No Forgiveness Necessary

April 2015

OK, let’s try to get this sucker done.  I’m hearing so much about forgiveness and realizing that things can change in an instant.  Life is too short. Hating people is toxic to you. Something about holding a grudge or seeking revenge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Blah, blah, blah.

As I’ve said before my grudges are more like: I wouldn’t piss on that person if he/she were on fire.  I don’t think about it on a daily basis.  I don’t plot ways to get revenge or to hurt them or irritate them.  I just quietly go about my life without them in it and choose to pretend they no longer exist. For the most part.  I mean, even with Harley I don’t spend time trying to come up with ways to humiliate her or hurt her in some way. I just know that if her car was on fire with her in it I’d pull up a chair and roast marshmallows while she burned to death.  Not pleasant, and not something to be proud of, but it is what it is.

So, this person I really respect was talking about this.  Her birth mother just died and she was talking about how glad she had found her and had had her in her life.  She wrote, and I quote, “Are you at odds with someone you love?  My heartfelt advice:  Knock it off!  Has it been way too long since you’ve seen someone you love?  Get it on the calendar.  Soon.”

This got me thinking because, as I said, I really respect this person.  I think sometimes this is easier said than done. I think sometimes you have to look out for YOU and if you know this other person (or other people) aren’t good for you then you need to stay away.  Now, I don’t know how things will end up with my in-laws.  I know that when they’re around I love them and I have a good time.  I know my mother-in-law is in the hospital again and her COPD will kill her one day.  I’ve been telling Zack she’ll be fine and she’ll outlive everyone, but after talking to them when they came out a few weeks ago it may not be much longer.  I’m not talking about a year or two.  I’m thinking more like 5-10 years, but certainly not the 20 or so years I figured she had.  So this gets me wondering if maybe I should just knock it off.  They are who they are.  She didn’t know about the naked pictures, although I’m not sure that makes much of a difference. She should have known that something serious enough to make Zack think I was going to leave him went on between the two of them.

I’m not going to lie.  It’s difficult knowing they still talk to her, knowing Harley checks up on her.  I find it beyond creepy that she is still in my life. I find it unsettling knowing that I can be texting my mother-in-law at the same time the whore is texting her. I just find it weird that she isn’t banished from our lives completely; she still has an in, so to speak. I don’t want that bitch to know anything about me, my kids, or even my husband. And that’s impossible when everyone is still FB friends with her. Honestly, I’m not even sure how much they tell other family members so who knows how much gets back to her. I DON’T want her knowing anything about me or my family.  It’s none of her business and she lost that privilege when she started sending my husband naked pictures and offering to let him fuck her up the ass.

Now, realistically, I know she doesn’t come around. I probably shouldn’t say that because I really wasn’t aware the bitch whore even contacted my MIL so who knows?  If she asked her if she needed anything and Tammy Faye said yes it very could end up with Harley running to Tammy Faye’s town to show her devotion to her wannabe future MIL. But, let’s just pretend that realistically she doesn’t come around.  She’s like a fly that keeps buzzing by your head, annoying you but unable to do any damage. She probably won’t show up for holiday dinners or baby showers or weddings.  But then again, and I know this is the crazy talking, maybe she knows from Jezebel or someone else that I won’t be at events so she doesn’t bother coming.  If she knew I was planning on being there perhaps she would show up.

Seriously- how can it not a bug a person that her husband’s mistress is buddy buddy with his mother, his stepfather, his aunt, his cousin, and his sister?!?!  And those are just the people closest to him and/or that he sees regularly when he’s there. That’s not taking into account all of the other relatives that have no clue what the two of them were up to.  I mean, really?  One of the things that I always read about is no contact.  It is imperative that all contact stops between the two cheaters.  OK, he is no longer in contact with her.  What about everyone else in his family?  Does no contact still count when his whore can have an inside view of our family?  She fucking prayed for him when he went into the hospital.  YOU ARE NOT A FRIEND OF THE FAMILY!  Not a friend of MY family! DON’T PRAY FOR HIM, BITCH!  YOUR PRAYERS ARE WORTHLESS TO ME! I just sit amazed, with my mouth wide open while I shake my head.  How can any of them justify staying in contact with her? Oh that’s right.  Because she’s FAMILY! I can’t possibly be the only person who finds it difficult to pretend the other woman doesn’t exist even when she’s gushing over everyone in my husband’s family. Yes, let’s just act like she’s no longer around.  I’ll do my thing and she can do hers, and when we end up running into each other with my kids around and I lose my mind and start screaming about what a worthless whore she is… well, won’t that just be a story to share? Or maybe the plan is for me to pretend like she doesn’t exist and my in-laws keep us separated from here on out. I just delude myself into thinking she’s gone and no longer a part of my life while the bitch just continues to compile information about me and my family. There is still so much to think about when it comes to this.

Present Day Sam Says: We all know how this ends. They didn’t end their relationship with the whore because they were all preparing to welcome her back with open arms when he finally dumped me. I do have to wonder what they’re going to do when this bad romance ends with their beloved Harley cheating on their even more beloved Zack?  Tough call, tough call!

Folks, if you’re going to give reconciliation a chance you make this a deal breaker! Your cheater has to have no contact with the AP. Their family needs to have no contact with the AP. If they do, then your cheater needs to stay the hell away from all of those who refuse to cut the snake’s head off. It’s just not possible to heal or move forward when that snake is still nearby. That person always has a front row seat to your life. Put a stop to it. Immediately. Or get ready for another D-Day.

2 thoughts on “No Forgiveness Necessary

  1. So true! I often wonder what my life would be like if I had just walked away the first time. The lies, the confusion, the abuse, and losing myself so much in the process. No one is worth all of that agony. For better or worse, yes but not for better, worse, adultery, and abuse. No. They have abnormal issues. We just wanted normal.


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