This one is signed, sealed, and delivered (so to speak) so I’m okay talking about this agreement.
I wrote a little bit about the property settlement. Thank God we came to an agreement or the trial would have lasted two days, my attorney tells me.
So here goes…. after switching lawyers because my first lawyer told me it would be a wash with what I took from our bank account and what he spent on the whore… it turns out it was pretty much a wash.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad I was with this attorney throughout all this bullshit; my previous attorney would have been an absolute disaster. But she was clearly outraged at the idea of me needing to compensate him when I spent that money on the household and he spent his money on a whore.
In the end it happened exactly that way. Originally what they were going to do is take everything he spent on the whore until I found out about him, the difference between what he should have been paying and what he actually was paying from September-December, and the 401k he cashed in and then take the total amount of what I took from our joint account plus my proceeds from the garage sale/sale of the furniture. Yes, folks, he and his attorney were that fucking petty. He still owed me about $5000. Then, they took our marital debt. Cousinfucker offered to take all of it on and then I would have to reimburse him 50%, so he wasn’t taking anything on. When that was done I ended up owing him, which they would take out of the 401k.
Let’s just say that sweet little Sam came slightly unhinged.
Basically what you’re telling me is that CF gets away with cutting us off and spending thousands on his mistress and her kids and I am punished for being the responsible one. I’m doing my best to pay on the pool that he allowed to be built while he was having an affair, feeding my kids, and taking care of everything while he blows through $30,000, cashes in stock, takes out a loan for $5000 and cashes in his 401k, perhaps illegally.
One of the reasons I switched was because my first attorney was telling me it would be a wash with everything CF spent on Harley and what I took from the joint account. You were the one that told me they were not the same. I was using that money on actual household expenses. I was buying groceries. I was buying pet food and household goods. I wasn’t handing out money to some other guy’s kids or going on shopping extravaganzas. Now I’m being told, “Nope, it’s the same.” I wish I had known that; I would have taken my kids on a Disney cruise instead of paying bills and being frugal with what money I had. Kinda like he did.
Oh yeah, that’s an actual excerpt from my email.
She realized as she was writing to me the first time that she hadn’t factored in the money I paid towards the pool so she was set to deduct that from what I owed. I also told her I wanted credit for the payments I made on one of the credit cards through October, credit for the bills I paid in June, credit for his final car payment, and credit for his car insurance that I paid until June. I also pointed out that I had asked her if I could have that garage sale and sell furniture; she had told me I could and that as long as I spent the money on moving expenses I wouldn’t owe him, or I could deduct that from the total. I asked for the moving expenses to be deducted and I actually got the proceeds completely taken out of the computation. Hooray for me!
I pointed out once again that there was no way he was actually going to pay off all of that credit card debt but I agreed to take on one of the smaller credit cards.
After it was all written up I will be receiving 40% of the 401k as of August, plus or minus any gains or losses. I think it kinda sucks that he cheats and I end up with 40% of the 401k, but as my lawyer pointed out if I took everything he would have no way to pay me his current arrears. Sure, I could have tried to take more of the 401k but I couldn’t touch it for another 15 or more years. I’ve got kids who need things NOW.
Technically, I will be receiving more than 50% of the 401k. My share is calculated before his original withdrawal to pay his support arrears, and it’s also calculated before he took out his $5000 loan. So, knowing it will allow him to pay me my arrears once again I was okay with the agreement we reached. It’s not the best deal but my lawyer told me she thought that was probably how the judge would rule anyway so why spend a couple thousand dollars on a trial if the judge wouldn’t give me anymore anyway?
The best part? I no longer have to save receipts! I’m going to use my last TWO YEARS worth of receipts for a damn bonfire in the fire pit I bought myself for Father’s Day this year.