Nothing much to say, I suppose. I could make stuff up. I got my hair done today. We’re replacing the air conditioning unit and getting a new humidifier. Hooray for that! Now maybe I won’t shock myself next winter!
Yesterday marked the 2 year anti-versry of Zack “confessing” to texting various women. Actually, it marks the 2 year anti-versary of him being forced to admit he had been texting Harley.
It’s strange how our lives coincide. My wedding anniversary is in December. Her wedding anniversary is in December. My birthday is the same day of the month as her wedding anniversary. My birthday is at the end of one month. Her birthday is the end of the following month. I met Zack at the beginning of May; their affair began right around the same time that our relationship started. He asked me to marry him on May 7th. He told his nephew he was going to marry her on May 9th. He half-heartedly confessed his affair on May 11th.
It takes a lot to stay focused during Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and all summer, basically, because that’s when it all began. April through August I have to try to disregard any notice of the significance. Hell, the day after our daughter’s birthday is the day the bitch basically said: I’m fucking your husband! And then I can relax until October, which is when I discovered him telling his nephew he was going to marry his whore. Then I have about another month before our anniversary comes up and I deal with all sorts of triggers with that. I’m hoping that this year all is good.
I do want to get to that point where we celebrate our anniversary as a victory. A celebration of all the years of our marriage, not just the blissfully happy ones. I want to be happy. I want to be content. I see some of these women on blogs who are so angry years later and I don’t want to be that. If the affair is still causing you significant pain and unhappiness 3, 4, 5 years later (in some cases even more), then maybe it’s time to move on. For my part I don’t read the infidelity blogs much anymore. I deliberately pass right over them most days. It helps, I’m sure, that so many of my favorites don’t write much anymore. That’s the rub. They write to heal and once they’re healed there is no need to write…
I feel like I have mostly let go of it. Today I even gave thought to wishing him a happy anniversary on FB this year. I don’t know if that will happen or not but I consider it progress.
Obviously, I am in a situation where the OW won’t go away and die but I try not to think about her too much. I think about her affair with my husband even less. I am trying to keep the crazy hidden and look on the positive side. It doesn’t always work but I am trying and that should count for something.
I guess I’m done for today. Or for now.
Present Day Sam Says: I feel compelled to point out that when he originally confessed to texting with various women he really was texting various women. He was a male whore. A serial sexter!
I find it sad how much I wanted to believe the lies I was telling myself. It’s going to get better. We’re going to get through this. I need to trust him. I’m evolving. I’m thinking of it less and less. I’m making progress.
You know, marriage shouldn’t be that hard. You shouldn’t be dealing with all that crap. If you are, your marriage is probably already over. Call it! Time of death- May 2015.