What Do I Want?

I wrote what I considered to be a nice post about CF and I ended up with an interesting comment. Now, this person said she had read my blog so I’m guessing she wasn’t commenting strictly on my last post but on the blog as a whole. I was just going to respond in the comments but the response got very long so I decided to turn it into a separate post.

I’ve enjoyed reading your blog. I know it helps to vent. I’m not trying to be critical, but have you considered letting go of the animosity? Yes, you were lied to. Yes, he’s scum.

But perhaps it’s time to let go.

 

Have I considered letting go of the animosity? That’s an interesting question. See, back before he fucked me completely over by quitting yet another job, I was fine. I had no animosity. I wouldn’t spit on the man if he were on fire but I gave him very little thought. My kids and I were doing fine. We were going to church. My daughter was active in school. My son was going to join the marching band. I was going to start looking for a job right around the time my daughter could drive. I was looking forward to getting divorced after our one year waiting period was over. I had a plan and we were doing beautifully. But then he quit his new job. Stopped paying support. Forced us to move a second time in 2 years. Made my daughter transfer her junior year. Cost her her driver’s license and wasted my damn money. It’s been less than 5 months since he dropped that particular bomb so the animosity is relatively new. I’m not really interested in being all namaste. He’s playing some rather serious games with me and my kids and our future. I have no desire to reward that behavior. If not for his antics we would probably already be divorced and he could be married to the new love of his life.

And honestly? I’m a dream STBXW.  I’m not harassing him; I never called his phone, texted him, or sent emails repeatedly.  I didn’t break his crap. I didn’t throw anything onto the lawn. I didn’t show up at his work and cause a scene. I’ve never confronted his cousin/mistress. I don’t ever talk to him. Period. If there is information to be passed along I pass it along. If he requests something I produce it. He lived at home and paid me what he thought he was going to be ordered to pay me in spousal and child support. I was supposed to use all of my money to pay the household bills (you know, the one he was living in as well) while he got to spend his money on the whore and her kids. Every weekend he left to go be with her and then returned home so that he could go to work during the week. I let him go with no fight. Again, no harassing texts or phone calls. No showing up on her doorstep with kids in tow or even by myself. I didn’t say a word to him about it. He absolutely had it made. Hell, when I finally kicked him out of the master bedroom and into the guest room I hung up all of his clothes! Nothing was just dumped in there as many people advised me to do. Actually, what they advised me to do was dump his crap on the lawn. I didn’t. I took the high road. I waited for my day in court. If that’s animosity and seeking revenge I’d say he had nothing to complain about.

Do you know what all that got me? More lies, mainly. He lied and said I had him served and he had no idea why. He lied and said I threw everything of his in the trash. He lied and said I kicked him out of the house and that was why he had to move out of the state. He even lied and told people I wouldn’t let him take a single item from the house. If the lies weren’t enough he went one further and showed naked pictures of me to the whore. Very nice.

Oops, wait! We did have one confrontation in person when I presented him a list for his half of the household expenses but that was fairly tame. He also made the mistake of asking me if I was okay way back in the very beginning. I’m not sure you could even call it a confrontation but I did let him know that, no, I was not okay and I listed the reasons why I was not. Then there was also the time I made the grievous mistake of letting him know the support check was late (after it had been “lost” in the mail the month before). I guess you could also count the time I found out he was no longer depositing his check into our account. I confronted him and was accused of stealing every dime he made. Does the night I demanded he delete all pictures of me off of his phone after learning about his penchant for sharing them with the whore also count as a confrontation? It was quite brief, lasting only a minute or so. Nonetheless, I think he had a pretty dreamy situation going on.

As far as letting go I have let go of him. I let go the minute I heard about his affair. That doesn’t end his other obligations though. I tend to believe that this whole idea of letting go simply means agreeing to eat another shit sandwich. Or rolling over and letting them do whatever they want to do.  That’s very convenient for them and I’m sure that cheaters would love that. Who wouldn’t love to do whatever the hell they wanted to do with absolutely no consequences and everyone covering for them?

