I Hate This State!

I told you the whole driver’s license debacle was worthy of a post itself. It’s not just the driver’s license either although I will start with that.

Obviously I’m still pissed off about the fact that my daughter will end up holding a learner’s permit for fifteen months before she can finally get her license. Plus she’s going to have to take yet another driving test. Back where we were they took a driving test through Behind the Wheel training and that was it. Here she has to parallel park even. That should be fun. AND not that this will end up mattering because of the awful timing we already have, but she is considered a driver who has NOT taken Driver’s Ed or Behind the Wheel because this state is so much better than the other 49 in the union that they don’t count any of what she did in the other state. Nope. Nada. It’s like she never spent a semester taking Driver’s Ed in school. For FREE. It’s also like she never got up at 7 every day to do Behind the Wheel at the cost of $200. $200 that I could have put towards food because her dad wasn’t contributing a dime! But had we attempted to get a license when we first came out here instead of a month later, she would have had to have waited an additional month because as a driver who has NOT taken Driver’s Ed she would have to be sixteen and nine months before she could get a license.

Thankfully our insurance company doesn’t give a shit whether she took Driver’s Ed in this state or not. They only care about whether or not she took it. Unfortunately, that means I’m somehow going to have to come up with the $500 or so that it will take for Picasso to go through Driver’s Ed, or I’ll end up paying even more for him to drive. I am dreading that day. Rock Star is already going to cost me over $100. By the time Picasso is driving I’m going to be paying over $300 a month for insurance. More than likely with absolutely no help from Cousinfucker.

More stuff that pisses me off: I had to take a knowledge test before I could get a license. Hello! I’ve been driving for over 30 years! I got my very first license in this stupid state. I detest having to take a test before they’ll give me a license. I’ve been licensed in five different states now. Only two of them give you the benefit of the doubt and figure that if you were licensed in one state that you probably know how the fuck to drive a car. The others figure it’s a possibility you have no idea what you’re doing. So stupid!

My state is very very special though because in addition to having to take the stupid knowledge test, and needing my birth certificate, social security card, and two proofs of my new address I also needed my fucking marriage license!

Yep, here in this glorious state they can’t take it for granted that the name you currently have at 40+ years of age is not the same as the one on your birth certificate because you did something quite ordinary like, oh, getting married. No, there must be nefarious circumstances surrounding this name difference and without a marriage license they just couldn’t take the chance that you weren’t a terrorist or maybe just a run of the mill con artist. Seriously? You need my marriage license? This is ridiculous! I thought perhaps it was because of increased security since 9/11 but I have been licensed in 2 different states since then and I have NEVER had to show a marriage license. It’s not like I don’t have it; I do. I’m just pissed that I have to show it. Is this state just so much more wonderful than any of the others and that causes their standards to be so much higher? Do they have millions of people trying to sneak in to this bland state and procure a driver’s license so they need to up their requirements beyond what any other state requires? Thank God I actually had it and could locate it easily! Too bad Cousinfucker doesn’t need to jump through these hoops. He’s the one that has caused this clusterfuck but he’s sitting pretty without a care in the world.

Honestly, it’s been 2 years since I got my last license but I don’t remember them asking me for any proof of ID! I think I had to prove I lived there but I don’t remember bringing my birth certificate or SS card. It was almost like they figured I had a license from another state and I had already had to jump through all these hoops to prove my identity so they were good with that. Pass the vision test and here’s your license! Now I could be wrong and I did indeed have to show everything; I’ve just forgotten it because I had everything handy and I wasn’t in a pissy mood about moving. That is entirely possible. But I KNOW I didn’t have to show my marriage license.

Getting plates is another headache. I couldn’t show them my registration and proof of insurance. Oh no! They need the fucking title. Guess what? I don’t have the title because it’s a new car and I didn’t pay for it in cash in full. Now I get to request the title. They have a whole form for me to fill out. I ended up needing to take it home because they want the lien holder’s name and address and I while I kinda knew the name of the bank I wasn’t absolutely certain, and I definitely didn’t know the address off the top of my head.

They give you two months to switch everything over. That’s probably not unusual. I’m simply held to a deadline because of all the financial aid I’m requesting from the state. I have to submit proof that I’m a legal citizen and since I don’t have a passport I have to provide a birth certificate and a current state driver’s license. You would think in their zeal to make you an official citizen of this stupid, ass backwards shithole of a state they would make it just a little easier to comply, but NO! They have endless hoops through which you must jump!

I’m also more than a little annoyed about the school’s immunization requirements. I don’t like getting shots. My kids don’t like it either. So once they had their 3 year old shots I told them they wouldn’t get anymore shots until high school. Turns out it was middle school when they would need the next round but that was close enough. I told them both that after that it was completely up to them whether or not they ever went back to get another booster. By the time they would be due they would be adults and on their own.

Interestingly enough Rock Star ended up ripping her leg open approximately 2 weeks after her tetanus booster. She had to go in for stitches and they, of course, ended up using a needle to numb her up. Three years later she broke her nose and had a huge gash on it which needed to also be stitched up so once again she was subjected to a needle. Sorry about that, kiddo!

Regardless, I’m annoyed that this particular state requires an additional vaccine that neither of our two previous states required. Again- it’s not like we managed to squeak by and all of those other states were totally off their game. It’s simply another damn hoop through which we must jump. I’m also wondering if they require 2 doses of the chicken pox vaccine while other states only require one because she’s attended school in four different states now; we’ve never had a problem up until now. Middle school is generally when the kids need their additional booster shots. She didn’t need it when we lived out west when she began middle school. She only needed the tetanus booster. She didn’t need a second dose when she started high school in a completely different state. And she didn’t need the additional vaccine either, although it was offered.

I know I’m griping and I realize it’s petty. I will ultimately do whatever is needed in order to get all of this done. I will listen to my 16-year old bitch and bellyache about getting more shots while her father drinks and fucks his whore and misses out on all of this delightfulness. I will march both of our asses down to the Health Department, seeing as how we have no primary care doctor and no insurance anyway. I will, as always, take care of everything while CF sits around oblivious to everything.

I’m looking forward to the day when I can actually say I’m thankful for this move, because honestly? These last two months have been pretty much putting out one fire after another and dealing with nonstop disappointment. I’m tired of it. Why does this state have to be so stupid?

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3 thoughts on “I Hate This State!

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