Bullshit To Be Refuted

I have a board on Pinterest where I collect quotes about unfaithful husbands and lying whoring mistresses. Strangely enough, or perhaps not so strangely, mistresses have their own quotes as well, justifying their bad behavior.

I thought I’d take a stab at refuting some of this bullshit.

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This is the biggest load of shit! Listen you dumbass, people don’t cheat because they’re not getting enough attention. They cheat because they feel entitled to cheat! Cheating is not a relationship problem which is how everyone prefers to frame it. It is a character problem. Cheaters have poor character. They have poor impulse control. They are entitled little babies who whine and whine when they don’t get their way.

If you’re not getting enough attention then use your words! And if you’re sleeping with a married man or woman and use the above to justify your behavior? You better remind yourself to always give that person plenty of attention. When you can’t keep up with the endless chasm that is their neediness they’ll replace you, too. You are not special.

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Silly whore… if our marriage was really as bad as he lied and said it was he should have manned up and divorced me. But since this bullshit makes you feel better about fucking another woman’s husband go ahead and keep telling yourself our marriage was over or beyond fixing.

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OK, this card obviously wasn’t one the other women embraced. And it says what I said above much more concisely.

The next three are in the same vein, refuting the ridiculous excuses that the other woman comes up with to justify her behavior. If I ever find any of this crap from an other man I’ll let you know.

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Oh yeah! You can never get tired of hearing how the wife drove him to cheat, or how she’s a shrew, is abusive, refuses to have sex, spends all his money, treats him like shit… Funny story: One mistress was told by her lying cheater that he and his wife never had sex anymore. Imagine her surprise when the wife became pregnant. I can’t believe he lied to her!

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Oh silly e-card, whores can and do try to justify it. The wife had it coming. She didn’t understand him. She didn’t treat him right. Their marriage was over. It’s okay to fuck a married man as long as he tells you he’s unhappy.

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Bingo! I guess that makes too much sense and might actually involve consequences. Cheaters aren’t big on consequences.

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Just a little disclaimer before I begin… I got this off of Pinterest so none of the names that appear are people I know.

Yeah, I’m really worried about what you are to him. As far as my children go? You are nothing to them. Oh wait! I take that back. You are the ugly, troll faced whore that their father abandoned them for. You’re the dumb bitch that thought announcing on Facebook how lonely you were when your married lover was no longer sharing your bed was a good idea. You’re the horrible person who turned around and blocked my daughter when you realized she could see right through your bullshit. You are nothing more than an evil bitch who has destroyed their lives and taken everything from them.

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I think you’ve got this backwards. Whores don’t get respect. You being the wife of my kid’s father is not something that I need to respect. And honestly? You started fucking my husband while we were still married; you’ve never shown any respect for me.

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I chose this one to refute because I am prettier and better than Harley. I also believe I will be alone for the rest of my life, especially considering I have no interest in dating.

Being alone doesn’t mean you’re less than just like being a pair of lying cheaters who are hooked up doesn’t mean you are more than. I think one of the biggest problems most people have is they bounce from relationship to relationship. They consider a new relationship to be the pinnacle of happiness and they never learn to be happy on their own. It’s funny because those are the people that are doomed to repeat history.

I may never have another serious relationship but I can assure everyone that I am definitely better than Harley the Whore. I don’t fuck married men. That automatically puts me ahead of her.

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Fuck. You. When I got married I changed my name. That became my name. He did not loan it to me. It is mine. In my case I am intending on going back to my maiden name because I don’t want to be associated with his stupid ass; however, if I ultimately end up choosing to keep MY current last name that is my prerogative. I do have two children with that exact same last name currently and I’m sure that many women continue using their married name because it’s easier when you have kids.

Oh, these next few are fun!

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Harley is not an upgrade. No woman who knowingly sleeps with a married man is an upgrade. Ever. I don’t care what she looks like, how much money she makes, how great she is in bed. She will always be a downgrade.

