Banging My Head Against a Brick Wall

I have deliberated long and hard about attempting to contact Cousinfucker in an effort to help him repair his relationship with his kids. I suppose part of it is because “everyone” says kids need both parents. Oh the damage that will reign down if they have an absentee parent! Another part I’m sure is the need to make sure I’m not standing in the way or unduly influencing the kids. I don’t want them to think I will be upset if they have a relationship with their dad. Honestly, I don’t think either of them even want one with him after all that he’s done. But, if I did reach out I think this is what I would say:

If you truly desire to be a part of your kids’ lives then MAKE AN EFFORT. When asked your son said he wouldn’t turn you away if you actually made the drive up here and asked him to go do something with you. He said that would show an actual effort on your part, not some bullshit move like sending a card or a gift through the mail. That takes no effort. He wants to see you try. He wants to know he matters.

Get in your damn car and make the 6 hour drive up here to see your kids. You could drive 6 hours each way every weekend for 6 months to see your whore. Don’t tell me you can’t manage one weekend a month for your own children.

And yes, Rock Star may turn you away but I don’t think Picasso will. He’s already said he wouldn’t. But you refuse to even put forth the effort.

Make a phone call! If they won’t pick up, leave a voice message. Tell them you love them. Tell them you miss them.

I’m sorry to say but you might have to actually lower yourself to begging. Your kids might reject you at first. Deal with it! Keep showing up. Keep trying. Let them see that this is important to you, that they are important to you. You created this mess; you need to fix it. I can’t do that for you; I can only point you in the right direction and hope you listen to the only parent that actually knows them.

Hey, here’s another great idea. Take all that super sleuthing you do to spy on me and try to figure out what I’m up to and use that to figure out what your kids are doing. Show up and surprise them. Or show up and then later tell them you were there and you are proud of them.

If all you can manage is a text? Stop with the pity parties and actually show an interest in them. Rock Star is not interested in how sad you are. As far as she’s concerned you have brought all of this on yourself, so if you’re sad and crying keep it to yourself. Tell Harley and ask her to feel sorry for you and to rub your little head and make it better. Ask your kids what they’re up to. Tell them an interesting story about your own life- not how sad you are, not how great your “new” kids are, not how wonderful the whore is. If it’s true, tell them you miss them. Try telling them you are sorry for what you’ve done. Tell them you are sorry for disrupting their lives. Ask them how you can make it right. Beg them to tell you if there’s anything you can do to repair your relationship with them. Assure them that you still love them. I would tell you to let them know you won’t put your “new” family ahead of them but that would be an outright lie. You’ve chosen them over your own kids every step of the way. So you know what, maybe you need to live with the consequences of that. Maybe you need to speak to a therapist who can help you come to terms with the fact that you have betrayed your children so grievously that you can never make it right again.

I realize this is all in vain. You don’t wish to listen to anything I have to say. I don’t even think you’re really interested in repairing your relationship with your kids; you like to use it as a prop so you can tell everyone what a victim you are. Oh, my awful, evil ex has stolen my children away from me and poisoned their minds. I’ve done nothing except love those children and throw myself at them for years now but their mother’s grip is too tight on them. Of course the real truth is, no matter how much you may actually miss them, you would never lower yourself to beg or make yourself vulnerable to them. So I guess we are at a standstill.

You can continue to play the victim that no one is victimizing in reality, and your kids can get on with their lives, knowing what a coward you are. Good talk, Cousinfucker; good talk!

5 thoughts on “Banging My Head Against a Brick Wall

  1. Let the genius figure it out for himself. I know you are thinking about your children but he will not take any advice from you.

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  2. I really hope you found a release by putting this on here and actually don’t send this to him. You’ll only be disappointed and you’ve had enough of that from him. You can’t make him different just like I can’t change my ex. We just want them to be the fathers our children deserved to have. It’s hard being the loving, caring mother and wanting them to feel that same love from their father but not being able to get that for them. It utterly sucks. I think if I were you, I might would make sure his email address was always included on any communications with school or extracurricular activities your kids are involved in (you know the mass emails that are sent that you put your information on at the beginning of the year). I know your children are older than mine so I’m not sure if those things exist in high school but I bet some of them do. I hope for them he wakes up one day, before it’s to late, and realizes that loving them and being truly interested in what’s going on in their lives should be more important to him that trying to gain their pity. They know what he did to your family, they don’t want or need anymore “justifications” from him. They just need an, “I’m sorry” and “I love you” followed by real interest in their lives and someone they can count one.
    Pipe dreams, right?!

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    1. No, I will never send it. I know he’s high on pity and doesn’t really want a resolution. I won’t put my kids up there to be rejected yet again.

      You are so correct, though, when you say what they really need is an, “I’m sorry,” and/or “I love you.” It would go so much further than all of his texts seeking out pity.

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