WTF?

So, I was watching ID TV the yesterday. I know you might find that shocking. Anyway…. I came across this episode where the husband was a Baptist minister and the wife was… well, his wife. Hang on to your hats, folks, because this story had everything- Jesus cheaters, murder, a slutty mistress, a depressed wife.

Like I said, the husband/cheater/eventual murderer was a Baptist minister. Loved by his congregation. Powerful. Charismatic. Had the world by the tail. By all outward appearances he and his wife had it all- a devoted church congregation, 2 beautiful kids, and a happy marriage. Then their 2 year old daughter was diagnosed with a brain tumor and eventually died. The wife was grief-stricken, suicidal. At some point her husband begins an affair with, I believe, a member of his congregation. Because hey, what else can a man possibly do when his wife is grieving the loss of their child and is suicidal?

Here’s the nutty part. Pastor Dipshit realizes he can’t divorce his wife and marry the whore. Oh no! That would be scandalous! He’s a pastor, for crying out loud. He can’t be associated with divorce. Just a small side note: If your church isn’t okay with divorce, something tells me they’re going to look down upon adultery as well and they are definitely not going to look kindly upon murder! But what do I know?

Hmmm… what to do, what to do? He wants to divorce his wife and marry his mistress but the church wouldn’t like that and he would lose all those cool perks of being a Baptist minister with a large and devoted following (like fucking members of the congregation!). So he does what anyone in that precarious situation would do. He kills his wife.

This is where it gets very kinky, and very sadistic, and very sad. He and his wife had gone on to have another child. She had sought treatment and was doing so much better. This new baby had given her purpose once again. But eventually she realizes something is wrong in her marriage and in her zest to please her husband she agrees to let him handcuff her to their bed for some kinky sex. To set the mood he gives her a glass of wine which had been laced with enough sleeping pills to kill her. He handcuffs her to the bed and waits for the pills to do their job. Only that doesn’t work. Apparently Pastor Dipshit is not only a lying, cheating asshole with zero morals and poor character, but also he is inept. So he places a pillow over her face and attempts to smother her while she is unconscious. He is a very incompetent killer because that doesn’t work either. Now remember, this poor woman is handcuffed to her bed and is completely defenseless. Finally, he places his hand over her mouth and nose and this time does indeed succeed in killing her. Sick bastard.

This is not the part that makes me say, “WTF?!?!” though. No, that comes later when it’s revealed that the mistress knows he killed his wife for her. In the beginning, she refused to talk to police and turn on her lover. Finally they subpoenaed her worthless ass and let her know they would toss her in jail if she didn’t talk. At that point she admits that while she didn’t plan or help with the murder, he did in fact tell her that he had killed his wife for her. The detectives who were being interviewed for the story said she didn’t seem remorseful; in fact, she actually seemed quite pleased that he went to such great lengths for her.

WTF?!?! This sicko gets a thrill out of the thought that she’s sleeping with a murderer? She’s obviously one of those very special snowflakes. You know the ones. The kind of special snowflake where her lover would kill his yucky, dragging-him-down, soul killing wife for her but would never ever under any circumstances attempt to one day kill her once she became the wife. Oh no! She shines ever so brightly. She’s special. She’s the one. She will never be yucky, or drag him down, or kill his soul, or strip his life of all joy. No! She will be the perfect wife and never give him reason to kill her.

I don’t know about you but for me when a man tells me he killed his wife for me that’s a definite no. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Get the fuck away from me. You are a murderer and I don’t date murderers.

It almost seems anticlimactic to ask how he thought he was going to successfully pull this off. His wife dies and he immediately moves on with someone else and he thinks no one is going to question that?

It once again goes to show that cheaters are a remorseless, self-centered, grandiose bunch. Us normal people think, “How did he possibly think he was going to pull that off?” He, on the other hand, thinks, “How could this possibly go wrong?” Because he’s the smartest man in the world. He’s brilliant. Most importantly, he believes he will get away with it and nothing will go wrong. For some cheaters it’s all, “If you think it, it will be.”

Little Miss Slut Whore isn’t any better. She doesn’t even have enough sense to be horrified that she’s sleeping with a man who killed his wife. It’s like she can’t connect the dots. Hey, if he killed that wife to be with the mistress, then what’s to say he won’t one day get tired of me and kill me off to be with the new mistress? Then again, they don’t ever think that way. No, they think they’re special and that he would never do that to them.

In the end two children were left basically as orphans. Their mom is dead; their father is in prison. His mistress was never charged and instead of being loyal to this wonderful man who murdered his wife for her she has undoubtedly moved on. She is probably out there fucking yet another married man and ruining another family, too stupid to reflect upon what she did and too narcissistic to actually feel any true remorse over what happened because of their affair.

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