Hanging In There

As the title indicates, I am hanging in there.  I contacted someone from my old hometown whose son goes to my daughter’s potential new school.  She assured me that it’s basically like two separate schools- one for the IB AND Honors students and one for the rest of the school.  So even if Rock Star doesn’t get into the IB program, which this person told me that kids transfer into and out of that program all the time, she’ll still get a top notch education.  Whew!

I’m still not happy about any of this and still trying to sit on the fence somewhat.  Rock Star isn’t home yet so I haven’t had to tell her that her life is going to crumble down once again.  I guess looking on the positive side (which is really really hard to do) I didn’t meet my two best friends until the end of my sophomore year and the beginning of my senior year.  I suppose she can still make friends.  She also told me she doesn’t even really like competitive cheer and would be fine with sideline cheer only.  There won’t be any kind of a replacement for gymnastics or losing out on being team captain but I can’t help that.  She can thank her father for that.

I hate to rush into a decision and have CF get his act together.  Then I’ve moved and disrupted my kids’ lives for nothing.  On the other hand I figure I’m kind of crazy to count on him and I really don’t see anyway that I can support myself and my two kids in this area.  It would be almost impossible even living in this house and waiting out a foreclosure; it would be impossible if I had to pay rent in addition to everything else.  Also, going down that route would mean I have to move right before Rock Star’s senior year.

I’m fighting this with everything I have, but I’m getting so tired.  This is the third time in ten months that I haven’t had a clue what was going on in my life.  Last August my life was turned upside down.  I had no answers for my kids at the time but I managed to keep everything together.  Then in February when he quit his job without saying a word and left the state I was crying every day until I got that next check, thinking I was going to have to pull my kids out of school mid-year.  Now I’m right back in that situation, only this time I’m being told he’s unemployed and will be unemployed for the foreseeable future.  So yeah, I’m tired.  But I’m hanging in there.

I guess in the end it does no good to worry.  Worrying won’t change anything and right now I don’t even know anything for certain.  Things might magically work themselves out and if not… well, they just won’t and there’s nothing I can do about it.

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6 thoughts on “Hanging In There

  1. So true you are doing great spaghetti <3.. Loving my kids it's the hardest most tasking thing I've ever done especially when I'm just trying to survive myself.. You are amazing and you are so right worrying does nothing..

    Like

  2. I would hate to think he would be so disgusting to be plotting all of this to screw with you and for his own gain. Then again with what his behaviour has shown in the past.
    I feel for you especially with rock start being at that age but life’s challenges will give you three strength and grace. Keep hanging in there. Xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

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