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I’m not sure how the crazy bitch connects these dots. Aren’t they pretty much one and the same? I mean, if he leaves for some skank ass ho didn’t he choose her? I would also imagine that if he was willing to give up his wife for a skank ass ho then he doesn’t want his wife back. So the wife could hate the skank ass ho because her husband left her for SAH and hate her because he doesn’t want the wife back. But it’s almost impossible to hate skank ass ho because the husband doesn’t want her back without also hating her because he left her. Crazy bitch is also dumb apparently.

P.S. My guess is the wife doesn’t want him back. I know I sure as hell don’t want Cousinfucker back. Harley can gloat all she’d like because she doesn’t have a damn thing I want.

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So much for the loving stepmom and caring friend! Now we get to the heart of the matter. Kiss step mommy’s ass because she supplies Daddy with the pussy. If Daddy ever has to choose between pussy and his kids guess who he’s choosing???? Yep, that’s right- pussy wins every time!

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Oh whore, have you never heard of entitled cake eating fuckwits? They like a pussy smorgasbord. You are not special. He’s not with you because he doesn’t want his wife. He’s with you because you provide him with a piece of strange. If he wanted to be with you he wouldn’t still be with his wife. There! Now consider yourself clued in. Of course, you’re such a stupid, desperate bitch you’ll never believe it.

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Wow! Classy all around. Plus proper grammar. It’s your friend.

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Obviously I have never experienced this kind of loyalty from my in-laws but I have heard of it in other cases. Here’s the thing mistresses and subsequent wives: You can control your husband in most cases by throwing fits and making demands. You don’t, however, get to control his family. If they choose to continue a relationship with a long time member of their family then that is their choice. Just because your soul mate tossed her aside doesn’t mean that everyone in his family now must toss her aside as well. Hopefully you’re not fucking the rest of his family so they don’t really care what you think and you certainly don’t get to tell them what to do.

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It’s not funny. It’s reality. When we love someone we overlook a lot. We make excuses. We justify behavior. When that relationship is over and the mask is finally off we have no more need to convince ourselves that the frog is actually Prince Charming.

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Again, no whore is ever an upgrade. And if this isn’t a whore turned wife-tress situation, what self respecting woman looks at herself as an upgrade from another woman? Seriously- how old are you?

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Oh dear God! Do these narcissistic nitwits ever stop with this nonsense? No, when you fuck another woman’s husband YOU ARE A BAD PERSON! You can tell yourself you’re “better”. You can convince yourself that she deserved it. You can call each other soul mates and speak of destiny and fate. The reality is you are a horrible person.

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Yeah, no. They are not equal comparisons. In my case, when I forgave him, I had over 18 years invested with him. She had 3 months. We were not on equal footing. I had a home, children, pets, and an entire life with him. She had promises and future plans. She encroached on MY life. I didn’t encroach on hers. You don’t get to draw parallels between the woman who knowingly inserts herself into someone else’s relationship and the woman who is fighting to keep her family together and to save her marriage.

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Again, no comparison. While I think I would definitely err on the side of dumping his pathetic cheating ass now I can’t and won’t fault any woman who wants to fight for her marriage. No, the side piece of a few months does not get the same kind of recognition as the wife of many years.

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Another parallel that I hate. I have a theory. When you choose to reconcile your anger and hatred needs to go somewhere. She is a safe target for that hatred. Plus, chances are she’s never going to actually experience your wrath. Hell, Harley has remained unscathed completely through both affairs with my husband.

It’s difficult to claim you love someone while at the same time screaming at them and spewing out vile words. I also think that in cases where real reconciliation can take place that those venomous words do fly. It’s when you subconsciously realize that the cheater won’t ever be able to take it that you temper your words. So, the other woman becomes an easy target.

I’ll also say that the relationships are different. The other woman is often nobody to the wife. Maybe she knows her, but it’s generally in passing. She’s a work colleague. She’s somebody he knows from the bar or soccer or the co-ed softball team and the wife knows of her, maybe has met her once or twice, but they don’t hang out. They aren’t friends. She doesn’t usually go out of her way to apologize for her behavior. She’s nobody to the wife except the bitch that fucked her husband and isn’t one bit sorry about it.

