Holy Crap!

Gather round, readers! I’ve got a juicy one for you today.

What to tell first? Should we talk about expert witnesses and whether or not I should retain one?  My attorney has one hell of an expert witness that she would like to retain. He actually costs more than she does, but he’s able to get up on the stand and say that alcoholism and PTSD don’t necessarily prevent a person from working.

That, along with the fact that finally someone is listening when I point out that he didn’t have PTSD for twenty years until he had to pay more support than he wanted to, brightened my spirits somewhat when I discovered that tidbit.

There is also the possibility of a continuance seeing as how Asshat has retained an expert witness, hence why I need to retain one. His attorney will be on maternity leave shortly so if we don’t finalize this sucker in May as planned it will probably not be resolved until August. Hooray! I had to laugh though when his lawyer told mine that she didn’t think CF would object to the continuance as long as we didn’t file another show-cause hearing because of his non-payment. That’s right, folks. I have received $0.00 since our court date back in February.

That’s not nearly juicy enough, is it? Okay, how about if I share with you that somehow CF is getting an order to allow him to withdraw enough to pay his arrears? That’s pretty fucking fantastic, isn’t it? We’ll see how soon he pays it. I don’t believe anything from him. He’ll probably take the amount out and blow it on Spring Break on his “step-children” and his whore. Kudos to my attorney though for making sure it’s written that he’s taking that money from his share and that we won’t be divvying up the money after he’s done paying me.

How about this? When his attorney contacted him to discuss settlement he let her know he had just accepted a job. Wow-za! Was he making the paltry $30,000 he estimated he would make from here on out? Oh no! He accepted a job offer for $100,000. Less than half of what he was making but  definitely better than $30,000. Bonus points (not really): He made sure to text Rock Star to let her know that he got a job and that he was going to pay what he owed. Yeah, not really, Cousinfucker. You’re paying your modified support.

Now that is definitely something. I’m not sure I would classify it as great news because he’s a disordered nitwit and having a court order doesn’t mean shit to him. He might pay. He might not. He might pay on time. He might pay whenever it suits him. On the plus side, though: If he doesn’t pay me a dime until our next court appearance he is going to look very bad. Or at least he should.

No, I think my favorite part of everything I’ve been treated to these past few days is finding out that he has replaced me as his beneficiary on his 401k. He has Harley listed. And not just as Harley Assface-Buttwipe, whoring mistress, but as Harley Cousinfucker’s Last Name, spouse. Can you believe that shit? The man is delusional. You are not married to your cousin, you shit eating chimp! She is not your wife. I am. Unfortunately. I wrote my attorney back and asked her how in the hell he could be listing her as his spouse when he’s still married to me? I’m pretty sure that shit is illegal. All of it- replacing me as beneficiary when we’re still married, and lying about the whore’s relationship to him. And that’s not even touching the fact that if he died tomorrow my kids and I would be left with absolutely nothing while that gold digging whore was awarded everything. At the very least I’d have to fight her through the courts. It’s always fun with Cousinfucker!

12 thoughts on “Holy Crap!

  1. That’s amazing news!

    And HAHAHAAAA at the idiocy of CousinFucker giving HarleyWhore a wife-alias when getting divorced from you, his actual wife, is part of the action. (Or maybe he did that to appease her but, since that person obviously doesn’t exist since he can’t marry her yet, it would be easy to get it for yourself if he died in the interim.)


    1. I’m not getting too happy yet. I still haven’t seen the money and who knows when he’ll actually pay it? Plus, my attorney pointed out the real trick will be him maintaining sobriety.


      1. Yes I understand your “serenity now” mode😉 I’m just damn happy to see the dents on the armor star to show that all’s not well over there. (I also believe that once there’s a breakthrough the whole house of cards can quickly come down).


  2. Make sure that it is in the final decree that he has to keep the children on his insurance as beneficiaries until they are at least 18. You won’t get lucky enough for him to die, so it’s a minor thing. Also, when Andrew listed me as his beneficiary, they required proof of marriage, so he’ll have to cough that up before they actually give her anything. Also, as soon as he starts working, get on the phone and start modifying that support to show the new figures. In Indiana Title IV-D child support enforcement will do this in conjunction with any previous support orders (and for free!). Is he going to have to pay you back for your legal counsel because I sure as hell would make sure that’s in the final order as well.


  3. Oh Sam … I’m so happy there is something good to report! No advice on the expert witness stuff, but any hope of any sort of financial relief for you is progress. I have to ask – was CF this dumb when you were together? Or did he just depend on you – sensible, reasonable, intelligent you – to do all his thinking for him?


    1. Janelle, according to him he has a genius level IQ. I don’t think I ever noticed the lying and the delusional thinking until Harley entered the picture. More than likely it was because I took care of everything.

      Liked by 1 person

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