Oh boy! I’m guessing I have one or two new readers. My view count is over 200 for the very first time! I guess that makes sense after you’ve been posting for a while. I have almost 250 entries so if someone new comes along, likes what they read, and decides to catch up it wouldn’t take long to get over 200 views. On the other side of the coin, I have almost 250 entries. I am either not getting a lot of new people who are reading, or people check me out and decide they don’t like the blog. Today though we’re going to focus on the POSITIVE so… Hooray for over 200 page views!
I know things have been dark around here since the beginning of June. I was giving that some thought because it is possible that someone who just found out they’ve been cheated on will stumble upon my little blog. I don’t tend to recommend people leave or stay because once again I find that to be a personal decision. But if someone is on the fence, or perhaps even leaning towards leaving and then they read my story I don’t want them to be discouraged. Yes, my situation sucks. Big time! But not every story ends my way. Quite honestly, I’m not even at the end yet. I’m not divorced so anything could happen.
Was I heartbroken when I found out what my husband was doing? Yes. Was I worrying about a million different things, most of them focusing on finances and being able to keep a stable environment for our kids? Of course. Here’s the thing though: After I got over that initial kick in the throat and took action I began to feel better. I’m pretty sure I’ve said before that if he were still paying me what he’s been ordered to pay I would be fine. I’d still be living in my old house, my daughter would still be going to her old high school and rocking it there, my son would be in the marching band, Rock Star would be driving, and I would probably be working by now. Life would have been good. I got over him pretty quickly. It’s everything else that has taken a toll.
I know it can be tempting to stay put. I get that. Some may be thinking they need to stay for financial security. I get that as well. When I first found out what he was doing I was sorely tempted to broach him about the possibility of continuing on with a marriage of convenience. If what I’ve been writing over the past four months has caused you to think that it’s better to stay with the devil you know let me direct you on over to Chump Lady. Hundreds of posters over there can tell you how they stayed as well, not wanting to disrupt their children’s lives, not knowing how they would survive out on their own. And then they’ll tell you how he (or she) left anyway. I don’t tell you this to sway anyone into leaving. I tell you this because it’s a possibility. Sometimes despite our best intentions, our best laid plans, they take off and leave anyway.
My advice if you’re going to stay is to get yourself financially secure. I don’t know how that looks for each individual person. I do know that I should have begun working after I found out about CF and Harley. I should have made a plan and decided what, if anything, I wanted to go back to school for and started that journey. Don’t be me! Don’t get blindsided. Go back to school or finish school. Get a job, even if it’s only part-time. It will help you out so much if your spouse does it again and leaves this time. People always say that my volunteer experience counts and it’s so useful but the reality is it doesn’t. No one cares. Put money aside. Start up your own retirement account if you’re a stay at home parent. Some people swear by getting a post nuptial that will give you significant assets in case of another round of cheating. Others say they’re not worth the paper they’re printed on. Also, don’t move. That’s my PSA for day: Protect yourself financially. Take steps as though you’re going to divorce so that you’re protected in case you actually do.
Now onto more pleasant things. Like this bowl of sugary greatness complete with delightful marshmallows that I had for breakfast. Mmmm!
Doesn’t that look delicious? Fruit Loops with marshmallows. My favorite.
Yes, I went grocery shopping yesterday. I actually cooked dinner for my kids last night. My niece was over. She and Rock Star went out to lunch, did a little shopping and then Queen B dropped Rock Star off at work. She stopped by to drop off my Rock Star’s purchases and once she heard I was going grocery shopping she offered to go with me. Isn’t she sweet? I love that girl. When I told her what I was making for dinner she announced she was going to be staying. The more the merrier. In case anyone is wondering I made the slow cooker loaded baked potato soup that I posted back in January.
I ran out of bacon bits so I actually fried up some bacon to add to the bacon bits. I also made it on the stove top because I didn’t have 3 hours to wait. It still tasted great. I would recommend cooking for 45 minutes to an hour so that the hash browns have a chance to soften if you’re going to cook it on the stove.
This morning I had another interview with a temp agency. She sounded fairly positive about a job that had just come up. She was going to see if they would increase the pay. I felt pretty good about myself. I wore my cute kickass boots and the dress I bought to go to court in (but then didn’t have to). Here I am in all my kickass glory…
Hello everybody. I see two dogs made it into the picture. Anyway, this is what I look like. Well, this is what I look like when I’m dressed up. P.S. In the picture to the left you can see my magnolia painting. It ended up making the move.
I need to do the computer assessments at home because their computers were down so after I finish here I am going to get right on that.
I’m going to apply at a couple more places so that I will have two jobs because even if the position she talks about pans out it won’t pay me enough to do diddly squat. But hey, at least it will allow me to get my foot in the door and pay bills while I try to find something else. See? Positive attitude! I can do it!
I’m probably going to delete the next two pictures (and the one above) after a few hours. I don’t think Cousinfucker or his minions read my blog or even know of its existence, but the one thing I could always tell myself is that unless you knew one of us personally you wouldn’t know it was me (or him). Once the divorce is final I don’t care who reads what!
Here I am in close up…
I so wish I could take selfies like my daughter does. Every picture she takes is amazing. I take about 20 to get 1 that I find tolerable.
Excuse the trash cans on the counter. They are locking trash cans but my dog has apparently accepted that as a challenge. Since he can’t get it open he simply knocks it over and takes the damn lid off. I came home from my interview to find trash all over the floor. Bad dogs!
Yes, I said dogs, plural. Oh make no mistake. I know which one is knocking it over but trust me, the little one gets in on it after the lid is off. In fact, he probably growls and nips at the bigger ones so he gets the best pickings. The female might hang back but my guess is she’s in the mix as well.
And this is the expression on my face most days…
Have a great day! I’m off to do some assessments. Wish me luck!