Also, this is a blog about infidelity and divorce (and a few other things here and there). It doesn’t mean his affair is center stage in my life every single minute of the day; it means this is what I’ve chosen to blog about. I’m also in the middle of a divorce. I’m sure letting go will be a lot easier once I’m legally untethered to the asshole. I have heard it said you can’t really be Meh until the divorce is over. I’m not divorced and he keeps piling shit my way so there’s always a new adventure for me, thanks to him. I’ve likened it to trying to let a wound heal when someone is always coming in and slicing it open again. You want me to heal? Stop cutting me.

Sometimes adult relationships just don’t work out. That’s life. Someone you love doesn’t love you back. It’s harsh, but it’s reality.

You are correct that sometimes adult relationships just don’t work out. That’s not what happened here though. If he had decided he just couldn’t live with me anymore that would be one thing. Instead he didn’t decide to move on until he had someone else lined up. He cheated. He had an affair. He lied and basically stole marital funds to give to his mistress. He abandoned his children and left me financially destitute.

He moved us across the country. He tore our lives apart and forced us to rebuild them. Then he tore them apart again when he began his affair. And then he did it a third time when he quit his second job in 4 months and refused to help support his kids, forcing us to move once again. I am not going to file that under Oh Well It Just Didn’t Work Out.

It was deliberate. It was deceitful. I have no desire or obligation to sweep it under the rug with a shrug of my shoulders and sigh, “These things happen. Relationships end.”

As someone who has been cheated on myself, yeah, it hurts. But you have to move forward. Especially when children are involved. I worked my ass off to get an education. However, even with an advanced degree, I would scrub toilets if I had to for my kids.

I don’t have a problem with going back to work. Unfortunately I can’t make people hire me and while it sounds good to say you’d scrub toilets, if scrubbing toilets 80 hours a week still didn’t pay your bills then you’re scrubbing toilets for nothing.

I am working. Unfortunately it doesn’t relieve the financial burden I face. Will I work the 60 hours needed in order to barely be able to pay my bills and provide for my kids? Yes, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it or act like it’s no big deal. It sucks big hairy donkey balls. I’m going to hate every single second of it and I don’t feel the need to pretend that everything is wonderful and I just love unloading trucks, stocking shelves and lugging books around. I’m sure as hell not going to work my ass off while he sits around the whorehouse drinking, watching TV, and fucking a slut and not say a word about the fact that he is not providing a damn dime in support for his kids.

This man has made 6 figures for the last 15 years and miraculously, 2 months before our divorce can be finalized, he is suddenly overcome with PTSD? Yeah, sorry but there is absolutely no way I’m going to sit down, shut up, and smile while he fucks me over up one side and down the other.

And no matter how much “adult” hurt I felt, I would never ever lay that on my kids.

I chose to marry him. I chose to have children with him. Now I am choosing to divorce him. My children will never know the hurt that I felt, nor will I ever speak poorly about their father in front of them. Because he is their father. Period.

Unfortunately for CF his kids were older when this happened and I am not going to lie to protect him. I’m not going to say that I have been 100% perfect or that they have never overheard me. I’m sure I have slipped up once or twice even with most of my conversations happening when they were out of the house. There was no way to sugarcoat any of what happened in the last 14 months. He chose to live in the house and ignore his kids the entire time. He chose to go spend the weekends with his mistress instead of watching his daughter at any of her competitions. He moved out of the house and out of the state without saying a word to his kids. He chose to never come back and see his kids. I guess I could have lied to them and told them he just moved out and that he was living down the street, but, well, that would have been a lie. And then what do I do about him never visiting them? More lies? Or maybe I could tell them I refused to let him see them and then that way he comes across as the good guy and I’m the mean, unreasonable mommy that keeps them from him. That’s not going to happen. I’m no longer his PR agent. I suppose I could have lied again when he stopped paying support and made it seem like moving them once again was all my idea for no reason at all. But you guessed it. I’m no longer his PR agent and I’m not going to lie for him.