On the other hand, the husband lives with her. Maybe he’s apologized. Maybe he’s agonizing over what he’s put her through. He’s taken the brunt of her anger. He’s listened to her and she’s yelled and screamed. And at the end of the day she lives with him. Perhaps even still loves him.

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That’s so profound. Golly, now that I know he CHOSE to wreck our home with Harley I’ll no longer call her a home wrecker. Because…. why exactly? Is the point supposed to be that if he chose to fuck around with her she must be something special? We all know that’s not true. Just more bullshit from cheaters and their whores.

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Yes, because divorce means never having to pay child support. These really piss me off. I’m working my ass off and I’m still barely making enough money to pay for everything that needs to be paid for. I’m entitled to child support. You don’t get to go off and fuck someone else and then just stop providing for your children because you’ve decided you want a new life.

Even when I wasn’t “working” I was still raising children. I was still paying bills. I was still doing things. I was still there for my kids. If I could make it work on what I received from child and spousal support without working outside of the home then so be it.

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How charming! Yes, keep hitting them while they’re down. As for me I prefer: The worst day without my lying cheating shit eating chimp is still better than the best day with him.

 

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Three more examples of bullshit. Again, how old are these women? I’m thinking with the way they act they are much too young to be getting married! The ex-wife must be pyscho, ugly, a bad mom, fat, and bad in bed? Oh of course! Because your soul mate would never cheat simply because he’s a lying cheater! It must be because of all the ex’s faults! And the new vagina is always an upgrade. Because nothing says classy like referring to yourself as the upgrade or snarking about how the betrayed spouse obviously had nothing to offer to a good man. Hey, little tip: Good men don’t cheat.

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Now we’re back to: I didn’t leave for the affair partner. Honey, if he’s still married while he’s fucking you you are indeed a cheating whore. You’re welcome!

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She’s a manipulative, lying, gold digging whore who has ripped apart their lives… oh but sorry, I don’t often even speak of her, much less badmouth her to my kids.

And that concludes bullshit that must be refuted.

Moms vs. Dads

My apologies to any male readers I may have. This is going to be very general and I readily admit the sample size is extremely limited.

I’ve talked before about a board I read regularly that consists of primarily moms and step moms. One of the things I’ve noticed over the years is that a few of the step moms married men who traveled extensively for work and left the new wife (or not so new wife) in charge of the household and kids. Generally speaking, in most of these cases the mom ran off and basically left dad with the kids. In one instance the youngest kid is a complete mess- defiant, on drugs off and on, doing poorly in school, abuse issues from the mother, probably has some educational issues, as well. And yet, Dad travels and lets stepmom handle it. Stepmom has stepped up to the point where she feels that he is her kid now. This happens to be the situation where Mom originally had custody and Dad fought like hell and spent a small fortune to gain 60% physical custody. It eventually ended up where none of the boys actually spent a weekend or an overnight with their mom. They would go over and visit, or they would have dinner together.

What did the dads in these situations do before they got a new wife? Nannies, I believe. They hired full-time live-in childcare so they could continue to travel for work.

Again, this is a very small sample size- I’m talking probably 3 or 4 instances where Dad travels all the time and the stepmom raises the kids for him.

On the other hand, there were several single moms on that board. They weren’t remarried. They managed to raise their kids with very little outside help. They would frequently mention that they could make more money if they were willing to travel but because they had kids they chose not to. After all, who would watch the kids? The moms seemed to focus more on what kinds of hours they were going to have to work and what kind of a commute they were looking at in order to ensure that they were available for their minor children.

Now I know that there are women out there who work constantly. I know there are women who are more focused on their career than on their kids and who leave the bulk of the caregiving up to their husbands; however, I think it’s much more common the other way around.

