More Fun As Zach’s Wife

Two looks back at life as it used to be. As hard as it’s been since he just decided he had no obligation to any of us it’s so much better than how it used to be. Financially it’s more difficult, of course, but emotionally it is so much easier. I don’t have to put up with his bullshit anymore. No more catering to him. No more wondering what else I can do to try to make him happy.

March 2015

Just breathe. Don’t panic.  I opened a benefits envelope only a minute ago.  It was for medical leave/salary continuation.  They haven’t been able to reach the provider and are therefore denying the claim until we provide the documentation needed.  Excellent!  I wanted to just cry.  Cry, scream, panic, cry that the sky is falling. Instead, I’m going to take a deep breath and wait for Zack to get back from Pennsylvania. I’ll tell him to handle it.  It’s his medical history. Then I’m going to bury my head in the sand and believe that everything will be ok. Hey, if they dock him a week of pay we’ve got bonus check money, right?  We’ll piss it all away on medical bills and making up for lost salary if necessary.

I have found that I don’t bend like I used to.  I don’t go with the flow like I used to.  I guess after 20 years of being the calm one, the one who fixed everything, I’ve got nothing left and everything sends me into worst case scenario mode. I’m trying to be better. Maybe it’s an age thing.

March 2015

So, yesterday I had a fairly good day.  I went to a gymnastics meet with my daughter and 2 of her teammates from HS and 2 other moms and a dad.  That’s a lot of ands. That was nice but what really sealed the deal for me was on the way home we were looking for a restaurant to eat dinner.  We pulled up restaurants in the city we were looking in and lo and behold, #### popped up.  I was so excited! We got to introduce all of our East Coast friends to #### and they all liked it.  Plus, I found out there is a ### in ####, which is where we are going for the meet next weekend.

CF, on the other hand, was not having a good day.  He was depressed again.  He did say he wanted me to get the pool.  So, I’m going to.  No use in depriving myself just to make a point. He says it will make him happy.

I have a hair appointment today.  I hope this guy does a decent job.  He was the one that was supposed to style Rock Star’s hair for Homecoming and B ended up taking over. I’m crossing my fingers that he’s just not good at up dos.

2 thoughts on “More Fun As Zach’s Wife

  1. Have I written this before? A study was done about people who win the lottery. For a while they are euphoric but eventually go back to their pre-win mood. Depressed people become depressed. Happy people happy. Unless he had a brain transplant he is going to default right back to his old self.
    Years ago I had a difficult client. No, make that a horrible client. I HAD to deal with her which ruined my day any time she showed up or called. On the way home one day I realized she “owned” me. Nope, I was not gonna let that continue. This is what became my philosophy about people like her. I am going to have good days and bad days but she is going to be a miserable piece of shit 24 hours a day, every day, for the rest of her life. You are welcome to use this about CF.

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  2. “Financially it’s more difficult, of course, but emotionally it is so much easier. I don’t have to put up with his bullshit anymore. No more catering to him. No more wondering what else I can do to try to make him happy.”

    I could’ve easily written these exact words. It’s been 9 months. No one misses him. No one yearns for him. We most certainly need money. I don’t feel guilty. His attorney tried to paint me as a gold digger because he found my old blog and read a similar paragraph. He was the one who painted himself into that corner (position). We tried to give him love and he only gave food, shelter, and clothing back. What did he expect after 20 years.


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