I just want to make it clear I do not talk badly about him and I don’t lay my hurt on them. Aside from the day I had to tell my kids we were getting a divorce, and the day I informed my daughter we were going to have to move again, they have never seen me cry about any of this. Considering the fact that I have cried pretty much every. single. day since he stopped supporting them I think that’s quite a feat.

When this first happened I tried the ol’, “This Is Adult Stuff and Doesn’t Concern You” approach when my son was asking about jobs and me returning to work. At the age of 13 he was pretty spot on when he replied, “This affects my life, too, so it is my business.” I made the decision to be honest with my kids in an age appropriate manner. You asked where your dad is. He’s in his home state with his girlfriend. When asked if everyone down there knew and if they were okay with it I was honest and told them that they did indeed know and they did support it. When arranging for rides to school they wanted to know why I couldn’t take them. I told them I couldn’t take them because I had to go to a parenting class. Your dad lost his job and won’t be sending anymore money; we are going to have to move. When asked when Dad would be back I told them I didn’t know for certain but that I thought he had moved out. When I found out he had moved out of state I told them.

I don’t tell my kids he’s an asshole; I’ve even reminded them of some of the good things he did or places he went with us. They know he’s an asshole because of his actions. He hasn’t bothered to drive to see them one single time since he moved away and yet they saw him leave every weekend to go visit the whore. He won’t talk to them on the phone. He hasn’t texted either of them since June. He couldn’t be bothered to stick his head in their rooms and ask them what was up the entire six months he lived with us. He never once offered to take them to dinner or out for ice cream or to do anything with him. Whenever he texted our daughter the texts were self-serving pity parties for himself, concentrating on him and his needs. He upset her so much she ended up crying because of the things he was saying. He thinks of himself and only himself and tries to guilt her into feeling sorry for him.

I definitely don’t say to them the things I say here. Honestly, the funniest part of this whole thing is the fact that even after cheating on me he’s the one always talking crap about me! Your mom never loved me. Your mom didn’t take care of me. Your mom took a bunch of money from me. Your mom has a lawyer and I don’t. Your mom takes all of my paycheck; I barely have anything left over to live on. Read the court order, kids! Anything short of me laying down, giving him everything he wants, and then dying is going to result in him complaining about what I’m doing, and if I’m being totally honest I think he’d probably be pissed off if I died because that would mean he might actually have to take care of his own kids and that might throw a wrench in the whole setup with Harley. Yeah, he’d probably rather I just give him whatever he wants.

I’m not judging you. You were clearly f-ed over. But do you want revenge, or do you want peace? Those two emotions cannot co-exist.

I would hardly call insisting on my fair share, or him living up to the court order he agreed to, seeking revenge but if that’s what it is I’m fine with it. I’m not one of those that thinks forgiveness is necessary or even appropriate in every case. I’m not seeking peace. Truth be told, I’m not searching for either; I want my damn money that he owes me. If peace means bending over and grabbing my ankles I’m not interested. If revenge gets me what I’m owed then sign me up!

 

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25 thoughts on “What Do I Want?

  1. When I read your blog, which I do frequently, I often find myself feeling very bad. I know that I fall into the camp of “cheaters” though I could not have imagined myself here a year ago. As you know, your opinions can be quite harsh on cheaters and I’m not going to defend my actions. It was wrong what I did. Reading your blog is humbling and good for me.

    But then I read a post like this which makes me terribly angry at your ex. I cannot believe he would do something like that. I know what I did was wrong, and in many ways still is, but it takes a special kind of asshole to do the things he has done to his family.

