In what has become my life I’ve had teeny tiny rays of sunshine followed by huge dark rain storms.
Today’s small beam of sunshine? I had a phone interview with Target and they want me to come in tomorrow for another interview. Yep, 47 fucking years old with a college education and if I’m very very lucky I’ll be working at Target this season. Part-time. Hooray!
Followed by today’s monsoon… as far as we know Rock Star did not make the cheer team. Yep, voted MVP and All-Conference last year and can’t even make the fucking team up here. #thanksdad I hate him so fucking much. I hate him for everything he has taken from her.
This shit is why I am never positive about anything having to do with the future. I am thrown some tiny bit of not so horrible crap that I spin and spin into a positive, like a phone interview with Target. Because hey! At least I’m getting my foot in the door! It’s current work experience! So what if I’m making $8 or $9 an hour and can’t even afford to pay my bills? Think of the positives! You’re doing it on your own! Hooray! Life is great!
Then I’m sucker punched with yet another round of awful shit heading my way. Guess what? Your daughter’s life sucks here! She can’t even make a sideline cheer team! Her whole high school life now is going to now consist of going to work and going to school. You got her hopes up, insisted she try out because she would make the team and make new friends, and now she’s been ground up and tossed aside. She says she doesn’t care but I don’t believe that for a minute. If she doesn’t care it’s only because she’s given up hope.
You know, some days I truly believe that prison can’t possibly be as bad as my life is now.