Although this is something I wrote over two years ago I could write this same post today, almost word for word.
Blast From the Past 41
Today I’d like to talk about renewing vows. That seems to be a very big thing with some couples who choose to work on their marriage.
My husband has been very big on it in the past. He would ask me repeatedly to marry him. Told me when we got back from Vegas (probably after I discovered his plans to marry the whore) that he kept walking by the chapel because he wanted to renew our vows but he was afraid to ask me, afraid I would say no.
There is a part of me that thinks it’s a good idea. A fresh start. A brand new beginning. Except for the two kids and 19, 20 years spent together. But, yeah, let’s go with new beginning. The old marriage is dead. The new marriage is beginning. Let’s mark the occasion.
There’s another part of me that thinks: Why bother? I didn’t think he would cheat on me the first time we got married and made vows to one another. But he did. The first set of vows he took didn’t seem to mean much so why would I believe the second ones mean anything? What- the second time he really means it? What happens the next time he starts feeling neglected, or like he’s only a paycheck? Is he going to pause and tell himself that maybe sexting with his whore of a cousin isn’t such a great idea? I don’t know. Some may give him the benefit of the doubt and say he learned from his past mistakes. Others would say once a cheater, always a cheater.
I suppose the question now is do I feel like being forgiving and gracious, or do I wish to punish him?