even back then with him pledging allegiance to me I felt like there was something more to it and that obviously he had something to hide but I could never get it out of him.

None of that is the funny thing.  This is:  Once I knew about the renewed affair one of the first things he did was reactivate his Facebook account.  And delete me as a friend, of course.  Now Harley is free to tag him in all of her insipid posts.  Zack!  Zack!  Look!  Look!  Aren’t we just an adorable couple?  Don’t look behind the curtain to see two cheating jackasses.

Oh, Fate, you fickle bitch; if only I had known back then what would happen…

121ojp