Today is the last day I will spend as a married woman. After tomorrow I will wear the title, “Divorced”. I haven’t really allowed myself to think about that. I’m so used to saying, “The STBX” or “I’m getting a divorce.” I wonder if I’ll feel any different once I’m actually divorced, once I’m really and truly the ex-wife.
I’m hoping that I will feel a huge sense of relief. And, of course, I’m hoping that I prevail in court and will be in a very good mood.
I’ve been working on that. I’m trying to prepare myself in case CF gets away with everything. I don’t want him to see me stunned or crying or having a major meltdown. My mother jokingly asked me if she should bring cash with her on this trip to bail me out of jail. You just never know.
Currently I’m feeling pretty nervous. The butterflies are heavy in my stomach. This is it. I don’t feel completely prepared. I feel about 80% prepared. I feel like there are things we are forgetting. I worry about what his attorney is going to ask me.
And… this morning I discovered I have a bulge in my tire so my mom ended up having to take it in and get it fixed before we left. Trip delayed.
I also found out we can have guests in the courtroom. While I’m thrilled my mom can be there that means the whore will undoubtedly be in there as well. I’m not sure nauseous adequately describes my feelings.