Dealing Gracefully With Infidelity (What a Load of Bullshit!)

Have you seen the article going around on Facebook about the revenge some betrayed spouses/girlfriends took? I’m pretty sure that all of them were very public outings of the cheater. Rented billboards. Yard sales with huge signs about everything being free because he’s a cheater. Writing on truck windows. Banners hung from porches or staked in the yard. The occasional graffiti job on a beloved vehicle. An ad in the paper congratulating the cheating husband and his mistress on their pregnancy. One person even did a treasure hunt.

I like to read the comments because I’m always amazed at the people who think the best thing to do is say nothing and to never take any kind of revenge. They call them crazy, say it’s no wonder they were cheated on, tsk tsk at the idea of airing their dirty laundry, etc. Of course, the number one comment seems to be that the best revenge is living well.

I think that’s all a load of bullshit. I’m tired of being told to keep my mouth shut. I’m tired of hearing someone shamed because they finally got fed up with their cheater and let the world know what they’ve been up to.

Why is telling everyone what they’ve done so bad? It’s not like the cheaters are ashamed of what they’re doing! I’m sure if you asked them they would tell you they are doing absolutely nothing wrong and they are entitled to this happiness. So what’s the big deal? Say it loud and say it proud! This is my whore and I love her! I left my wife and kids for this walking piece of shit! Isn’t she precious? Wouldn’t you abandon your family for her, too?

It’s another way to keep us in our place. Don’t say anything. Smile. Get on with your life. Don’t be bitter. Don’t talk about it. Don’t air your dirty laundry; what happened between the two of you is best kept between you two. Silence is golden. If you out him (or her) you’ll just make yourself look bad. Don’t talk badly about the cheater; you’ll look crazy. The best revenge is living well. Is it? I kinda think the best revenge would be watching the cheater’s life fall completely apart. Or attending his funeral and finding out there’s a million dollar life insurance policy on him which I get to collect on!

I say speak up! Don’t stay silent. That’s what cheaters count on. They count on everyone around you shaming you into silence. They count on you appearing as the crazy one when you out them. They get to skip merrily along, living their fraudulent lives, telling lies, fucking whores and you’re just supposed to sit there and smile. Keep their dirty little secrets. Well, no more!

We don’t owe it to them to be their PR agents. We don’t owe it to them to shut up. It’s time we stop letting them write the narrative. Stand up and tell people what they’ve done. Don’t let people bully you into silence.

They want us to stay quiet because the truth is uncomfortable. Being friends with someone who is chasing happiness doesn’t sound like a bad thing. Being friends with someone who has abandoned his wife and kids doesn’t sound as nice. Telling yourself that someone deserved to get cheated on because he or she is obviously crazy because, gee, look at how he or she talks about the ex, means that you’ll never get cheated on so long as you don’t act like that. If they allow you to tell your story, all of it with all the dirty details and all the horror of what you actually experienced, then it’s not as easy to whitewash infidelity and act like it’s no big deal, or something that is between the couple. Cheating is not some minor issue. It is brutal. It destroys families. It can be financially devastating. It sometimes leaves kids without a parent. It alters lives. There is nothing pretty or simple about adultery but as long as you don’t air your dirty laundry no one has to know that. I would go so far as to say some of those people are simply jealous because they didn’t have the guts to do something as creative or as bold when someone broke their heart.

I haven’t taken on any shame for being cheated on. He did it, not me. He’s the one with crappy character and entitlement issues. While I’ve privately told people what he’s done- my family, my friends, my closer friends on Facebook, right now I’m not taking my own advice because I’m sure I will have a court date sometime in the near future. I don’t want to give him any public ammunition. But after the court hearing, when the divorce is final? Oh, I plan to sing like a canary. And anyone who doesn’t like it can kiss my ass!

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5 thoughts on “Dealing Gracefully With Infidelity (What a Load of Bullshit!)

  1. Yes I’ve seen a lot like this on Facebook and cheating is something that cannot be tolerated since it can ruin your relationship with your wife / husband as well as your children. It’s sad hearing things like this and I don’t know why do people keep on engaging with such activities.

    There are also stories from real people similar to this one and you can check it here;

    //percolate.blogtalkradio.com/offsiteplayer?hostId=808957&episodeId=8834171

    Like

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