I’m Still Alive

I’ve started my job. It’s not as bad as I thought it would be. I’m tired all the time.

My nightmare became a reality; I slept through my damn alarm clock the first day. I was terrified I wasn’t going to hear that alarm going off at 3:20 in the morning. I even woke up around 2:55 and thought, “Oh, ok, I’ll definitely hear it because it’s going to go off within the next 30 minutes or so.” Nope! What I did hear was the noise my phone makes 10 minutes before a calendar event. I jumped up out of bed, put my clothes on, had a devil of a time trying to get my contacts in and I flew to work. I woke up at 3:50 and left the house at 3:57. I made it in 4 minutes! I had called as I was driving to let the supervisor know I was running late and when I got there he laughed at me and told me that technically I wasn’t even late. I still felt really bad.

I ended up staying until 11 am even though I was scheduled to get out of there at 8:30. The next day I stayed until 1. We got a huge load of Christmas stuff so I stuck around to help.

I had a very long day yesterday and it doesn’t help when your day begins at roughly 3:30 in the morning. After work I came home, watched some TV and then headed to the school to pick up my daughter. She has cheer from 4-6 on Tuesdays. Why they have this gap is beyond me. She gets out at 2:45 and has nowhere to go and no one to hang with so I grabbed her, took her to get a sweet tea, and then we headed over to my sister-in-law’s to hang out for a while instead of going back to the house.

I dropped her off for practice, headed home once again, and reminded Picasso we had a school magnet fair to go around 6. We left to pick Rock Star up from practice early, took her to work and then headed to the fair.

Poor kid is so confused now. He thought he wanted to go to one school and now he’s thinking he might go to the school I suggested. He doesn’t have much more time to make up his mind.

We stopped for milk and also to grab something to eat and went home. By this time it was probably 7:30, 8:00. I ate and watched some more TV and then decided I was going to head off to pick up Rock Star early. She got off at 10 but I figured if I got there early I could doze in the car as opposed to taking the chance I would fall asleep here and not be there to pick her up on time.

Surprise! I did indeed fall asleep in the car while I waited. She drove home and I’m pretty sure I was passed out the entire time. Okay, not the entire time because I remember having a conversation with her about how hungry she was.

Today I was off. I have an open house to go to with Picasso for one of the high schools he’s interested in. Tomorrow I do work and on top of that I have two open houses to attend- one for the second high school and one for scholarship possibilities.

Honestly, I don’t know how people work and raise children. I really don’t. Maybe the difference is I’m not answering phones or working in an office atmosphere but I’m so freaking tired when I get done and then I have to keep going. Hopefully it will get better the longer I do it. I definitely know that Cousinfucker had a dream situation going on. Yes, he may have been the one getting up and going to work every day but he didn’t have to do much of anything beyond that! Plus, I distinctly remember him telling me a few years ago that Angry Birds and then Candy Crush took up a huge amount of his time while he was at work. It’s good to be the boss, I suppose. After his full day of playing games he got to come home to a wife that fed him, washed and put away his clothes, did all the shopping and took care of the house, the pets, and his kids. He wasn’t taking kids to hockey or gymnastics or high school magnet fairs. He came home, ate, and watched TV.

Now he’s not working. I am. My job is a hell of a lot more strenuous and doesn’t pay even a fraction of what his did. I still don’t get any help with the kids. He’s still not doing a damn thing for them. Sounds about right.

I need to clean the house so it’s shiny and bright for my mom when she gets home on Friday. Plus, I have laundry to do.

There is a big hiring event coming up on the 12th for a grocery store. Sadly, I am hoping that I will get hired on as a cashier, possibly even full-time, making $12/hour.

That’s it. That’s what I’ve been up to. Nothing exciting.

11 thoughts on “I’m Still Alive

  1. You’re a super hero mom to me. I don’t have kids, and I find life demanding. I have nothing but respect for the mom’s out there — you guys kick ass. Sending some serious hugs your way.


    1. Thank you. I’m hoping I’ll get used to it. I tell myself that 6-7 hours of sleep should be enough. It’s what I’m used to for the most part. If I had to get up at 7 and didn’t go to bed until sometime around midnight or 1, then what’s the difference here, right?


  2. You are a strong and remarkable woman. Unstoppable! Admirable.
    Your story is heartbreaking, but you are an overcomer, you’re a fighter, it’s there in all your posts. Better and sweeter things are coming your way. You will make them happen!

    Liked by 1 person

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