Blast From the Past 32
April 2014
I think I’ve finally put my finger on it. Throughout this entire ordeal no one in his family has reached out to me. No one called or emailed or wrote or texted and said: I’m sorry he did this. I still love you, no matter what; you’ll always be family regardless of Zack’s decisions. I’m hoping the two of you can work through this. I’m rooting for you two. No, no one reached out to me but everyone reached out to Harley. They couldn’t fawn over her enough. They may as well have written: Don’t worry, Harley; we still love you no matter what. We don’t care you had an affair with Zack. We still think you’re fantastic. We’re hoping he comes to his senses and realizes how wonderful you are and how much he loves you, and that he finally decides to divorce his awful wife.
It’s like Zack is their first priority, Harley is their second, and I’m a very distant third, if I even rate that high.
Jezebel says she’s sorry I got hurt and she’s sorry for her part in all of this. It was only two and a half months later, and after I contacted her to let her know she should probably check on her beloved brother. This was right after I found out about the tattoo and his plans to marry Harley. She’s only sorry because she backed the wrong woman. I’m sure she thought he would leave me so supporting his affair with his skank ass whore was the safer bet. If he had gone through with his hair brained scheme she wouldn’t feel sorry for me at all, she wouldn’t feel bad about her part in this, and she sure as hell wouldn’t be worried about whether or not I was hurt. I wouldn’t be a blip on her radar. But, since he got cold feet she regrets it all. Couldn’t tell me that until I contacted her, but she’s terribly sorry nonetheless.
Every time he goes back home he’s surrounded by people who support him, and who support his whore as well. They all seem very concerned about her well being, but don’t give a shit about mine. And you know what? That’s fine, but don’t then turn around and act like you don’t have a fucking clue as to why we no longer have a relationship.
Are We Still Having Spaghetti For Dinner? 
I’m going to guess that those relationships are only based on appearances. Not on authenticity and love. My mil loved the whore mow because the mow worshipped my mil. I’ve never worshipped anyone, so I wasn’t in mil’s special “camp”. That was fine with me. Both my wh and the mow worked in the family business. And clueless mil couldn’t see that they were shitting where they ate and disrespecting her, risking the company and affecting other employees. All she could see was that mow was her fan, I wasn’t. She lectured about family unity and appearances while her son screwed her and his family over.
Yet through all this, I was the unappreciative one. Go figure. Mow is long gone, wh is working on reconciling. When he told his mother this (she had redone the guest room in hopes he’d move back in with her – he’s 50) she told him that now I was going to have all the control and he should rethink it. Wtf. She also never called me or the kids when all hell broke loose and I could have used the help – I asked her and got crickets. It’s been 2 yrs since we heard from her. So he had a 6 mo stupid fuck fling fest with a 2 bit whore and she still cut me out.
It’s taken me a while to see that not having them support me is a blessing. But it still hurts after 28 yrs of believing they cared. They’ll never see anything through my lens – they’re toxic assholes. They see my wh but haven’t seen me or my kids in over 2 yrs – and they’ve never asked. But she does play the pity party and tell everyone how much she misses them. She can text, write, call – but she really doesn’t want to, so she doesn’t then blames me. The only person who didn’t fuck over the family.
I understand that pit in your stomach and the confusion in your head and I’m sorry.
LikeLiked by 1 person
wow lemondrop that’s crazy!!! you are def better off without toxic people like that in your life but I can see how it would still hurt too
sam I swear you are so strong I’m not glad you’re family is broken up BUT I am glad you will have a chance to build a new one with people who will appreciate you and treat you right these people are just unbelievable and what ‘s even more unbelievable is we didn’t see it until it was too late – that’s what I often wonder how did we not realize that the “love” these people gave us (the cheaters and their supporters/family) was so fake? it makes me feel like I can’t trust anyone because my judgement is so flawed
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for your sweet and encouraging words. I can completely relate to what you’re saying about trusting again. It will be hard to do.
LikeLike
Well she is family… I ended up spending a lot of time thinking about this the first time around and it really does boil down to them being big fat fakes. Even now Tammy Faye fawns over my daughter on FB but doesn’t call or text. She also doesn’t seem to understand that she directly caused the destruction of her grandkids’ lives. I will truly be better off without them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lemondrop…you could absolutely have been writing my story with what you said here. At least with ONE of HUSBAND’s affairs…with a clerk in the family business. MIL (and all the rest of the family) knew about the 1 year affair – putting business at risk, etc. It is uncanny how our stories parallel. I hope you are doing okay. My marriage is moving forward in a strong and healthy way, but not so much the in law relationships… HUGS!
LikeLike
I feel the sorrow and hurt in your words. Maybe even rejection. This was something that still pulls at me two years later. How none of my former friends and family could even simple say “we’re sorry this happened to you”. You lose so much more than just an unfaithful spouse. Sisters and cousins. Parents and grandparents. So much loss.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is so true! So much loss. I guess it made it easier for D-Day #2. They were already gone. I’m sorry you had to experience it, too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh Sam. What shits they are. And as 2b said above…I’m just glad you will have the chance to heal and re-learn what an amazing, brave and strong woman you are, and shed people in your life who don’t know this…and recognize it fully…and edify you for your amazing-ness. Because you are amazing! HUGS.
LikeLiked by 1 person