Senior Night

Tonight I attended Senior Night for my daughter. It was just me tonight. My mom is in Florida (She’s giving up cussing for Lent, btw; we’re not even Catholic). My niece was working. I honestly didn’t even think to ask my brother. His wife was working.

When I got there I could tell something was wrong. She was already freaking out because a lot of the cheerleaders didn’t want to decorate for the basketball players so she and three other girls were left with that task. I also found out that the person who took her shift at work tomorrow night and Saturday backed out so now she has to work on Valentine’s Day. She concluded by letting me know she hates Senior Nights anyway because she has nothing to put in her bio that they read as they’re being escorted. She can’t list anything she did at her first school so she’s left with doing track one year, football cheer one year, and basketball cheer for two years. She doesn’t have a full four years of memories with these kids. It reminds her of everything she lost and how different her life is from what it could have been, should have been.

She was also bummed out by the fact that it seemed everyone else had a lot of people cheering them on and escorting them. She had only me. She was trying hard not to cry as she talked but the tears started rolling down her cheeks. I felt so bad for her and I was enraged at CF.

He did this to her! He put himself and his whore cousin and her kids in front of his own kids. It was so damn important that we move to Virginia before she started high school because he didn’t want her to have to switch schools once she started, but once he started fucking his whore cousin he didn’t give a crap what happened to her. Twenty years I listened to him whine about the fact that he got moved around constantly and was always changing schools. Guess who remained at the same high school for four years? Yep, Cousinfucker had that as a constant and got to be a super star at his small high school. His daughter? Fuck her. She doesn’t count.

I was so pissed off I almost texted him.

Hey Cousinfucker! It’s Senior Night and your daughter is sitting here crying. You have ruined her senior year. She doesn’t give a shit about anything. She hates it here. But hey- you get to fuck your cousin so it was all worth it, right? While the other kids get to list everything they’ve done the last four years and talk about the memories they’ve made your daughter has practically nothing to list because she got moved abruptly. While the other kids have their parents/grandparents/siblings to walk with them your daughter has only me. You are a vile, worthless piece of shit.

I almost took a picture of her crying and sent that off to him as well but I wasn’t going to exploit her like that.

Instead after escorting her out, both our heads held high, I wrote this to her:

Rock Star, I love you and I’m so proud of you. I know these Senior Nights can be tough. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. But it is. I’m sorry. If I had the chance to change it for you I would. We both know, though, that that won’t happen. So I’m going to tell you this:

You are stronger than you realize. You are NOT going to let your father destroy you. You are NOT going to let him take away another thing. You get out there and soar. You show everybody what you are made of. You show them everything you can achieve- with or without a dad in your life. You are going to do amazing things and have a freaking fantastic life despite him and everything he has tried to take away from you. You show him every single day what a mistake he made in walking away. Make him regret it every single day.

In your sorrow don’t forget your blessings. You have me and I love you more than the air I breathe. I will never walk away. I will always have your back. I will always be your biggest cheerleader. I will never give up on you. You are my miracle. I am here for you and I always will be.

You have a brother who loves you and wants to be close to you. You have Nana. Crazy as she may make you some days, she loves you and is here for you. She was very disappointed she missed Senior Night this time. You have your Uncle C and your Aunt L. Your Aunt C and Uncle B both check up on you. Grandpa and M come up when they can. You’ve got great cousins. You have a wonderful boyfriend and you have many fantastic friends all over the country.

You are loved, my precious girl. You will get through this. You will emerge stronger than ever. Like steel, you were forged by fire; like one of my favorite flowers, the magnolia, you can bend and withstand the weather. Oh my sweet girl, you are amazing. Anyone who is not in your orbit is truly unfortunate. Anyone who would choose to miss out on being a part of your life is missing the greatest thing possible.

I love you, Rocky. I’ll love you forever. I’ll like you for always. As long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.

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