This is actually a bit of a misnomer seeing as how we moved a few entries ago. I wanted to differentiate though because this was supposed to be the fresh start. This was supposed to make him happy and all of our troubles were supposed to go away.
These Blasts From the Past don’t seem to be read as much as my other stuff but if you’ve read this far and you’re one of those who normally skip over anything from my past I will tell you that from this point forward most of my musings are much more philosophical. They are more like normal blog entries would be. I examine what it means to move forward after adultery rocks your marriage. I apparently didn’t do a very good job because he cheated on me again.
The other thing I would point out is the irony surrounding everything I wrote back then. It is stunning everything I endured and put up with while trying to right this wreck.
If you choose to read these next Blasts From the Past you will get to come along on my journey through Hell while my husband slowly spiraled out of control and I kept trying to hold everything together.
My one year anti-versary came and went. The house was full of family and I was busy unpacking so I didn’t dwell on it. The whore didn’t contact me. I have to say I’m a bit surprised but she may be too busy wrecking someone else’s life to remember to contact me and let me know what a great love they shared.
My husband is not doing well. His anxiety is terrible. He worries that he has ruined all of our lives. Makes it hard for me to throw a tantrum and cry and tell him how much I hate it here. And I just keep thinking, “You’d better get it together. We moved because you said you were miserable and wanted to be closer to your family. This new town reminded you of your home state. So get with the program. You could have been miserable out in our former state and I would have been perfectly happy. No use in both of us being miserable. Get help!” It’s so frustrating. And I always start to wonder if he’s so anxious because he’s starting to crack under the pressure of carrying on his double life with Harley. I know. I shouldn’t. But I do. I don’t know if that will ever go away. I hope it does.
I’ve been busy buying new furniture. I bought a pie safe. Yeah, I know. What the hell is a pie safe? Whatever it is it was $800! That will go in the dining room. I spent almost $200 on bar stools, $150 on a cabinet for the laundry room, and just over $5000 on new furniture for the family room and formal living room. New sectional, coffee table, end table, sofa table, couch, and chair. And then I turned around and spent $1000 at Target. It was about half new tv and half back to school supplies and clothes, although there was a new trash can and two floor mats in there as well. I got tired of going out for stuff we needed for the house.
Present Day Sam Says: I look back on all of this and I am just amazed at how naive I am in these posts. I’m going out blithely spending money to decorate and furnish our new home. I had no idea that a year later everything would fall completely apart.
Always spackling as well. Poor Cousinfucker isn’t doing well but I can’t let him know my true feelings because it might upset him. Let’s continue to give him the benefit of the doubt. We can’t continue to “punish” the poor dear. He’s so helpless and anxiety ridden.