The Joys of Reconciliation

October 2014

His anxiety is worse than ever. He started taking meds for it almost a week ago now. Some days I wonder if he’s so anxious because he never stopped having the affair. Some days I wonder if he’s so anxious because he got in touch with her again, or he’s carrying on with someone else now. The only thing I have to compare it to is the day he was in the tub, before he half heartedly confessed. He was a wreck. But once he started it up again I was never able to tell. I guess here’s to hoping he just has mental health issues.

It also makes me nervous that he’s no longer texting me during the day. That’s stopped within the last week. He didn’t text me a lot when he was messing with Harley because he was too busy texting and sexting with her. So I’m left wondering if he’s texting her again, or if he’s found a new soul mate. Maybe Danielle. I know he deleted all their conversations off his phone. I’d like to believe he did it because I mentioned to him that she sure texts him a lot so he was trying to appease me. Past behavior would suggest he’s saving his ass.

I swear if he’s fucking around on me again I will leave him. I’ll take the kids and move away. I will take everything and what I don’t take I will destroy. True fucking story.

Present Day Sam Says: I think the title says it all.

Maybe he was already messing around with Harley. Maybe he had never stopped. Maybe he was anxiety ridden because Blockhead told him about my FB page. Regardless, this is what I got stuck with. He moves me thousands of miles away from my friends, disrupts my entire life and that of my children, and then I get to stress over what he’s doing and how he’s feeling.

I guess it goes to show that he could never be happy. This was his dream job and yet within weeks he was miserable once again. At least it proves to me that it was never about me. I couldn’t make him happy because nothing makes him happy. It wasn’t me; it was him. He’s a miserable person. And the joke’s on Whore-ley (thank you to whoever coined that termed!) because she’s going to find out sooner or later that she doesn’t make him as happy as she thinks she does. Plus, she’s a whore. She probably won’t care in the end.

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