Always a Victim, Never the Perpetrator

December 2014

It looks like Christmas will be spent with my family and we’ll leave on the 27th to go down to his home state and then turn around and head back home on the 28th. I offered to stay through the 30th but he doesn’t want to. I find that strange since he’s always going on about how he doesn’t think his mom has much time left. You’d think he would want to spend more time with her. <shrug> Not my family, not my problem. I hope he’s bought Christmas gifts for them. And if his sister and her family show up I’m leaving. I can handle his mom and stepdad. I cannot deal with everyone. I especially cannot deal with her.

It’s strange to realize this will be the first time I’ve been there since April 2012. Almost 3 years. That’s a long time. It’s also the first time I will have been there since his affair- almost 2 years since he started his affair and a year and a half since he confessed to his mom and everyone else in his family undoubtedly learned the truth.

I know he’s said before no one has ever mentioned it and no one will. It’s still unsettling, wondering what everyone is thinking, wondering if they’re blaming me or thinking I’m an idiot for staying, wondering if they’re all wishing he would have divorced me and ended up with Harley. I suppose I will do my best to ignore those thoughts and try to be pleasant. It’s about 24 hours. I can do this.

Added later:  And a Christmas miracle has been granted! His sister will be in Florida when we get there.  Hooray!

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