Welcome to the Summer Solstice! Longest day of the year. I took the girls to the mall today and dropped them off to let them shop. I went to see Spy with a friend and her husband and then we picked the girls back up and my friend and I lounged on the patio and in the kiddie pool, drinking the rest of the wine we had opened up last night…
In other news I remember reading that it generally takes 18-24 months to fully recover from an affair. I have come to believe that’s pretty much spot on. I also think that’s IF you recover. The last few weeks I have been in a much better place. I really have no desire to read the infidelity blogs I used to follow. I don’t have much of a desire to see if Harley has posted a new picture or if she and my in-laws are conversing. I mean, it’s not totally gone but it’s not an overwhelming need either. I say this despite the fact I just checked up on her a day or so ago. Who knows? I may never stop checking up on her. But she keeps her page private so I can’t really see anything. She did post a picture of a vet with PTSD who has a sign asking for advance notice of fireworks going off near the 4th of July. Maybe she’s just very civic minded and it has absolutely nothing to do with Zack. Maybe she knows I still stalk her and she does it to get a rise out of me. Or hell, maybe they are still fucking around. I can’t control it though so I don’t dwell on it. I can’t imagine that he would be willing to spend $53,000 on a pool only to have to put the house up for sale when we divorce.
I think I have been doing a great job of not dwelling on dates or what was going on at this time 2 years ago. Sure, 2 years ago I posed for a picture with Zack and the kids and posted a Happy Father’s Day message only days after being told he didn’t know if he loved me anymore and while he was declaring his love for his whore. But, this is 2015, not 2013. As Elsa would sing, “Let it go!” And so I am. You will not defeat me, you whore!
I don’t even think much about Jezebel and all the crappy things she has done. I try not to think about the fact that my in-laws gush and fawn over the whore. I’m simply trying my best to be Zen and accept that which I cannot change….
OK, I’ve got to get up in the morning so I’d better go.
Present Day Sam Says: Joke’s on me! While I’m finally turning the corner, accepting what was done, trying hard to move on and “focus on the future” he was hot and heavy with a whore. Turns out he WAS willing to throw money into a giant pit in our backyard. The entire time that pool was being built he was messing around with Harley, sending her money even and buying her and her kid iPhones and then taking on the cell phone bill.
And again I’m so busy being open minded and Zen that my brain should have tumbled out of my head.
As if that wasn’t sad enough I was having a really good time at this point. I was back in XX state and having a wonderful time seeing my friends again. It felt so good to visit our favorite restaurants, to be part of something, to be busy and active and vibrant once again. I’m feeling better and he’s plotting to leave me for a whore.