The Bone Analogy

January 2014

Did you know that when a bone breaks and then heals it is actually stronger than it was before at the area of the break? I was having a hard time not that long ago with the idea of an affair making my marriage better. Early this morning, though, I thought of the bone analogy. Things have been broken but in *healing* we, our marriage, became stronger. Now THAT is something I can live with.

Editor’s Note:  Can I just tell everyone how incredibly sad and painful I find that entry to be?

Just a Fun Little Recipe

This is probably not good for you at all.  Oh what am I talking about?  It has cottage cheese in it.  That’s nutritious, right?  And it has fruit.  That’s good for you.  Cool Whip.  Eh.  Not very nutritious but also not the worst thing ever.  Jell-O.  Again, not the best but not the worst.

Ok, so this is one of the very first things I ever learned to make.  Originally I made it without the mandarin oranges.  I grew up and added a second helping of fruit to this delicious waste of calories.  I give you…

Orange Fluff

Ingredients:

1 container of thawed Cool Whip

1 larger container of small curd cottage cheese

1 small package of orange Jell-O (you could use any flavor but seeing as how this is Orange Fluff we’re going to stick with orange)

1 small can of crushed pineapple, drained

1 can of mandarin oranges, drained

Directions:

  1.  Gently mix all ingredients together and chill before serving.  That’s it.

I’m not proud of this but I can eat the entire bowl of this in one sitting.

Those Damn Sausage Balls

January 2014

I realize this is a perverse pleasure, and perhaps it shouldn’t be. But…. not long ago she posted a recipe for sausage balls on her page with a plea to her husband to please, please, please make these. Oh yes, these were the sausage balls my father-in-law was willing to come to her house for. I made them yesterday and my husband loves them. He ate them all day yesterday, and he’s been snacking on them tonight. As I said, maybe I shouldn’t take pleasure in that, but for some reason I do.

Editor’s Note:  I thought I might have a little fun with this.  Here are my newly christened Cousinfucking Sausage Balls, or 3-Cheese Sausage Balls… So good they make you wanna fuck your cousin.  Enjoy (they really are tasty)!

Ingredients:

1 lb. roll of breakfast sausage, hot or mild

1 8 oz. package of cream cheese, softened

1 1/2 cup baking mix (like Bisquick)

2 cups shredded cheddar cheese

1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese

dash of garlic powder

1/4 tsp. Cajun seasoning (like Tony Cachere’s) optional

dash of Tabsasco sauce optional

Directions:

1.  Mix uncooked sausage and cream cheese; then mix in all of the other ingredients until well blended.

2.  Roll into 1” balls about the size of a small walnut.

3.  Place on a cookie sheet sprayed with nonstick spray or use nonstick Reynolds Wrap.

4.  Place in a preheated oven at 375 degrees for 20-25 minutes.  Don’t overcook!

5.  Remove and serve.  They taste best fresh out of the oven; however, as told above CF liked them even cold.  You choose.

P.S.  You can just call them 3-Cheese Sausage Balls if someone asks you for the recipe.

The Effect Affairs Have On In-Law Relationships

January 2014

Yesterday was New Year’s Eve. Duh! I was reviewing old, old posts and notes. One of them, from 2009 was 25 random facts about me. One of the facts was that I really loved my in-laws. I felt so sad reading that. Sad that they don’t understand why it might not be best to befriend the whore. Sad that their stupid affair cost me my relationship with all of my in-laws unless I want to accept her in my life forever. Perhaps it’s all on me and if I could just accept them having a relationship with her, separate from me, it would be ok. But I can’t accept that. I don’t find it to be right.

My mother-in-law sent me a blank text this morning. I asked her if she had meant to send me something. She said no but wanted to wish me a happy new year and tell me she loved me. I wished her a happy new year and told her I hoped this one would be better than the last one. At least I didn’t say I hope your son doesn’t fuck around on me again this year. She told me she missed our talks and I simply said me too. Again, at least I didn’t say talk to Harley; you don’t seem to think she’s done anything wrong and seem to have a rather high opinion of your son’s whore. She replied, “Let’s do something about it,” and I told her I’d think about it and that was the best I could do for now. I did later send her a picture of her grandson. I’m not a complete bitch.

A Bit Of This & A Bit Of That

I will be off to see my family this weekend so you’ll be seeing a lot of Blasts From the Past.  I’m heading out to watch my nephew graduate from high school and will be hanging out with one of my very best friends from high school, at least for a few hours.  Rumor has it that I have a niece who will be following me back to my house for a week.  Hooray!  I love company!  Now I just need to get our pool up and running.  It’s been so rainy and cool here these last 3 weeks I wasn’t sure pool weather would ever come around again.

In the meantime my mom has informed me that she doesn’t like the fact that STBX SIL & MIL have what she considers to be cool names while I’ve only referred to her as Elderly P.I.  I pointed out that Jezebel and Tammy Faye are not exactly complimentary names but she didn’t care; she wants something better.  I would also like to point out that it was my brother who christened her with that name.  I gave her the option of picking her own name but she doesn’t know what she wants.  I was thinking “My Mom” is fine all by itself seeing as how I don’t refer to her as anything but “Mom”; I also considered The Rock but didn’t know if that was too similar to Rock Star.  If you get a chance feel free to throw out a suggestion.