If I haven’t been clear, I have two brothers. One of them is divorced and remarried. He works an odd schedule for his main job and he also owns his own business that he works when he’s not working his main job. His main job also requires him to be on site for 24 hours at a time. When he first divorced his wife he desperately wanted his daughter to come live with him. He impressed me with the plans he had, knowing that it was going to take some creative scheduling to make everything work. He was going to hire a local college student to be a sort of nanny for her (his daughter was already 12 at that point so she didn’t need a whole lot of babysitting, just someone to be there and get her where she needed to be). His main job had a schedule of 1 on, 1 off, 1 on, 1 off, 1 on, 3 off so he actually had quite a bit of time off from that position; his second job would allow him to go in after he got his daughter off to school and to be home in the evenings. He was the owner so he made his schedule. And then he got married again. His daughter did come live with him and he turned around and he handed over almost all responsibilities for his daughter to his new wife. He was busy working.

Cousinfucker never had to juggle raising kids with climbing the corporate ladder. I’m not even on a corporate ladder (it’s more like one of those flat walking escalators like you see in airports) but I’m working and raising kids. My schedule is set around my kids and their needs to a certain extent. And if something is going on within those working hours then I have to figure out how to get the kid from Point A to Point B.

I work most Saturdays. It is the one day during the week that I can stay later and pick up a few additional hours since I leave at 7 most mornings. But anytime my daughter needs to be up at the school on a Saturday (and she seems to always need to be up there!) I end up rearranging my schedule. Sometimes I leave at 7. Sometimes 8. Sometimes I make it until 9 or 9:30. I do this because I love her and I feel it’s my responsibility as her mother to get her where she needs to be. I don’t want her missing out on things because I work, but every time I have to leave early it means I miss out on 2-3 hours of additional work.  Granted, it comes out to less than $33 but over the course of a month that adds up.

I’ve often thought about seeing if Jezebel’s discarded Husband #2 could possibly get me a job working at his company but his job requires him to travel. I wouldn’t mind traveling actually but I have two kids to raise. And this isn’t a job where you occasionally travel. It is pretty much Monday-Friday you’re in a different state.

Cousinfucker never had to worry about what was going to happen to the kids when he was away on business. He never had to make arrangements for his annual meeting. He just told me the dates and off he went. I handled everything and he was free to concentrate on impressing the VPs.

I find it interesting that moms tend to concentrate on the kids while dads tend to concentrate on their jobs. I wonder if that’s because we’re so socialized to see men as the providers and women as the nurturers. Nevertheless, it’s disturbing to see so many men so eager to hand over the rearing of their children to their current partner.

Recently a co-worker was telling me about a fight she was having with her husband. His son had messed up and now wanted to go out with friends. Dad’s response? Ask your stepmom. And then he gets upset because he feels like he doesn’t have a voice in his household.

I’m sitting there thinking, “Well, yeah, you’re correct and he should have consequences for what he’s done. But it’s not up to you to impose them; it’s on his father.” I find it amazing that a grown man can’t make parenting decisions about his own child and instead asks his wife, who is not the mother of this child, to make the decision.

I suppose it’s possible that he just didn’t want to be seen as the bad guy. It’s also possible that the kid’s mom is completely out of the picture and my co-worker has stepped up as his other parent. It’s not a model I wish to employ and it’s also one of the reasons I have no desire to date.

I don’t need a man coming in and telling me how to raise my kids. I don’t need a man who has known them for all of five minutes coming in and pointing out all of my mistakes and trying to take the reins. No thank you! I’ve been doing this for sixteen years. I’ve got it.

I know there are women who hand over the reins of control to their new man as well. I don’t want to make it sound like I believe all women are saints who dote on their children and would never put a man before their own offspring. I know that’s not true. Additionally, I know there are some awesome dads out there as well. Ones who change diapers, go to parent-teacher conferences, make dinner and do the day to day tasks. But in just regular everyday situations where everyone is sane it does seem like more males quickly hand over the parenting duties to whichever woman with whom he happens to be living. She concentrates on the day to day tasks associated with raising kids while he concentrates on working and making money.