    You can go ahead and continue to hate cheaters and bash them to your heart’s content, but you should know we are not all like that. I would never turn my back on my children; or try to fleece my wife out of money and force her to move because of it; I would never overnight move out of state and abandon my children; I would never blame everything on my wife every chance I had. It makes me sick to think of that. I know I’m in the wrong but I’m miles apart from this asshole your write about. We are not all the same.

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    1. Patience

      I don’t know your story, and of course Sam’s story is horrific in how her stupid not quite yet ex is behaving in extremes, but understand that when a married person is involved with someone outside their marriage, good decisions are often not made.

      In your case, if you are still involved with someone, that person may influence you to do many things you wouldn’t think of doing. In Sam’s case, her husband’s affair partner was an active participant in destroying not just her family, but also her children’s stability and safety.

      So if the woman or man you are having an affair with asks you to leave your family, so you do. And then she wants you to not see your kids much and pay for a more expensive place than you could afford, how will you handle it.

      Most cheaters don’t seem to end up (at least not very for very long) with the people they screw around with. But for cheaters who pursue a “real” relationship with those they are cheating with, the consequences for the children (and former spouse) usually aren’t so rosy.

      So yeah most HUMANs aren’t as bad as CF, but trust me when I say that when marriages end because one spouse is leaving for another person, it is far messier and more contentious than when someone ends the relationship because of a million other reasons.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Oh yeah. And when the cheater plays games and won’t do the right thing by the abandoned family it gets even more contentious. Although to be fair CF hasn’t had to deal with much of any contention. He texted me in June about losing his job. I texted back at my lawyer’s urging to see if he was okay. He texted back a one line reply about how long our insurance would be in effect. I contacted him in August to let him know the kids and I had vacated the house and to give him information about the house and utilities. Never heard a peep out of him. He hasn’t had to deal with a damn thing! I’m the one listening to unhappy and disappointed kids, not him.

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    2. I promise I won’t turn this into a separate post. Just a few things. 1. I don’t hate cheaters and bash them constantly. I hate MY cheater and I bash him because he deserves it. It may surprise you to know that I know more than 1 or 2 cheaters. None of them are currently cheating, thankfully. I don’t think I could handle that. I am not quite as hard lined as Chump Lady when it comes to reconciliation; I think it’s possible although I concede that she is probably right that most of the time it is fake reconciliation to prevent any real consequences. She, too, though realizes that most people can’t eradicate every single cheater from their life.

      2. I do realize that not every man (or woman) who cheats ends up doing the things that CF did. Hell, look at Harley. She’s cheating with him but she hasn’t abandoned her kids or completely upended their lives. They’re doing great! But cheating is still not good. “I’m going to cheat on my wife and leave her for another woman but I won’t screw her over in our settlement,” is not really a huge consolation for most people.

      3. This is one I’d really like an answer to. I’m curious as to why you read my blog. I’m not complaining, mind you, and I really appreciate the fact that you do. Keep reading by all means! I’m just curious as to what would possibly interest you about it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for your well thought out response.
        1. Ok, I apologize. I may have been too harsh. I have read some of your posts and it feels like you are generalizing some very negative thoughts toward all cheaters. As if all the situations are exactly the same. I also know the context of what you went through and understand that you have full grounds to feel and say those things. I guess I just wanted you to know that we are not all like him. Even though – yes it’s not much of a consolation. But it has been a wake up call that my own marriage has some big issues to fix.
        3. First, I like your writing. Second I really empathize with your situation. Those two things together make your blog a very interesting and captivating read for me. Third I think I want to know what this would look like from my wife’s side a few years from now. How is she feeling? What issues is she dealing with? How can I be a better partner to make her pain as little as possible. I want to be the opposite of CF.

