Puzzles, Tammy Faye, & a Whole Lot of Lies

Blast From the Past 25

March 2014

We were doing a puzzle the other night when his mom called. I was sitting across from him so I could hear parts of their conversation fairly well. Two points aroused my interest.

First, I heard her talking about our text conversation on my birthday and how she had asked if it would be ok if they came and visited after we moved. She told him that maybe once they came out she could talk to me and get “all of this resolved”. I don’t think she comprehends that everything is already resolved, and he is too chicken shit to tell her what the actual problem is. He wants to bury his head in the sand and just forget everything that happened. Gee, wouldn’t that be nice? If only I could just pretend none of this happened. Life would be grand.

You want to resolve everything and get things back to the way they were? That will never happen. They have been changed forever. And the fact that you continue to have a relationship with her will not be ignored by me. How do I forgive that? How do I pretend like it doesn’t matter? It does matter. You’re complimenting and laughing with my husband’s mistress.

I’ve debated telling him to tell her there’s nothing to resolve and I don’t want to talk about it. I’ve debated just leaving it as: Because of his affair I’ve realized that in the end you’re his family; not mine. If we end up divorced I will be the outsider, while you support him and welcome whomever he brings over with open arms. It won’t matter how wrong he was or how devastated the kids or I might be, or if the new woman is a home wrecking whore. You’ll still love her and welcome her. I recognize that and I need to protect myself against that. I’ve even debated telling the truth: Part of it is the fact that in the end you’re his family and you’ll support him no matter what. And no matter how much I may have loved you I’ll just be a distant memory while some other woman takes my place. The other part is you know he had an affair with Harley and yet you and everyone else continue to treat her like she’s some wonderful person. EVERYONE he sees on a regular basis while in his home state have their heads so far up her ass I’m surprised their eyes aren’t brown. Jezebel knew the entire time he was messing around with her and according to him, her only advice was to do what made him happy; he deserved to be happy. And then he told you about his affair with Harley and supposedly you weren’t very happy with him. But six weeks later you’re telling her she’s sooooooooooo pretty. You continue to like her status updates. You or Pastor Fake ask her to make you sausage balls and when she says you’ll have to come visit to get any you reply, “No problem.” When you told her she was soooooo pretty she joked about you being partial and that she had to change her profile picture so people wouldn’t think she had got herself a new man. She’s joking about having an affair with the mother of the man she had an affair with! And you don’t think that’s a little bizarre. You don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. You don’t find anything strange about seeing your son’s wife and your son’s mistress both liking something or commenting to someone. That doesn’t strike you as abnormal at all. In the end it all comes down to the fact that none of you can do what I needed you to do which was to support ME. Not her. Me. I needed to see some kind of a united front, some kind of support. And I never got any of that. I got a half hearted apology from Jezebel months later. And all of you sit around yakking it up with my husband’s whore and then wonder why I’m such an awful bitch that just can’t understand why you don’t want to terminate your relationship with her. I needed to feel that everyone supported me and instead I feel like everyone supports her. I needed all of you to discontinue any kind of relationship with her and none of you did. At this point telling you if you have a relationship with her you can’t have one with me is pointless. You’ve all already made your decision and you decided you wanted Harley in your lives. So, you’ve got her. Sorry I didn’t lay it out clearly enough for everyone earlier; it just was never something I thought needed to be said. I thought it was common sense. You find out your son/brother is having an affair. You know the person with whom he’s having the affair. He tells you he’s made a huge mistake and he wants to make his marriage work and he’s hoping and praying his wife doesn’t leave him. In fact, he’s a nervous wreck thinking she’s not coming home. You say, “I fully support you and your wife working on your marriage. I wish you the best. Let me know if I can help.” And then you remove that other person from your damn life. In an ideal world you even contact that person and let them know, “Hey, due to the fact that I know you and my son/brother have been having an affair, and due to the fact that I know he desperately wants to save his marriage I can’t have anything to do with you. It would cause pain and is extremely disrespectful to my daughter-in-law/sister-in-law, and if I want to have a relationship with her I can’t have one with you.” It’s just that simple.

Second, I heard his mom say, “I’m going to tell you something and you’re not going to like it.” I couldn’t hear what else she said. I know she was talking about where she would go if anything happened to Pastor Fake. Then at the end she said, “I won’t say anything else about it.”

My mind immediately went to Harley. All I could think of was that now they weren’t just FB friends; she was actually calling now. And she’s offering her a place to live. Wouldn’t that just be great?

When I asked him about it at first he said he didn’t remember. Then he claimed it was her sister-in-law she was talking to. I did ask him why she thought he wouldn’t like what she had to say but he brushed that off as her not following his directions to take care of herself and to not go out.

I’ve actually debated asking his mom what the real story is because I’m not completely sure I believe his story. He was still upset the next day and chalked it up to his mom’s illness.

It’s bringing back memories of him freaking out when I asked him to email me the FB archives I had sent for. Today his story is he deleted his FB page because it made him miss home too much, made him see how much everyone else had. I’m calling bullshit. I think he and Harley talked about things through FB messaging and he didn’t want to take a chance that I would find those conversations. I think there is a lot of stuff about their affair he doesn’t want me to know. And then I wonder, why doesn’t he want me to know? Isn’t the worst part already revealed, the fact he was cheating on me, the fact that he told her he loved her, the fact that they were planning a life together and he had told people he was going to marry her? It’s difficult to concentrate on the future when you’re haunted by the past.

Editor’s Note:  I now think that whole conversation had to do with how Harley was contacting Tammy Faye.  He was lying through his teeth.


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