Saturday Saturday

Every time I type that I hear Elton John singing: Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Regardless, Saturday has been on my mind because I’ve decided it is my favorite day of the week right now. You would think it would be Sunday since I have that entire day off but no- it is actually Saturday.

Saturdays I get up early in the morning, which I HATE but I’m off usually by 9 or 9:30, if not earlier and then I have the rest of the day free. Plus, I don’t have to worry about what time to go to bed because I don’t have to get up the next day. Granted, I’m usually passed out by 8:30, 9:00 but I could stay up until 11 or 12 if I wanted to and I could sleep in the following day.

I usually come home and run Rock Star someplace, but the times she’s not off at an early hour I make breakfast for the three of us. Then I can spend the rest of the day doing whatever. Sometimes it’s catching up on laundry or cleaning the house. Other times it’s going out with J or watching TV or writing some blog entries. It’s almost like not working except I have to get up really early and I get paid a little bit of money.

I like Sundays because I don’t have to get up at 3:20 but later in the afternoon I start to dread everything because I know I’m going to have to get up early the next morning. Add in the fact that the weekend is over and now I’m looking at working both jobs the following day….

There was a short period of time (like two or three weeks) where I would get Sunday and Monday off. That was nice because I still had Saturday mostly free, then I could really enjoy Sunday and Monday was only working one job. But alas the slow period hasn’t been so slow and I’m usually working five days a week at both jobs. I did get a third day off this week- Sunday, Wednesday and Friday. They’re making up for it next week though. We get an additional truck on Wednesday so I’m working Monday-Friday.

Next weekend though I get Saturday AND Sunday off! I haven’t had two consecutive days off since the beginning of February, and that was only so that I could go to court. I don’t count that time period because it was no fun! Before that I couldn’t tell you when I last had two days in a row off.

I will really be enjoying Saturday next week!

Gosh, Just Be Grateful He Picked You!

October 2014

I was reading one of my favorite infidelity websites. Is that an oxymoron or what? The topic was why does he stay? I’ve been honest that I still sometimes wonder if he stayed because of the kids. Hell, for all I know he called her and said, “Baby, I’m all yours!” and she said, “Uh, no thank you.” And that’s when he decided I wasn’t that bad after all. Now, he insists he knew he loved me June 13th when I confronted him. He can’t quite explain why he was such a dick to me then. And of course there’s that little mystery of why, if he knew he loved me and wanted me, he continued his affair with her. He doesn’t have an answer for that.

Anyway, a popular approach to this vexing question seems to be: What does it matter why he picked you? He chose you. Now you can begin to do the hard work of rebuilding your marriage.

Oh yea! That’s exactly what I want to do when I’m the second choice or the choice of convenience. I mean, I get why that advice is there. It sounds sound. Hahaha. I crack myself up. But does that really cut it for most of us? No, we want to know he stayed because he realized he had made a huge mistake and he is madly in love with us. I don’t want to deal with him pining away for her. I don’t want to know he’s constantly wondering, “What if…?” Again, I am probably a cut your nose off to spite your face kinda gal but I wouldn’t want my husband under those conditions. You either want me or you want your whore. If you want me it had better be because you love me and realize what you’re going to lose. If I find out later you’ve chosen me because you don’t want to miss out on your kids’ lives, or a divorce would be too expensive, or you don’t know if you can really bridge that long distance gap or she isn’t ready to leave her husband or, or, or… Then I don’t want you. This crap quickly gets hard and I’m not wading through shit for someone that’s not madly in love with me. I don’t care if the feelings eventually come back. I don’t care if he eventually realizes he’s in love and very happy. I don’t care if the end result is he’s happy and he knows I’m the one for him. He had better feel all that before I agree to work on this marriage with him because agreeing to do so with no guarantee that will happen is just not for me. As I said it’s hard work and I’m not willing to do it for some selfish ass that thinks he’s thrown away his only chance for happiness and is resigned to living a life of misery with me. Or willing to see if he can transform his misery with me into something bearable to withstand another 10 years or so of marriage.

