Does anyone else hate that saying? I don’t think there are many more offensive things a cheater can say than that. Hey, I realize I lied to you and cheated on you and completely disrespected you but it all turned out for the best! Maybe you went back to school, or got a promotion or just went back to work. Maybe you’re happily remarried or have a new boyfriend. Maybe, thanks to the divorce diet, you lost weight. Maybe you bought a new house or moved back to your home town. Whatever it is, it’s totally for the best and proof positive that the cheater was only thinking of YOU and your best interests.
Let it be known here and now I don’t give a shit if I meet the love of my life. I don’t care if I end up finding a job that pays me a million dollars a year and gives me perks that I can’t even think of right now. I don’t care that I have moved back to my hometown and I don’t care if one day I buy an amazing new home. I do not care one teeny tiny bit how amazing my life may end up at some point. If Cousinfucker ever dares to say those words I swear to God I will rip his throat out and shove it up his ass. Repeatedly.
He is NOT the hero in this damn story. He’s also not a victim but that’s a completely different topic. I can one day say it was for the best, but he can never say that. Just like he can never say our kids are resilient. No, the cheaters don’t get to cling to that. They don’t get to use any of that as a “Get out of jail free” card. It doesn’t make what they did okay.
After I moved all of Jackass’s clothes into the spare bedroom (even hung them up instead of just tossing them on the bed because that’s how stupid I was) he apparently thought I had tossed everything out. Oh, how I wish! Anyway, he writes me this long rambling text asking me to work with him to make this less stressful on everyone involved and telling me that I had two choices. I could either be bitter and resentful, or appreciate the fact that he was “releasing me from the burden of being his wife.” I kid you not. That is what that douche canoe actually texted me. Like he was doing me some big favor. Wasn’t that magnanimous of him? What a swell guy! He was just looking out for my best interests by “releasing me of my burden of being his wife”. How can you be mad at something like that? He is a true gentleman. Then he goes on to say we need to model to our children a new relationship, one that is based on us being happy for one another. Meditate on that for a minute.
Yes, I was supposed to be happy for him. The shit eating chimp lied to me all summer, cheated on me with the whore he cheated on me with 2 years prior; he gave her money out of our account, opened a joint checking account with her, and is happily embroiled in his sick affair with his cousin. He played me for a sucker while he made plans to empty our bank account and run away with the whore. I, on the other hand, have no new love of my life/soul mate. I’m alone. I’m not spending money like it’s water, unlike the two of them. I’m the one left behind to tell the kids and pick up the pieces of their broken lives. In addition to those happy facts, Pig Shit Dung Face moved me 2000 miles across the country, took me away from my friends, removed me from any possible job leads, and ripped my life to shreds. Now my whole life is crumbling in front of my eyes. I have no idea what’s going to happen to myself or to my kids, but my main concern is being happy for him and the whore. Yeah, I don’t think so. This is not an even playing field. Not by a long shot.
See, this is the narrative the cheaters want. They didn’t do anything that bad because, look, it all turned out for the best! And, hey, we’re happy for one another! Would Sam be happy for me if I really and truly were a shit eating chimp? I don’t think so. This just proves what a standup guy I am because she’s happy for me; we’ve developed a new relationship based on us being happy for one another. Sam has totally gotten past that part where I decimated her life and left her with absolutely nothing, leaving her to rebuild from the ashes.
No, it’s image management. As long as the cheated on spouse plays along and takes the good ol’ high road the cheater can maintain his or her image. “We’re still friends and you know, we obviously wouldn’t be friends if I had done anything wrong.”
Therein lies the problem. He did do something wrong. We are not friends. He is not a hero. I am not happy for him. He is not looking out for me. He is not looking out for, nor does he care about, his kids. He is not looking out for my best interests; in reality he doesn’t even care about my best interest.. And no, this really isn’t all for the best.