I hope you all have a wonderful, relaxing weekend.  This year I will spend it celebrating my nephew’s graduation but in general Memorial Day weekend is not a time of picnics and potlucks, lakes and pools, and beers and BBQs for us.  This is the fourth Memorial Day weekend that we will spend honoring a family member.  He was KIA in June of 2012.  He had been in Afghanistan for 3 days when he volunteered for a mission and was killed by an IED. He left behind a 23 year old widow whom he had married only 6 months earlier, his two younger siblings, his father, and his mother, who I know struggles even four years later coming to terms with what happened to her oldest child.  Her grief is palpable and this weekend is going to be extremely tough for her. I didn’t know him very well because we lived hundreds of miles apart, but his mom is one of my favorite cousins.  We now live in the same state and she is the one I have gotten together with a few times since moving here.  I ache for the loss of such a promising young man.  I ache for his mom and his siblings.  I hurt because my beautiful, vivacious cousin hurts.

It would be easy to become self-righteous.  THIS is what Memorial Day weekend is all about.  It’s not about a long weekend that kicks off summer.  It’s not about opening your pool or taking your boat out or drinking all three days.  It’s about honoring our fallen.  But you know what?  I’m glad people are out there celebrating.  I’m glad more people think of Memorial Day weekend as a kickoff to the summer than as a heart-wrenching, painful reminder of what has been lost.

I think CF enjoyed the mourning aspect of this holiday.  It fed into his narrative of the poor put upon victim, the emotionally traumatized soldier.  Here’s the thing- he was proud of the fact that he brought all his men back home alive.  He never mentioned losing classmates.  As far as I know he never lost anyone close to him and yet he used this as an excuse to mope about and pretend that this was such an important weekend to him.

We planted flags the last two years.  The first Memorial Day after I found out about Harley we went to a Memorial Service- me, him, the kids.  It was very nice.  And very sobering.  We took the kids to the cemetery and planted flags at soldier’s graves.  Last year we planned on going to the cemetery where so many of my family is buried.  The kids and I went alone because he was too busy dealing with his “PTSD” and texting his whore of a cousin.  Wow- he’s telling his cousin how much he’d like to fuck her and I’m planting a flag at my cousin’s grave.  I guess we have a radically different approach to how we view family.

I don’t celebrate Memorial Day weekend like I used to think of celebrating.  I’ll be honest; seeing as how I lived with Captain Grumpy Pants we never did a lot for the holiday anyway.  Now I don’t have the heart to celebrate and make lavish plans when I know how difficult it is for my cousin.  I will, however, celebrate my nephew’s graduation.  He has a lot of exciting possibilities ahead for him and that deserves celebration.  I will remember and honor the fallen.  And unfortunately, on Monday, the actual observed holiday, I will be driving all day long.  For the rest of you though, have fun!  Enjoy your time off if you have time off.  Drink a beer or a margarita or a Pepsi, for crying out loud!  And yes, do pause to remember that there are many people out there that aren’t celebrating; they’re being presented with flags and other awards because they’ve lost someone.  Then go out and celebrate some more.  Enjoy this weekend.  Live!  You are alive; don’t take that for granted.  There are far too many who lost their lives far too soon.

Cheating Husband Has Anxiety

December 2013

The husband is upset, anxious, mad, defeated? I’m not completely sure. I left to go get food last night. Told him I was going. Asked him what he wanted. Even made him a drink before I left. The first place I went to was packed and the line wasn’t moving. So I went to another one. Stood in line for 30 minutes. He was a basket case when I got home. I’d been gone over an hour. Add in that I left my phone at home because it wasn’t charged. He tried texting and heard my phone. Saw that I have the whore’s picture for his mom’s contact picture and freaked out even more. I think he’s pissed more than anything. I also have the whore’s picture as the contact picture for his sister, his step-dad, and his nephew who was going to tattoo the whore. Why? To remind myself that they are not my family. They do not support me. They do not support my marriage. They give lip service to the husband but at that heart of it they fully support her. And if that makes him sad so be it. Maybe he should have thought about that before he started making wedding plans before I even knew we were dating other people!

 

Another New Recipe

This is one of my very favorite soups; I love it!  I wish my kids liked it more. I always make it for potlucks and rarely get to take any back home with me so it must be good.

I found this in a Taste of Home magazine.  The original recipe had a pound of hamburger instead of the black beans so if vegetarian is not your thing- I fixed it for ya!

Taco Twist Soup

Ingredients:

1 medium onion, chopped

2 garlic cloves, minced

2 teaspoons olive oil

3 cups vegetable broth or reduced-sodium beef broth

1 can (15 ounces) black beans, rinsed and drained

1 can (14 1/2 ounces) diced tomatoes

1 can corn, drained

1 1/2 cups picante sauce (use whatever heat you’d prefer; I use mild because I’m a wuss)

1 cup uncooked spiral pasta

1 small green pepper, chopped

2 teaspoons chili powder

1 teaspoon ground cumin

Shredded cheddar cheese for topping

Sour cream for topping

Directions:

  1.  In a large saucepan, saute onion and garlic in oil until tender.
  2. Add the remaining ingredients except for the cheese and sour cream.  Bring to a boil, stirring frequently.  Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 10-12 minutes or until pasta is tender, stirring occasionally.
  3. Serve with cheese and sour cream.

Chef’s Notes:  I usually add the entire jar of picante sauce and sometimes add more broth.  The original recipe from the magazine didn’t call for a can of corn and I think that thickens up the soup somewhat.  Another great topping would be tortilla strips and jalapeños if you like spice.  Also, for those of you who don’t like to chop and mince the frozen bagged onions are a life-saver and I always buy the minced garlic in jars.  One teaspoon equals 1 clove of garlic.