Present Day Sam Says: Yet another lesson to share with you all. If the cheating spouse is trying to figure out which one to pick, is mooning over the other person, and has basically chosen you because it’s the honorable thing to do and their happiness no longer means anything, run. Seriously. Set them free. Cut them loose. It’s not worth it. Plus, you will always be blamed for any problems or unhappiness they are feeling.

In my situation I didn’t even get the ten years. It was less than two and he was out there fucking around with the exact same whore. I’ll give him this much. He played a good game. He was an excellent con man. I sometimes actually believed him when he said he had made a horrible mistake with her and that I was the one he really loved and wanted, and that he wanted his family.

Here we are not quite two and a half years later and he’s living with the whore. He walked out on all of us. He hasn’t set eyes on his kids in over a year. Yep, he really valued all of us.

So folks, if they’re not staying because they realize they have made a huge mistake and they’re willing to spend the rest of their lives making it up to you and they will withstand your anger and your sadness as long as it takes? Get rid of them. It will never be the marriage you deserve.

Judge Not!

I just love cheaters, their cheating partners and all of their apologists. Okay, I don’t. That was a heavy dose of sarcasm. You got me!

I do find it interesting how they are all so much alike. And I love their poor pitiful reaction to being judged. How dare we? People just need to be a little more open minded. Because apparently if you’re open minded you’re fine with people lying and cheating. Oh, you’re probably not okay with them lying to and cheating on YOU but you are very okay with them doing that to someone else.

I find that to be one of the most interesting things that they complain about. It’s almost like lying and cheating aren’t really the problem. The problem is judging liars and cheaters.

Oh you’ve been lying to your wife and cheating on her? That’s no big deal. No judgement here from me. I’m all about being open minded and seeing all the various shades of gray.

What? There are people out there who won’t talk to you anymore because you’re fucking another woman who happens to not be your wife? Your kids won’t have anything to do with you? Your wife refuses to be friends now that you’ve discarded her like yesterday’s trash? Excuse me. I mean now that you’ve set her free to find her own happiness. There are people who tell you that what you’ve done is wrong? How dare they? THAT is so WRONG! How can they judge you? Don’t they realize affairs aren’t black and white? They are all sorts of shades of gray. In fact, life is gray. That’s why you’re so unhappy and need to cheat on your wife. Because cheating and lying make you happy and you deserve to be happy. And your wife probably deserved to be cheated on. Look at her behavior upon finding out the truth. She won’t be friends with you! There is definitely something wrong with that woman! I can’t believe there are people out there that still believe cheating on your spouse is wrong. Don’t they realize there are all sorts of REASONS a person might cheat? Seriously! If you have a really good reason then it’s okay!

Yes, folks, the problem isn’t with the people who lie to and cheat on their spouses. No, the problem is with the people who have the audacity to tell those people that they are doing something wrong and they are not good people. Those are the real villains and cheaters and their apologists will never forget to remind you of that.

If I Ruled the World

If I ruled the world… well… it probably wouldn’t be a very safe place. So let’s just put me in charge of the family court system.

If I had my way cheating would still count for something during a divorce.

If I had my way those who cheat would forfeit everything. They would forfeit their assets and take on all the debts. They would lose custody of their kids. The house and everything in it would go to the betrayed spouse. Hey, you cheaters want a fresh start with the love of your life, right? So leave everything behind and start that great new life with your soul mate. Start from scratch!

If I had my way cheating husbands would pay a generous amount of alimony for the rest of their lives. No point in making your wife and kids reduce their standard of living because you can’t keep your dick in your pants. And cheating wives? No alimony for you, honey. No, that whole forfeiture of assets I was talking about earlier? Yeah, that applies to you. You leave the house with nothing.

And the people who knowingly fuck a married man or woman? I think they should be legally required to help pay for their true love’s obligations, like child and spousal support. Under this new law where the cheaters get no assets, only debts, the cheater’s partner gets to take on those debts as well. It’s true love! Surely you don’t mind. What’s a little poverty when true love is on the line? Being together is gift enough.

