Burying Your Head In the Sand & Other Bits & Pieces

March 2015

Another brief update from me. I ended up getting a pool loan for $20,000 and then he’s cashing in stock for the rest. Tomorrow we fly out to our former state for the state championships.  I’m looking forward to that.  My son won a pie because he could recite pi up to 61 digits.  My daughter broke up with her cute little boyfriend.  And Zack is still depressed.

I think he’s drinking once again.  I have told him that he just can’t do that anymore.  He can’t control it and then he ends up spiraling out of control.  He woke me up around 6 in the morning, crying, the other day, because he was having a bad day.  And I’m sure it was brought on by the alcohol.

I have yet to write my happy, grateful, moving forward post.  I’m getting there.  I spent most of last week plus the weekend cleaning the house and doing laundry.  Monday was spent finishing up.  Yesterday I was logging these entries into my spreadsheet.  I’m only up to the 1st entry in May.  Lots more to go.

I went to the after prom meeting last night.  I am now in charge of the subs.  Sub sandwiches, that is.  Maybe this will lead to more activity in the future.

Spring Break is next week.  My in-laws are supposedly coming the week after that.  Why on earth they’re coming when Zack is working and the kids are in school is beyond me.  But they are. I have no idea what we’ll end up doing. Actually, I do know why they’re coming then.  That’s when his home state’s spring break is.

So, that’s my life in a nutshell.  I’m trying to be more positive but it’s difficult when your husband is sliding down the abyss.  Trying to focus on the good.  Trying to be grateful.  But, that’s a post for another day. Or perhaps even later on today. 🙂

April 2015

Had dinner at the house with Blockhead last night.  I hung back for the most part so they could talk.  It went ok.  He hugged me hello and goodbye and gave me his number to contact him if CF got bad again.  When CF gets bad again.  It worked out ok and I hope it helped CF.

CF had mentioned Blockhead would love to take over as sales manager down here in Whoreville.  I’m pretty sure that would be my nightmare.  Maybe his wife has mellowed out but I’m still pretty soured on our last get together and have no desire to hang out with her on a regular basis.  I’m sure they would be getting together regularly, but maybe seeing each other at work all day would be enough for them.  God help me if I have to put on a happy face all the fucking time because now that CF has decided to socialize it’s with Blockhead and Blockhead’s wife. I will fucking kill myself before I do that.

He’s getting cluster headaches again and now he’s pissed because his boss wants him to come in today.  He was planning on staying home because he had already given himself 2 shots of Imitrex.

So, that’s where I am.  I want to write a letter to his mom (one that I won’t send, of course), detailing their affair since it seems there is a lot she doesn’t know.  I just want to outline it all. And, of course, there is still my looking ahead and being grateful post I’m supposed to write.  I’m not sure that’s ever going to get done.  I kinda feel like once I write it I should stop writing about him and Harley and my anger at the in-laws and all that, but I don’t know if that will ever completely go away.  I think it’s a whole other ball game when the in-laws are involved.

April 2015

Random facts.  #1- I did text CF the other night when he was with Blockhead.  Simply said I’m not in any hurry; you don’t have to come home any time soon.  I’m just wondering how long you’ll be out.  #2- My MIL created her FB account and friended Harley on December 10, 2013- my first wedding anniversary after finding out my husband had been fucking around with that whore all summer. #3- She (Harley) is once again not listed on The Saint’s list of friends. #4- I’m not sure if I mentioned this one or not but she has unblocked Rock Star so if I log on as her I can see any and everything Harley posts to my in-laws.  And she posts a lot to them.

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