My Bitch List, Part 11

More recent gripes for this one. Keep in mind I compiled this list mainly while he was still living at the house so I used the present tense. Most of the stuff on this list is simply gross. It’s stuff he refused to do while we were away (or sometimes even while we were here). It speaks to his lack of respect for me and for our family.

    • Since we moved to our new home he has not once taken out the trash.  Petty complaint?  Perhaps, but this is my Festivus Airing of Grievances and this pisses me off!
    • I don’t think he’s mowed the yard in 6 months.  I was out there mowing over Memorial Day weekend because of his “anxiety issues”.  Our son mowed it on a couple of occasions as well.  We were gone for 3 1/2 weeks this summer.  He didn’t mow a single time.  I came back to a yard that was overgrown with weeds and grass that was sky high.  I ended up hiring two guys to do the yard work because he wouldn’t.  I thought I was being nice and respectful of his “issues” but in reality I think he had already checked out of the marriage and figured there was no purpose in doing anything around the house. ETA: I wrote this shortly after I found out about him and Harley, sometime in late 2015, maybe early 2016, so the timeline is off. Regardless, the last time he visited the house, he loaded up the lawn mower and refused to mow, yet again. Just one more way he has totally given up on the house and believes it’s not his responsibility.
    • When we got home the house reeked.  Every time I leave I make sure the house is clean and the laundry is done.  I also usually make sure there is food for him to eat.  When he’s away I try to have the house picked up when he comes back.  He didn’t feel the need to do that for us.  I spent the next two days shampooing carpets from where the dogs had had accidents.
    • He also never took the garbage out to the curb the entire time we were gone.  I took TEN bags of trash out on trash day after we got home.
    • I found out he had been playing me all summer long while he conducted an affair with his skank of a cousin two years ago.  I’m thinking we’re working on our relationship; I’m hard at work trying to “win” him back, and the whole time he’s messing around with her, planning for their future.  Then he has the audacity to be upset with me for not getting over it quickly enough.  How dare I dwell on that?  He said it was over.  He said he picked me.  He said he loved me.
    • When his affair was discovered the first time around one of the things he told me he had liked about her was how she texted him all the time and told him everything she was doing.  He wanted me to do that.  So, despite the fact that I felt like he was trying to turn me into her I dutifully texted him and told him all about my boring day.
    • Looking back on it, as a whole, he had a whole lot of demands for me on how I could improve our relationship after his affair.  I didn’t have very many for him:  send the whore a text ending it and stop talking to the whore, stop telling your sister about our marital issues, give me all your passwords, and go to marital counseling.  He participated half-heartedly in counseling; even the counselor said there was no point in him continuing.  He never sent her a text; he supposedly called her and ended it and then she sent him a sappy text which he replied to, speaking of duty and honor.  He gave me his passwords but once he started up his affair again he began sleeping with his phone.  And, of course, he never stopped talking about our marital issues with his sister.  But his list for me?  Oh, where do I begin?  Text me all the time.  Send me naughty pictures.  Let me know where you are all day long.  Sit with me.  Have sex with me all the time.  Come sit out on the porch and watch me while I mow the yard, maybe even bring me a glass of iced tea.  Hey, do you have any more ways I can kiss your ass, Cousinfucker?  Because really, when you step out on ME I think the least I can do is find out what I did to cause that and work on every problem I might have.  There is nothing wrong with you!
    • He was always very concerned about hurting his whore’s feelings but didn’t really mind hurting me.  The text I asked him to send turned into a phone call which later turned into a text that she sent to him.  That text was pathetic and it very much sounded like *she* was the one calling it off while he whimpered and whined and talked about things he doesn’t understand like honor and duty, being a good husband and a good dad.  When questioned about it he said it was because he felt bad about hurting her and didn’t want to cause her anymore pain.  Yes, it was more important to make sure that the whore he had texted and sexted with for 3 1/2 months was in a good place, than to insure that the wife of 18 1/2 years was in a good place.