Honestly, if I ruled the world I wouldn’t be opposed to the death penalty for cheating. Okay, maybe that’s a little too harsh. Perhaps just public shaming. I sense a renaissance for the stockades. But here’s a crazy idea.

Maybe, if cheating actually led to some fairly dire consequences you would see fewer of these poor people forced into having affairs because they are so unhappy at home with their terrible marriages to horrible women (or men). Maybe some of those pathetic sad sacks who justify fucking other women because of their wife’s shortcomings would finally get the balls to either repair their marriage or file for a fucking divorce. As it stands now cheating pays off. There are no consequences. They lose nothing- no custody, no assets. And when the divorce finally does come the cheater is all set with a brand new fuck buddy and a whole new life along with a slew of idiots telling him or her how fantastic it is that they found love. I guess if you roll around in the mud long enough you’re bound to find something.

The Joys of Reconciliation

October 2014

His anxiety is worse than ever. He started taking meds for it almost a week ago now. Some days I wonder if he’s so anxious because he never stopped having the affair. Some days I wonder if he’s so anxious because he got in touch with her again, or he’s carrying on with someone else now. The only thing I have to compare it to is the day he was in the tub, before he half heartedly confessed. He was a wreck. But once he started it up again I was never able to tell. I guess here’s to hoping he just has mental health issues.

It also makes me nervous that he’s no longer texting me during the day. That’s stopped within the last week. He didn’t text me a lot when he was messing with Harley because he was too busy texting and sexting with her. So I’m left wondering if he’s texting her again, or if he’s found a new soul mate. Maybe Danielle. I know he deleted all their conversations off his phone. I’d like to believe he did it because I mentioned to him that she sure texts him a lot so he was trying to appease me. Past behavior would suggest he’s saving his ass.

I swear if he’s fucking around on me again I will leave him. I’ll take the kids and move away. I will take everything and what I don’t take I will destroy. True fucking story.

Present Day Sam Says: I think the title says it all.

Maybe he was already messing around with Harley. Maybe he had never stopped. Maybe he was anxiety ridden because Blockhead told him about my FB page. Regardless, this is what I got stuck with. He moves me thousands of miles away from my friends, disrupts my entire life and that of my children, and then I get to stress over what he’s doing and how he’s feeling.

I guess it goes to show that he could never be happy. This was his dream job and yet within weeks he was miserable once again. At least it proves to me that it was never about me. I couldn’t make him happy because nothing makes him happy. It wasn’t me; it was him. He’s a miserable person. And the joke’s on Whore-ley (thank you to whoever coined that termed!) because she’s going to find out sooner or later that she doesn’t make him as happy as she thinks she does. Plus, she’s a whore. She probably won’t care in the end.

Track Season Is Going To Kill Me!

I think I’ve mentioned that Rock Star decided to participate in track this season. Before she began she told me that they practice every day and also on Saturday from 10:30-12:30.

No problem. I don’t usually stay any longer than 9:50 at Target on Saturdays because I don’t want to have to clock out for a lunch. I can easily get home in time to get her up to the school by 10:30.

Last week she tells me track practice actually begins at 10. She got the time wrong. Okay. No big deal. I’ll just plan on leaving no later than 9:30. Unless I plan on making her breakfast in which case I should probably leave by 8 or 8:30.

First track meet comes up. “Mom, I’ve got to be up at the school by 7:30.” Well shit! Now I’m going to have to leave work by 7, which means no extra hours and no break once again.

Then last night as I’m picking her up from the basketball game that went into double overtime which meant I didn’t pick her up until almost 10:30 she tells me she needs to be up at the school by 7:15. Um… that’s not going to happen. I simply cannot do it. I can’t leave until 7. She ended up calling her aunt and she came and got her and took her to the school this morning.

She goes on to tell me that next week she has another track meet and she will need to be up at the school by 6:30! Again, that’s not going to happen on my end. I’m already scheduled to work and I can’t leave until 7. I don’t know what she’s going to do. I suggested spending the night with her teammate.

