When a Parent Loses Their Way

October 2015

My girl is in love.  So sweet.  And her father has no idea.  He’s never met the kid.  He has no idea how cute they are together or the depth of her feelings for him.  He didn’t see her at Homecoming.  He didn’t get to hear about how much fun she had.  He doesn’t get to hang around with the two of them.

She told me this morning she had a dream where she talked to her dad and she asked him if he liked her or his whore’s kids better.  He told her he liked them better.  😦

Yesterday Picasso had an eye appointment so she was home by herself for a while.  She sent me a text:  Dad came home and made awkward eye contact with me so I’m hanging out in the garage.  She ran out to see me when I got back and told me the whole story- how she hid out in the garage first and then ended up going downstairs to the basement and locking the door so he couldn’t get to her.

I asked Picasso if his dad had tried talking to him again.  No.  How do you feel about that?  He told me he’d probably feel worse if he did try to talk to him because he would just be lying and trying to get him on his side.  He told me that his dad told him I took a lot of money out of his account that day he did talk to him.

Then to make things even better, although this happened in the reverse order, I got a call from the lawyer’s office.  We have the docket meeting scheduled for November 2nd which means we won’t have an actual hearing until probably December or January.  Terrific!  I really want him to feel the pain and if he only has a week or so before he collects his bonus check there won’t be much pain at all.  I found solace in the fact that he probably thinks all that bonus check is his to play with, not knowing he’s going to need that to live on.  I guess the question is:  Is it more painful to know upfront that you can’t do something or more painful to think you’ve got this big check waiting for you and you can create all kinds of magic with your whore and fake family and then WHOOSH it’s all taken away from you.  Follow up question, just in case we don’t get a hearing even later:  Is it even more painful still to have splurged and bought all your shiny bling and then find out you have no money to live on?  I waffle between which would bring me more justice- the two of them getting this close to having everything their little hearts desired and then yanking it away, or letting them spend, spend, spend, only to find out he’s only going to have at most $2000/month to live on.


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