Missing the Affair Partner

September 2014

This is what I was going to write about in my last entry before I got off on my tangent. These other blogs. Every now and then you’ll get comments from the cheating spouses and they talk about how much they miss their affair partner. I asked Zack once, around a month after he ended it, if he missed her. He said he did, but it was more that he missed talking about that side of the family. If he were still mooning over her I’d have left. I know by late October he was calling her a midlife crisis and said he should have bought a motorcycle. I have to say the one thing I am definitely proud of was my insistence that I deserved to be happy too; I deserved to be with someone who loved me. If that wasn’t him then he could leave and go be with his whore.

To all of you jackasses out there mooning over your whore go to her (or him). Get the fuck out and go be with your lying, cheating soul mate. Do you really think you’re doing your spouse a favor, wasting their time while you pine for someone else?

One of them was going on and on about his gorgeous 23 year old whore. She was half his age and the best sex he’d ever had. So go to her! Find out what living with her 24/7 is like. See if you think she’s so wonderful when her only job is no longer sucking your dick. See how eager she is to ride your dick all night long when she is expected to clean your house, cook your meals, do your laundry, run errands for you, look after you while you’re sick. How are you going to deal with it when all you want to do is bang your hot little girlfriend but your kids are over and they get sick in the middle of the night? And what happens if the baby whore doesn’t want to take care of you? She’s pretty. Everyone wants her. You may end up doing all those things your wife used to do for you. Sex goddesses don’t clean up after men. They don’t cook or do laundry. And they certainly don’t take a backseat to some other woman’s children. You may have to say goodbye to your children in order to hang on to your baby whore. But, hey, she’s young. She can pop out a few replacement babies for you. In the next few years. Won’t that be fantastic? You’ll be a 50 year father to a newborn. 72 when that kid graduates from college. Your friends are experiencing freedom because their children are teens or older and you need to get back home to your baby whore because you have an infant. Your friends aren’t quite so envious now, are they? You have to say no to weekends away and adult activities, and your sexy gorgeous baby whore is now tired, potentially fat, and focused on her newborn instead of sucking your dick and riding your penis all night long. Meanwhile, your kids that you ditched hate you and have nothing to do with you, and your ex… Well, she’s older, wiser, and now that her kids are older and more independent she and her new husband have plenty of time for weekend getaways, traveling, and couple time. Now that she’s in a relationship where she’s loved and cherished and isn’t constantly being compared to your baby whore she’s happy, healthy, and having lots of sex. She and her husband are the ones that watched or will watch your kids graduate from high school and college. They’re the ones going on vacation with them and sharing their lives with them. They are the ones your kids will turn to when they need help. You’ve lost everything and for what? It won’t be long until you’re looking for your new baby whore.

Present Day Sam Says: I know this is very similar to Just Go. Sorry.

It still amazes me how cheaters expect sympathy because they’re missing the whore. It still amazes me that so many of them think the whore is their soul mate.

No matter how many of them think they know what life will be like with their affair partner 24/7, no matter how many of them say, “It’s more than just sex. We have a connection!”, it’s still a fantasy.

I read on another website that an affair partner usually meets about 10% of the cheating spouse’s needs. 10%! The spouse fills the other 90%. What’s going to happen when the affair partner has to go from meeting 10% to 100% of the cheater’s needs?

I say it’s not real life because it isn’t. Affairs are dirty secrets. They’re hidden. They’re sneaky and furtive. People think they know how life will be because they think they’re working, taking care of kids, and doing the daily grind with the affair partner. Only they’re not. The spouse is generally there picking up all the slack while the two cheaters sneak away- free of all obligations except their yearning loins.

Seriously, cheaters, if you think the whore is your true love I’m begging you- leave your spouse and marry the whore! And then please blog about it. I would love to hear how everything is going one or two or five years down the line.  Please! Go fulfill your dreams!

14 thoughts on “Missing the Affair Partner

  1. once again Sam you have nailed it – I found this site a long time ago – I’ve been reading blogs since 1998 lol but anyway I digress – he did leave his wife and they are together but unfortunately she doesn’t update much on the sugarfree blog but thought you might like to read this for shits and giggles lol

    https://thelovelymissb.wordpress.com/ (during the affair)

    https://missbissugarfree.wordpress.com/ (after they became legit)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I found this very therapeutic! A few years ago, I felt this way about “the other woman” as well; she’s a whore. Truth be told, you really don’t know that. You won’t have the capacity to accept it yet, but not every “other woman” is a whore. You won’t agree and that’s okay. I’ve been there and I 100% understand and a post like this one(mine) would have made me roll over laughing! There’s also a side of your partner that you’ll never understand or know about. Men are very unlikely to be open about their true feelings about their affair. I know, I know, you’ve managed to squeeze the truth out of him because he’s 1 in a million and different from most men. I won’t force the possibility that he’ll never tell you if he ever misses the affair or not (I said affair, not affair partner). Truth be told, though, many people don’t miss the affair partner, whatsoever, but can miss elements of the affair (affection, love, touch, conversation, appreciation, intimacy) And no, i don’t mean sex (sex has little or nothing to do with it unless you have a jerk or sex addict). I don’t miss my affair partner at all. Once the fog lifted he was easy to get over and see clearly. The blogs or posts you are reading about missing affair partners are from people still in the fog, so stop reading them; they aren’t real emotions yet. And when you call everyone a whore you sound silly and people will get nothing from your speech. Why? Because you’re still with your whore! See? If your partner is still a good person at his core, then it’s very likely that these whores you speak of are, too. It’s never made sense to judge the other person because they are/were most likely just as messy and screwed up as your partner is/was. Anyway, these are just words you are reading that are probably meaningless to you and quickly written off, but some day you will change your mind and see that not everyone who messes up is pure evil. Trust me, one day you’ll be a lot less critical of people and happiness will follow. You won’t harbour such anger towards cheaters because you’ll feel sorry for them instead. After all, it’s quite sad when someone feels so utterly lost and alone that they turn on their own morals and integrity and on the people they love(d). Think about it.


