Going to the Courthouse… One Day

Alright, online friends. I have a mini update for you.

After CF’s antics with the support check I emailed my lawyer with my snark about not realizing he could set his own support order. I’m thinking that maybe she didn’t realize I was being snarky because when she wrote back she had this to say:

Zack is not allowed to “set his own support amount.” The court order stands. I have attached it for your convenience. He is very clearly (and I suggest knowingly- given the amount of his check) violating the court order… I will file a show-cause once we get past July 1st.

Well, good on her. Finally some action taken against the pompous asshole. Of course, it’s going to cost me. I’m hoping it won’t cost me nearly as much though because this time around we don’t have to prove why he should still pay even though he’s not working. Looks like I may be making yet another trip back to my former state.

She goes on to tell me that his lawyer should be returning from maternity leave and she will send her my settlement offer then. This is my favorite part. She adds:

I just think your husband is such a jackass, given his refusal to comply with these orders, that we are not likely to settle.

#1- My attorney called him a jackass. I love it!

#2- Of course he’s not going to settle! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell these people forever. When she first broached the topic I told her he wouldn’t settle. I told her what he was willing to pay and what I wanted him to pay were way too far apart for us to ever come to an agreement.  Do I know my loving husband of 20 years, or what? Oh wait! He’s now my husband of 22 years! Yippee!

Speaking of husbands, I should be divorced from mine in… wait for it… November! My divorce will be granted a little more than a month before our 23rd wedding anniversary.

Someone asked me how I felt about that. I told her I felt great. Now let’s hope the date doesn’t get moved again because if I’m still married to that jackass in 2018 I will cry.

Some days I would really like to send him a text:

Hey asshole! Give me my damn divorce. Don’t you want to marry your whore? You’ve been engaged for almost 2 years now! Isn’t she worth four grand a month and half of everything? I’ve got an idea! Every time you start to get frustrated about the amount of money it’s going to take to get rid of me just go find your whore, bury yourself balls deep into her and then when you’re fucking the shit out of her nasty community crotch tell yourself, “Oh yeah! This is sooooooo worth it! Take it, whore; take it!”

Or perhaps I should send a similar one to her:

Hey whore! Doesn’t your married lover want to divorce me and marry you? Maybe you should be a little worried he’s not more motivated. Why don’t you get down on your knees, suck his dick, and convince him to give me everything I want so that you two can get married and ride off blissfully into the sunset together? Thanks! You’re swell. And by swell I mean a lying, cheating, manipulative, frequent flier jailbird, gold digging, white trash whore of a cunt.

What can I say? I try to be helpful. I’m giving them a blueprint to happily ever after.

I know; I know. They are not motivated by divorce because the two fuckwits are living a fine life without him being divorced. They live together. Currently they are a two income household with him basically giving me and the kids whatever he decides he can spare. They basically live like a married couple already. He’s got four new kids that he plays daddy to. He buys spirit wear to support his new daughter. He goes to show and tell with his new son. God only knows what else he’s busy doing. Because he’s so HAPPY! He just has that pesky wife issue. BUT as long as he’s not divorced he doesn’t have to worry about splitting whatever remains of his assets. AND according to my attorney, as long as we’re not divorced I can’t garnish his wages so that’s a huge plus for him.

Focus on the future, Sam! That’s what he always wanted. So I’m focusing on November. Possibly I’m focusing on this new show-cause hearing that probably won’t take place until September or October. I suppose I could cross my fingers that when she goes in front of the judge to request a trial date he’ll be so pissed that the jackass is back at it again he gives her a quick court date. That would be nice.

Yeah, November can’t get here soon enough.

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