Two Days Before D-Day

August 2015

It’s now 5:41 and I have yet to hear from my dear husband today.  I decided to wait it out and see if he would text me first.  I guess not.  I guess it completely slips his fucking mind that him being in his home state, a mere one hour away from HER might cause ME just a wee bit of anxiety.  Along with his staunch refusal to take either of the kids.  I think I’m going to take a pill tonight.  I just can’t function.  I’m on autopilot and thinking about crashing my car again.  Am I being totally ridiculous with wanting some contact?  I was looking at old texts from him, sent just a year ago and they are so damn different than what I get now.  Maybe it’s all the newness wearing off.  Maybe he was just missing me seeing as how we were apart.  But I miss it.  I miss what he turned into for that short amount of time.  And I’m getting pissed because he has done squat to keep in touch.  I keep telling myself that he wouldn’t cash in pretty much all of his stock on this swimming pool only to turn around and leave me.  I keep telling myself that I don’t know that Blockhead is telling him to divorce me.  I just don’t freaking know anything anymore.  He’s making me crazy and at least one of us needs to stay sane for these kids!

Present Day Sam Says:  He was probably too busy setting up his joint checking account with Harley to get back to me. Oh, and an hour away from her? No, she was there at the funeral with him. It’s date night, y’all! Complete with his mommy as chaperone and introducing her to everyone in his family!

Writing this right now makes me realize that everyone in his damn family knew that our marriage was over and that I was being replaced before I ever had a clue. Talk about humiliating.

 

2 thoughts on “Two Days Before D-Day

  1. Reading these in chronological order it’s like watching a suspense film, one can sense the crescendo of emotion/fear/realization that something is terribly wrong and the Boogie Man is going to be there when you open the door and all hell’s gonna break loose. 😭
    Oh Sam, no words, no wordsXO
    You knew, you felt it, even as you still had (chose) hope.
    Nothing’s mightier than the gut feeling.

    Like

    1. Yes, it’s painful to read. I didn’t want to believe that he could honestly move all of us 2000 miles across the country, disrupt our lives like that, buy a new house, fill it with new furniture, put an insanely expensive pool in the backyard and then turn around and cheat. Surely he wouldn’t do such a stupid thing!

      Like

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