    1. Kate, you must have not have read much of my blog. First, I do know she’s a whore. She’s been paid tens of thousands of dollars. That is, by definition, a whore. Regardless of whether or not every “other woman” fits the dictionary definition of whore they are all doing something wrong. If some woman can go fuck another woman’s husband and nobody is supposed to say, “Boo!” then you can get off my ass about calling her a whore. Secondly, no, I don’t think my husband is special. I didn’t pry every detail out of him. I don’t think he’s 1 in a million or different from every other man. Hell, I actually hope that’s true because I think he’s an entitled, narcissistic ass fart and I don’t want that to be true of every man out there. I’m also not “still with ‘my whore'”. In fact, I’m almost divorced from his cheating ass. Just waiting for the final papers.

      I also don’t think that everyone who cheats is pure evil. I’ve never said that. I think some of the people who do so are. But I think they are all wrong in what they are choosing to do. Fix your relationship or get out, but don’t cheat.

      Finally, I am plenty happy right now. It’s amazing what dumping a cheating liar can do for the soul! I still know right from wrong and no amount of happiness is ever going to make me believe that cheating on your spouse is okay.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I was what you refer to as the whore. You are wrong. I didn’t know he had someone at home. He spent every evening and night with me and my child. He spent every holiday with us, and every weekend, he really only went home to sleep. We ran errands together, did everything together as a real couple. I was not a secret to anyone but her. Everyone we knew in work and out knew about us and no one knew about the woman he had at home. I cooked every night and did laundry. We cleaned and did household things together. Grocery shopping and everyday chores were done together. We talked about our future and I never would have imagined I wasn’t the only woman in his life. Not all of the other woman are whores and not all are secrets. Not all are just fantasy. Some know and already live real lives with all of the ups and downs and cooking and chores. Repairs to homes and cars. Painting the house, mowing the lawn, taking out the trash. Real life things, no different than at home. Caring for kids and sporting events, practices and such. They know what real life is with them and still love and want them daily. Fooling yourself into thinking it’s meaningless is actually quite pathetic. You most likely will never measure up to the so called whore and that’s why he has stayed with her for so many years. He doesn’t leave entirely because of his kids and finances but he clearly doesn’t spend his time there because he doesn’t want to be there. You are bitter and hurt because the man you love choose to love someone else. It hurts but pointing the finger at someone else just makes you look desperate and pathetic.


    1. Well bless your heart. You are just cute as a button. You’re a bit late to the party though. The entry you’re commenting on? That was written 6 years ago. Also? Not written about me or my cheating ex.

      If you didn’t know he was married then you were lied to just as much as his wife. Wow- what a winner you snared. But from the sounds of your name it sure seems like once you found out you didn’t care one bit that he was married.

      You know, you’re the third person who has engaged in an affair and has found your panties in a bunch over this. For the life of me I cannot figure out why. I’m *encouraging* your lying, cheating lover to *leave* his wife and go be with you. I mean, you are the love of his life, right? So much better than his wife. I would think that would make you ecstatic. I’m telling those cheaters who are pining away for you to shit or get off the pot. Go get her! Stop wasting your time and energy, and that of your spouse, and go be with the one you love. And yet each of you have acted as if this is the most horrendous advice in the world. Is it inconceivable to you that someone might not want their spouse to waste their life by pining away for their one true love? Does it never occur to you that perhaps they would prefer to give their love and attention to a person who reciprocates, instead of someone who uses them and discards them, or pines for someone else? Or is just the fact that it’s not a lot of fun to “take” something from someone when that person no longer cares about whatever it is you’re trying to take? Oh no! How can I enjoy my sparkly turd if no else wants it? Maybe it’s the reality that if he has permission to leave his wife, no, is actually encouraged to leave his wife, and he still doesn’t… well then, what does that say about you and how fabulous you are?

      As for never measuring up to the whore… well, I’d have to gain about 100 pounds, get arrested at least 3 times, send naked pictures to my neighbor, cheat on my husband, discard my children, and cheat on my cheating lover with my estranged husband to even get into the same ballpark. No thank you; I’ll pass.

      Please retire your “bitter and hurt” schtick. It doesn’t work with me. She’s welcome to him. I kicked his ass to the curb when I found out what was going on. As he was proudly showing off his hard on to me, I was making plans to see a lawyer to divorce him. She can deal with his meltdowns, his mood swings, his ability to blow everything out of proportion, and his inability to socialize with others or go anywhere or do anything.

      Thanks to his wandering dick I met the love of my life and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. As an added bonus for the first time in twenty years I’m having amazing sex. Bitter and hurt? Pfft… please; I should send her a thank you note. I won’t, but I should.

      Liked by 2 people

    2. Ha ha ha
      I had to comment, sorry Sam.
      The term whore is irrelevant.
      You have gotten yourself a liar and a cheater. If his wife is the only one who doesn’t know that, I feel deeply for her. I hope someone tells her so she can divorce him and ensure to get her half of all the marital assets, especially the money he is spending on you.

      Expect him to find a new side piece in the future if he ever leaves his wife. In fact, you are most likely just one of a number of female distractions for him.

      You are nothing special and your continued relationship has no silver lining.


  4. Sorr notsorry someone doth protest to much lol I think this entry must have hit a sore spot.

    I think maybe you are starting to realize who you really have and not who you thought you had – better wake up before you find out you became what you thought she was lol


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s