        I don’t know, maybe there is something more to it. I just like reading your perspective. Maybe it’s like when we were kids and secretly reading your sister’s cosmos to get the “woman’s” perspective. 🙂

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      2. I was going to go in the order you replied to but I think this is the most important thing I will say. You ask how you can be a better partner to make her pain as little as possible a few years from now when you leave her for someone else? You can’t. It is going to hurt no matter what. If you truly want to do right by her then tell her NOW. Give her a chance to have a new life with someone who will love her and won’t be comparing her to a fantasy that she will never be able to compete against. From reading your blog I know your wife is a doctor. I’m not sure if there is a big discrepancy in income but if she’s awarded full custody you’ll end up paying child support regardless. Pay it. In full. On time. Don’t dick her over on the settlement. In fact, be generous and willing to split it with her benefitting. Keep your AP away from your kids; the last thing your wife wants is to have your mistress playing mommy to her children. Don’t drag this on for another 2 or 3 or 4 years. Do you know what that does? It will make her feel like her last years with you were a waste of time and a big, huge humiliating lie. Your mistress has play dates with her, for crying out loud! She gets turned on by the fact that you’re texting the both of them at the same time with the same message. I can’t even begin to tell you how humiliating that is for your wife should she ever learn the truth. She will end up wondering if everything was a lie. She won’t look back on any of those memories fondly at all.

        It seems like the two of you are doing your best to do damage control; it has nothing to do with doing right by your spouses. You don’t want to have to suffer any consequences or look like the bad guys. If you break it off long enough for you both to get your divorces then you can continue to gaslight your respective spouses and try to convince them that nothing was going on between the two of you while you were still married. I don’t think they’re going to be fooled. She’s smart; she will never believe that your “best friend” who came over for play dates just coincidentally ended up divorcing her husband, and then you ask your wife for a divorce and now, wow, the two of you are together. But there was nothing going on before.

        Seriously, if you truly believe that Schmoopie is your “soul mate” and you want to take your wife’s feelings into consideration then do the right thing and end your marriage now. Stop messing with her heart and give her a chance to create a new life and to find someone new. Accept the fact that she’s not going to like you very much and you’re not going to have a friendly relationship. She may even hate you. Accept the fact that you ARE going to be the bad guy in this situation. The good news is your children are very young so you probably won’t have any fallout there. The other good news is you already have someone lined up to take her place so you won’t go through your divorce alone.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Look. The idea of “Let it Go,” a la Elsa is a good one in theory. Put the past behind you. Turn your face to the sun. All that jazz. But that’s like when my grammie used to tell me, “No, honey, you don’t hate that person.” Yeah, Grammie, actually I DO. You can’t just tell me what I do or don’t feel and then make it a reality.
    CousinFucker didn’t just wrong you. HE KEEPS WRONGING YOU. Every time you have to take another job, every time you kids aren’t able to do what they want, every time you hear some new piece of bullshit from his camp, it’s a new battle. Your war isn’t over. You’re still in the trenches, fighting with all you have for what’s best for your kids. Who, in that situation, has time to turn her face to the sun?
    When your divorce is final and you have some kind of closure, then, maybe. Until then? Anger is your armor, your shield. And you have every right to use the fuck out of it until it is no longer needed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is exactly it. He KEEPS wronging me. Every time I catch my breath, formulate a new plan and move ahead he takes another swing. And yes, anger is my shield that I need in order to continue fighting for what my kids and I deserve.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I really don’t understand why anyone would tell you to “heal” or “let go” on anything but your own time. I think in many ways this kind of deep betrayal (and for you, it is a continuing betrayal) is harder to get over than death. Would anyone ask you to “get over it” quicker if your husband had died? Grief is never easy. I think you’re doing a great job with your new life and your kiddos.

    Then again, I think R. Patience up there is pretty gross and kidding himself (I could only read one post in his blog), so I might not be very objective. LOL.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think that is the conventional wisdom. Move on. Don’t be better. It’s all for the best. I don’t think the commenter meant anything horrible by it. Like I said, my response got very long so I decided it would be easier to just make it into another post.