I don’t live in the Sahara Desert. I’m not sure why these track meets are starting so early. It’s actually quite cold here right now and that’s not out of the ordinary for this time of year. It’s not like they’re hoping to get all the running out of the way before the sun comes up and threatens to dehydrate all the athletes.

This is the month she is supposed to get her license. It cannot come soon enough!

Having Information Will Only Hurt You & Other Bullshit They Try To Sell

October 2014

Although I have been drifting peacefully off to sleep imagining intercepting all their communications, and her naked pictures, so I would know exactly what all was said and promised… I have come to the conclusion that that probably would have not been best. I’ve been honest that I really had my head in the sand. There were signs. The two biggest being 1. He had his phone password protected and 2. The whore blocked me the day after he returned from the wedding. I considered spying. I really wanted to spy; I just wasn’t sure how to go about it. But looking back what would I have done? I was able to take a stand because I had had enough of the uncertainty over the course of the summer. If I intercepted their messages I would have known and I would have been forced into action earlier. I truly don’t know if I could have spent the summer silently stalking them, patiently compiling evidence against them I could use later. If I could hold it together it would have been fun. I’m not sure I could have held it together, though. Knowing all summer long and not being able to do anything about it? I think it would have killed me. I’m pretty sure I could have converted it into an extremely one sided divorce settlement under the threat of showing the kids all their text messages. And I could have blackmailed Harley into listening to me as I told her how I was going to make their life together a living Hell. Hang up on me one more time, bitch, and I’ll send your naked pictures to everyone you know. Plus, I just would have known. I’d know everything instead of bits and pieces. That would be sweet.

I know there are those who push the philosophy that if the answer to the question will hurt instead of heal you shouldn’t ask it and the cheating spouse shouldn’t answer. I say fuck that. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again (although I may have read it and stolen it). When your spouse has an affair and you’re trying to pick up the pieces and rebuild it’s like you’re looking at a puzzle. You, as the betrayed spouse, are only looking at parts of the puzzle. Your spouse and the OW know what the entire puzzle looks like. When he refuses to answer the questions he’s refusing to let you see the entire puzzle. I think those that push the “don’t ask/answer hurtful questions” are thinking of themselves. I don’t think they have a right to decide for another what they should know or not know. It’s all about protecting themselves and not having to deal with the fallout of their fuckup. It’s them saying they know the answer is going to hurt and there will probably be fallout and you’re just not worth having to trudge through all of that again. It’s them saying they don’t want to have to do anything that’s difficult. They want to focus on what you did wrong to make them cheat; they want to focus on correcting that so they don’t have to look at their behavior. And they want to focus on the future where they never again have to discuss their affair.

I get to decide for myself what is too much and I’d rather know everything so I’m not blindsided by his whore or some family member.

Present Day Sam Says: Sam doesn’t give a lot of advice because Sam feels like everyone needs to do what is right for themselves and she doesn’t know what she’s doing anyway. However, Sam will make an exception right here. 1. If your spouse has his/her phone glued to his/her side and it’s password protected he/she is having an affair! You can pretty much bet on it. 2. Don’t ever let them get away with insisting that telling you the truth will only hurt you. If you don’t want the information, fine. But if you do you have every right to every bitter, nasty detail. It’s the least you deserve. Keeping the truth from you is for their benefit, not yours. Do. Not. Let. Your. Spouse. Get. Away. With. This. Utter. Bullshit. You wanna know if he/she is truly remorseful? Does he/she answer your questions honestly or does he/she tell you that this would only cause you pain and you need to focus on the future and creating a better relationship? If it’s the latter they’re not one bit sorry. They are looking out for themselves. Don’t fool yourself. They don’t want to listen to you bitch. They don’t want to do the hard work. They want it to all go back to the way it was before they were discovered, back in the days when they could play you like a fool. If you want that information then insist upon it. Oh, sure, they’ll probably still lie but you can let them know you won’t be dropping it anytime soon and if you find out the facts on your own there will be hell to pay.