He slept with his phone yesterday. Said it was because the dogs kept knocking it down and he didn’t want to miss his mom’s call. Then this morning I noticed the cord running to the chair where he always sits. I thought it was in the chair with him but he’s actually putting it in his pocket. He’s remote although he says the drive took a lot out of him and his boss was asking him a million questions yesterday. I know he’s been talking to Blockhead because he told me this morning that they may go to their reunion. I am either going to put my phone in his car on record or I’m buying a voice activated recorder to see if he’s talking to anyone on his way to work. I know that won’t rule out everyone cheering him on to leave me but it might possibly eliminate my suspicions that he’s having another affair. I wish I didn’t think like this but my gut is screaming at me that something is wrong. He’s acting like he did back then. And hell, his drive is only 10 minutes so maybe he wouldn’t even bother with calling and talking on such a short drive.
You wanna know the crazy part? There are times I blame myself. If I hadn’t used a public FB page as my own personal blog he wouldn’t be like this. His other sister said he was so excited about this move, that it was a fresh start. I’m guessing that Blockhead stumbled across the page in December. And everything has been downhill since. So I take that on as my own cross to bear. I should have made everything private or friends only. I could still have used it as my own personal blog but no one would have seen. I could have made her pictures public and anything about her public and everything else private. Despite the fact that he cheated and lied I’m the one feeling guilty and like if I had just done things differently then everything would be ok. Sometimes I feel like it even extends to his family as well. Not having a relationship with Jezebel causes him stress. If I would just forget about all the things she’s done and how she helped to stab me in the back then everything would be ok. And I know that’s faulty thinking. He’s got to bear some responsibility in this.
At this point my mindset is this: He is not going to uproot his entire family and move us across the country so that he can leave me. We will work through this because divorce is not an option. Things are finally looking up in Whoreville and I really don’t need this shit. Maybe once my mom and everyone leaves on Thursday we’ll have a conversation about why he’s been acting so weird.
Present Day Sam Says: Yes, honey, he was willing to uproot his entire family and move them across the country so that he could leave you. He was willing to put a brand new inground pool in your backyard to throw you off his scent. He was willing to lie and cheat. He’s an evil, rotten bastard and you would do well to remember that.