    • Once or twice after answering my questions about Harley and their relationship he thanked me for ruining his hard-on. Yes, dear, that’s what I’m really concerned about- your hard-on. Let’s forget about this whole EA thing and I’ll just text you dirty things and naughty pictures and we can pretend this never happened.
    • He was very good at manipulating me.  As I said, I didn’t want him discussing our marital issues with his sister because I didn’t feel she was a friend of our marriage.  And she’s not.  But, he turns this into, “I can’t have a relationship with her because you don’t like her.”  Um, no, that’s not what I asked for at all.  Talk with her about anything else.  Just NOT our marital issues.  When he wanted to move here instead of saying that it was, “I know you don’t want to move.  I’ll learn to like it here.  You and the kids are happy.”  That way it could be ME saying, “Oh, baby, no!  We want all of us to be happy!  You are important.  You matter.  We’ll move if you’re so unhappy here!”  Motherfucker!  And even in our talks about his affair I think when things got to be too real for him he would start in on his “woe is me” stories- he had no father, his dad didn’t love him, his family doesn’t care about him, he’s worthless, why would I ever love him.  It was all a very subtle way to have me dance for him and stroke his ego.
    • He says that I ignored him and left him alone to cry, but the reality is he would have been perfectly content to have me sit upstairs in the fucking bedroom all day long, every day, and to hell with the kids.  Sorry, kids, you’re teens (or almost teens) now so you need to take care of yourselves.  Mommy can’t drive you anywhere because I have to hang out with Daddy upstairs in the bedroom.  I also can’t help you with homework, cook your meals, or do your laundry because Daddy needs me.  I would ask him to sit with me out on the porch.  He couldn’t do it.  He had to go back inside.  I would ask him to come downstairs and watch tv in the family room so we could be together while I cooked.  Nope, he just wasn’t comfortable with that.  One time I asked him if he wanted to come out to our enclosed porch in the back.  No, again he just really needed to be upstairs in the bedroom.  Our bedroom and the shower were the only places he really felt comfortable.  Let’s praise Jesus once again; He performed a miracle in my husband!
    • He is a liar.  I remember when we first got married he would joke about how his mom would exaggerate stories.  He said, “By the time we’ve been married for ten years we will have had a full orchestra at our wedding with a steak and lobster dinner!”  The apple does not fall far from the tree!  He told someone our daughter won the entire meet when she competed out of state.  Not true.  Not even close.  Then, he told a Ranger who came to speak at a church we visited that he was a Ranger, too!  Again, not true.  Now, his original tale was he was going to go to Ranger school but then he was deployed to Iraq and missed his chance.  His current day tale is that he took all the classes; he just didn’t do the field training so basically “he’s a Ranger”.  Basically, you’re a liar, Cousinfucker.  He told someone we hadn’t had sex in TEN YEARS!  But I think my favorite one was when he told someone that I had filed for divorce and he had no idea why.  REALLY?  What did you think was going to happen when I found out about Harley?  Was I supposed to beg and plead again?  Was I supposed to wait it out until YOU could file?  You’re such a big chicken shit you never would have filed.  You were always going to leave it up to me, you (thank you Chump Princess over on Chump Lady) worthless flaming turd shot straight out of Satan’s ass!
    • I know I’ve already listed all the lies he told people about me.  I probably shouldn’t be surprised but I still shake my head when I think of how he never went back and corrected his mistakes.  Ever.  He would tell some awful bullshit story, make me seem like the Marquis de Sade and then turn around and tell me how I was his rock, his savior, his soul mate (barf!), and yet he never corrected the erroneous story he told.  I guess that’s what liars do.
    • Fast forward to this year.  I found out he was playing me all summer long (once again!), acting like he had all sorts of issues when the only issue he had was he was married but sticking it to his gold digging whore of a cousin.
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