      Thank you for the kudos. I don’t particularly feel like I’m doing a great job but I’m still breathing.

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    1. I will! Actually, as I said above I didn’t do this post to try to shame or retaliate against the commenter. My response just got very long.

      I think most people expect you to get over it and follow the common narrative. I refuse to do that.

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  4. Perhaps a different perspective Sam – and please know that I offer this up fully knowing that although I try to follow my own advice, it does not come easily, and I’m not even necessarily very good at it.

    You have way more to be angry about than I do. The betrayal that you experienced shocks me, and I’m sure many. And you are still in the thick of it with the divorce, so you do just keep getting dragged through the mud and the muck over and over again.

    At some point though, the only person your anger is hurting is you. He doesn’t see it – he will never get it even if you were in contact. And there is a real risk of people turning so inward as a result of their anger and their grief that it becomes difficult to let it go and take steps toward a brighter future. I feel it myself often. I see it a lot with people who I work with. It can consume you.

    Yes, you must come through it at your own time and on your own schedule, and it is not fair for anybody to judge whether you are moving through the steps appropriately. But ultimately, your anger isn’t going to change things, or make him any less of a dick. But at some point, it could prevent you from letting others into your life who could be good for you. Who could help you find happiness.

    I guess just consider who you want to be. I have always been the cheerful, happy, bright-spirited person. As ShyGuy pointed out, a “kind, sweet girl.” So when another friend said that I seem pretty bitter lately, and he hopes I don’t get too far down the path of bitterness, I tried to listen even though it was hard for me to hear. Because I don’t want to be bitter. I do want to move on, and let go. And that will be harder than to just stay stuck. But I am worth that – rising above. And you are too.

    Hugs, BLT

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh I get it, BLT. Truthfully I sometimes wonder if I’m going to end up a bitter old woman. Maybe. Like I was saying below, it’s hard to concentrate on happiness and friendships and volunteering and hobbies when you don’t have your basic needs met. I’m sad to say that it boils down to money. I’m not happy when I’m broke, when I can’t afford a meal out with my kids, when I have no idea how I’m going to afford to buy them a single Christmas gift. If I were receiving my court ordered spousal and child support I would be fine. Yes, he did stupid things and I would blog about them, but most of it was just recording the sheer audacity of his actions. It was amusing.

      Things could change. We could go before a judge and the judge could tell him to pay up or go to jail. The judge could refuse to fall for his bs and while reducing the amount I get still order him to pay a hefty amount and he could realize that if he doesn’t pay he’s going to end up in jail and he doesn’t want that. Then life would be good. I would have very few complaints.

      The reality is I truly do feel most days that my life is over. I made a huge mistake in staying home with my kids instead of focusing on a career. I was an idiot for following him around the country and believing that his future was our future. Financial security is years away, if ever. I am not a young person starting over. I have approximately 20 years to build up to anything and if I’m starting waaaaay down at the bottom I’m not sure how high I’m going to climb or how long it’s going to take me. It’s not self-pity; it’s a numbers game. It’s like women who suddenly find themselves divorced in their 60s. The fact of the matter is their dating pool is considerably smaller because men start dying and you don’t find a huge number of younger men that want to date older women unless those women have money.

      The funny thing is despite what is written in this blog I’m really not angry most of the time. Most of the time I’m just stressed, sad and defeated. I know that doesn’t hurt him either but it’s where I am.

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  5. I am one of those who think he is gone and not coming back. I hate it for you and your children. He is still a rat bastard. YOU.DO.NOT.ABANDON.YOUR.CHILDREN!!!! I don’t care if he has decided he has PTSD. I don’t care if he got fired. I hate him for your children. He left them nearly destitute and without the help of your family you would be homeless.
    I have a question for betrayed bloggers. Why can’t you write his name? You are not defaming him. He cheated on you and abandoned his family!

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    1. Question: When you say you think he’s gone and not doing back what do you mean? Are you talking about him never working again, or are you talking about him never coming back to me or his kids?

