Wow! This so perfectly sums up my in-laws.
I think a lot of cheaters want to proceed in a way that’s “cordial” because it allows them the delusion that this wasn’t such a big deal. “See? We’re all friends…” rather than acknowledging just how devastating and long-reaching the consequences of betrayal are.
Obviously they’re not the cheaters but it does explain their reluctance to cut off the head of the snake. If they do that then they’re acknowledging what they both did was wrong. Now the fact that one is immediate family and one is not would lead naturally to them not ousting their immediate family. And if they did do anything wrong then that means the cheating partner needs to go. But, if everyone remains cordial, they buy fundraiser items from one another, they compliment each other and tell each other how much they love one another, if they just act like it’s no big deal then they never have to acknowledge that what the two of them did was wrong. They can ignore the fact that a marriage almost ended because of it, that my kids’ lives were almost thrown into turmoil. They can pretend it didn’t hurt me. They don’t have to acknowledge the deceit and humiliation these two put me through. They can ignore the fact he was telling everyone she made him happy and he wanted to marry her. They can ignore the fact they were planning on getting together the weekend of Jezebel’s wedding or that she was planning on getting a permanent fucking tattoo to symbolize their love. They can ignore the many ways she tried to tell me about their affair in the hopes we would divorce and he would be free to be with her. They can ignore her behavior towards her husband when he found out. Ah yes, what a lovely woman she is. I’m not going to do anything about the fact my husband knows I’m in love with you and planning to marry you. I don’t care!
If they can ignore all of that then they don’t have to acknowledge the seriousness of their affair. They don’t have to acknowledge the pain they caused or how fucking wrong it was.
Again, Zack is immediate family. They’ll keep him no matter what. But to keep her around it means they have to pretend nothing wrong happened, or they are all labeled sociopaths.
Present Day Sam Says: And then they do one better and call up the whore and suggest she call Pookie because he’s so sad. They didn’t refuse to cut off contact because “she’s family!” They didn’t cut off contact because they were hedging their bets. Will their marriage survive? If not we don’t want to get on his bad side and have him think we don’t support his relationship with the whore! I think they were all rooting for us to divorce and for the two of them to get together. They sure as shit weren’t supporting us!