Two Takes On Anniversaries After Infidelity

January 2015

This is my current mindset (taken from the Internet):

It doesn’t work for everyone though – my husband’s grandmother sent a text today to wish us a Happy Anniversary. I responded politely saying that we don’t celebrate it anymore because “broken vows = broken marriage = no anniversary” She wrote back and said that it’s a celebration of us finding each other. Can’t agree with that because that would be in November then…which is when we met.

In my opinion, anniversaries are a celebration of the day that you stood before God and made a promise to be with one another (and only one another) for as long as you both shall live. Now, that promise was broken by him…so that day is basically a lie and is dissolved. All the meaning of that day has been taken away from me.

This is where I’d like to be:

Now after 5 years since D day, our anniversary is a day to celebrate what we’ve regained. The years before matter very much. Our marriage is a patchwork of many events, emotions, laughter, and tears. I believe that nothing in our life should be wasted – so even the bad times can turn into something useful.

Getting over his affair was the biggest struggle of my life. Now that we have recovered getting over it was one of the biggest triumphs in my life. Anniversaries now actually mean more to me (and to him) than they did before the affair. The first one after the affair was sheer hell. I still remember the details of it, but I don’t feel bitter and angry about it. It just was what it was. We’re here now and I’m very happy about that.

Maybe one day…

Present Day Sam Says: I really thought that year 21 would be different, that I could celebrate the anniversary. I never got the chance. Seems strange to preface that sentence with sadly, or unfortunately. Is it? I tend to think that a person who could do what Cousinfucker did to me never loved me at all, and all of our anniversaries were a sham. Thank God in hindsight he never made a huge deal out of them. Although I do have to wonder in some of my “pain shopping” moments how he and Harley are now going to celebrate. I’m sure it will be something gaudy and showy. They have to justify stepping on everyone’s necks to get their happiness.

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2 thoughts on “Two Takes On Anniversaries After Infidelity

  1. Unlike yours, my husband hasn’t sailed off into the sunset, with the two wuv of his life. He said, and reiterated that he never meant to leave me. (Being an asshole must be quite entertaining, huh?)

    Yet, anniversary brings out a lump in my throat. Our 11th anniversary, he was soliciting her pictures. I cannot forget it. I am just not able to let go. Last year, I escaped. This year, I am already ready to refuse anything that looks like a celebration.

    Your CF and his whore sound despicable.

    Like

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