      I don’t give his name because I’m still in legal limbo. It has nothing to do with protecting him and everything to do with protecting myself. If I use his name and someone Googles him or even perhaps me, they could find this blog and then who knows what would happen? I prefer to remain anonymous for the time being.

      If you’re really curious though email me and I’ll friend you on Facebook if you have an account; you’ve posted often enough. There are pictures, although none of Harley. I just don’t want it out in the open.

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  6. I didn’t intend my comment to come off as hypercritical…or, frankly, critical at all. As a reader…an outsider…it just struck me that perhaps you were wasting a lot of energy being angry. Of course you have a right to be angry. I don’t know you, so perhaps this blog is your place to vent, and this is the only place where the anger consumes you. I hope it actually doesn’t in your real life though….and here is why:

    I think you are a talented writer. I think your writing is interesting and real. I hope you can harness that gift and create something positive from it. I am sure you will…maybe after you take him for everything he’s worth 🙂

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    1. I didn’t write this because I found your comment hypercritical. I just had a lot to say in response and after I typed it all up I thought, “Wow! That’s a lot for a simple response.” So I made it into a separate post. There are no hard feelings. And thank you for the compliment about my writing. I appreciate it.

      Also, I’m not sure why your comment went into moderation again unless you used a different email address. I have it set up so that once your first comment is approved by me you no longer need approval.

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  7. I already have to comment and I haven’t even read it all yet! Seriously, you heal at your own pace. PEOPLE STOP TRYING TO SET A TIMER ON SOMEONE ELSES HEALING!!!! Biggest pet peeve! I mean I’d love for someone to walk in my shoes and then tell me to “let go”! Anyway, guess I should finish the rests.
    Love to you! Take your time and vent and bitch all you want. It’s good to get it out :)!

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  8. Ok, I read the entire post and I’m 100% with you. My children don’t know much about what their father has done but even without me saying, the know enough from their own observations. Mine owes me tons of money too and he is totally focused on himself and is offended when I remind him of his financial obligations. His focus is lining up his next victim to have a supply of sex and if he’s lucky they’ll support him. He can’t be alone. So like you, I’m not bending over and taking it but I’m also not living miserably all the time. I’m stressed often and pissed off a lot but mainly because of at he has done to our children. Currently he’s pretending to be a good father but it is only because he is working on lining up his next victim and has extra time for them now until he does. Having children with these jerks throws a wrench in the splitting peacefully road to take. If he’d act like a normal human being then maybe I could but he’s not normal.
    I can’t believe someone wrote that to you. Cheaters sucks your husband sucks and I hope his ball sag and his dick shrinks. I hope with every bad word and lie he tells about you, his dick shrinks like Pinocchio nose grew. Now that would bring you some peace 👍😂😂😂.

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    1. You better watch it or I’m going to create a meme with that: For every bad word and lie he tells about you, may his dick shrink like Pinocchio’s nose grew! I love it!

      I get it, ifonlymommy. If you look at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs the very first need you need fulfilled is the physiological one: food, water, warmth, rest. Taken another way: shelter, food, clothing. The second one is safety. It’s a little hard to concentrate on much of anything when you don’t have enough money to pay your bills, or you’re working 60-70 hours a week to barely keep your head afloat. I’m fortunate in that I can live with my mom and she helps out, but it’s very humbling to need your mommy when you’re a middle-aged woman yourself. The truth of the matter is I can’t take care of myself and my kids right now and the only reason I’m not homeless and starving is because of my mom.

      I know you’re going through the same thing and I’m sorry. Your ex is a jackass as well.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I love to have my mommy right now! Hug and love yours everyday. I know if mine was still alive she would be so helpful. There’s no shame in taking help when you need it. I’m sure she’s happy to help.

        Just the dick shrinking thing is a good visual. Go ahead with a meme creation ;).

        Like

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