House Hunting Blues

Hello all!  It’s Thursday. Time to take a break from being philosophical and digging deep into other topics. Let’s discuss house hunting and my long ago temper tantrum.

Blast From the Past 36

May 2014

Motherfucker! Today is not a good day. I shared my list of houses with my Zack today and he immediately dismisses pretty much everything due to price. He wants to keep it under $300k. HA! I’ve looked and looked and the only way you get that is by giving shit up. Either it’s small, outdated, worn down, or on a tiny lot.

Perhaps this wouldn’t be such a hot button issue but I know he and the whore discussed their dream house and I wonder if I’m just not picking the right house.

Perhaps it wouldn’t be such a hot button issue if this weren’t the fucking city he was planning to move to to be closer to his whore. This was their whole fucking plan. Get him closer so he could fuck her every other weekend. Maybe we should just buy a double wide so he has plenty of money left over to fly to his home state and stay at a really nice hotel while he fucks his whore. Maybe we should just take our daughter out of gymnastics so he has even more money to spend on his whore. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to be the one to pick the house out this whole time. Maybe they’ve already decided together what kind of house they want so when I find out he’s fucking around with her still she can just move into her fucking dream house. It wasn’t ever supposed to be mine. It was always supposed to be hers.

I live in a house I tolerate now. The only good part about moving was the chance to get a redo. Now I’m being asked to move to the city he originally intended to move to to be closer to his whore; I’m being asked to drive two hours to take my daughter to gym, and stay for hours in the town with the same name as the whore’s town. I’m being asked to give up all my friends and volunteer activities. I’m going to be asked to socialize with his whore loving family, to spend holidays with them, to have them in my house. And what do I get in return for that? JACK SHIT! I’m moving into another shit hole that I hate and all the promises we made to our kids were just lies.

The funny part is his sister who has cheated on every man she has married has everything she wants. I’m faithful for 20 years and I get nothing. Except cheated on.

All his bullshit about “whatever you want, baby” is just that. Bullshit. And now he’s saying we may join the country club so we don’t need a yard big enough for a pool. A pool at the country club is no fucking different than buying passes at any water park. It’s no different than loading them up and taking them to a lake every day. I’m sure as hell not skinny dipping in it. I’m waiting for him to buy me a $300 pool from Walmart and call it a day.

He doesn’t know why we need a house that’s more than 2500 square feet. Gee, maybe because we have two kids that are 11 and 13 and so we’ll have two teenagers in the house. God willing they’ll have friends and we’ll have a houseful of teenagers. We need a place to put them. A place they can go and be loud and goofy and they won’t disturb us. Can’t really do that with 2500 square feet. We’ll all be on top of each other. And it’s not like they can just take everyone over to the country club. Of course, there is the possibility that they’ll be so embarrassed by our house they won’t bring anybody over. Won’t that be great?

Their rooms will be the size of shoe boxes. The house will be so fucking small whenever people visit they’ll have to pay to stay at a hotel. Which means no one will visit. Which means all the bullshit about being closer to family will be just that- bullshit. Or a cruel joke.

And I know it’s pointless to buy a fixer upper. Nothing ever gets done until we move. If we move into a shit hole tomorrow we’ll still be living in a shit hole ten years from now.

Now he’s worried they won’t do well living in the country. They’re both delighted at the idea. And he’s never the one dealing with the phone calls about dogs barking, or dealing with the neighbors because one of the kids has done something minor and stupid, or been accused of doing something. I’m done with it. He can field the phone calls. He can get his ass up off the couch and deal with the neighbors. I’m. Done.

I deleted all my house hunting apps and at this point I don’t plan on going with him to look. He can buy whatever fucking house he wants. If I don’t like it I’ll stay here and divorce his ass. Or move in with my mom and divorce him. Either way, I’m not living in another house I hate, not when it’s located in Whoreville, and not when I’m being asked to give up everything.

Maybe he can take his fucking whore to look. Since they’re soul mates and have already talked about their dream house I’m sure it will be much smoother taking her. And since they wouldn’t want to move her into a house she hates it just makes so much more sense for her to pick the house out.

Oh yeah, May 1st marked twenty years together. Happy Anniversary, you lying, cheating bastard.

Present Day Sam Says:  I will admit that I sound like a complete spoiled brat in this post; looking back on everything that has happened in the last two years I realize the size of our house is so insignificant. I will also admit this is not the nicest entry and could possibly have hurt his feelings.  I don’t think it rises to the level of, “OMG!  My wife is going to leave me and she’s so mean and she hates me and will never forgive me so I may as well go fuck my cousin!”

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2 thoughts on “House Hunting Blues

  1. Having had to negotiate buying a home with what I viewed as an unreasonable list of demands, I completely understand your level of upset. And I have a wonderful marriage, there is no infidelity in our relationship, I love my DH very much, yet I still have thoughts of smothering him with a pillow to get my way. We have very different tastes. It took us nearly 3 years of looking to find my engagement ring (we had already been married a few years when we started). It took us 2 years to buy a couch. I was prepared for a long wait on the house, but lo and behold, we found The One after 6 days. We both loved the location, hated that it had an in-ground pool, and good LORD it needed a lot of work. But it had a terrific floor plan and good bone, was priced attractively (we bought a bank-owned property at nearly rock bottom of the market), so we dived in and started the list and budget for mandatory repairs and remodeling before we even moved in. But it’s home and reflects both of us, our individual tastes as well as the compromises we made to make it OUR home.

    Liked by 1 person

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