This Is What They Look Like, Part 2

Are you ready for more insight from our friendly swingers? God bless ‘em. I have one more post to share with you. I think it sheds a bright old light on the entitlement that goes along with most of those who want us to be more “enlightened” when it comes to affairs and having sex with other people when you are supposedly committed.

In this final post they talk about the new wife’s custody arrangement. She has 50-50 custody with each of her ex-husbands. Naturally, both children are with their fathers on the same week. They talk about how fantastic this schedule is because it allows them to be these involved, motivated, energetic parents one week and then have loud orgasms and fuck parties the next. Sounds perfect! Hey, whatever floats your boat, right? They’re both on board so who am I to judge?

I’m Spaghetti Sam and I judge. You want to fuck other people while married to each other? Fine. You want to write about the virtues of being non-monogamous? Great. You want to promote this idea that we aren’t “wired” to be faithful, or jealous, for that matter? Knock yourself out. But when you promote having less time with your kids as one of the upsides of divorce that’s where I draw the line. It also gives you a lovely inside look at how cheaters think. I’m talking about the husband who cheated, not the two of them as a couple, although I think they’re both entitled infants.

This was her take:

…the most unexpected bonus, in our experience, is that we get more “kid free” time than most married couples ever dream of…. we get every other week to spend quality time with our kids, and then quality time with each other on the alternate weeks.

His take:

It makes a big difference in our life together. I love the fact that you’re a mom, but I never would have thought to look for a woman who gets to be a mom for just a week at a time. It seems unfair that couples who make a first marriage last have to constantly struggle to carve out some time for themselves during the 20 or more childrearing years.

Holy entitlement, Batman! Her kids are in middle and high school! It’s not like she’s got toddlers throwing up on her while she’s changing poopy diapers and dealing with meltdowns. Grow the fuck up, people! Did you seriously not understand when you had kids that they were a huge time commitment?

I’m so sorry you can’t walk around the house naked, have sex parties in your backyard, and scream at the top of your lungs while you’re having sex when those pesky kids are around. It’s a wonder anyone manages to remain married if you think that’s the only thing that keeps couples together. God forbid we have shared experiences like going to church, having a meal together, watching a television show or movie together, going biking or hiking or kayaking, or any other activity that doesn’t involve taking off your clothes and having sex. Maybe being a non-custodial parent would suit your needs better. Perhaps being an aunt or uncle would be more to your liking. You can take them when you want and give them back when you want. That leaves you plenty of time for those sex parties.

P.S. She’s always a mom even when she’s not actually doing the job. She does not cease being a mom whenever her kids are not around.

This kind of thinking irks me beyond reason. I love my weekends with the mobster so it may seem like I’m the last person to be flinging stones; however, I fully believe that once he moves to where I am we won’t be running off on weekend getaways all the time. I certainly won’t be trying to offload my son every other week so that we can have sex parties in the backyard (Do you hear that, Mobster? No sex parties!).

Furthermore, part of the reason we even do weekends away is because we live over ten hours apart! It’s a hell of a lot easier to drive 4-6 hours after getting off work at 5, and then meeting in the middle, than it is to drive 10.5 hours after a full day of work. Not to mention meeting in the middle gives us more time together without either of us having to juggle schedules or take vacation time. We don’t do this so we can have a kid-free weekend; we do it so we can actually see each other occasionally!

As a parent who has my kids 100% of the time I can’t fathom just handing them over to the other parent and then actually thinking that this is a perk of being divorced. Disclaimer: I may have joked with my mom about CF telling me that if I ever left him he would take the kids and me replying, “Hell, that’s what I was counting on!” but I never would have actually done it. I certainly can’t imagine it now that they’re teens. No, this couple is all about the sex they can’t have when her kids are around. Poor entitled babies!

As the woman dating a man who currently has 100% custody of his teenage daughter I don’t understand this mindset. I think it would kill him to have to send his daughter off 50% of the time. And as much as we would love to be together right now we are putting the kids first. This means he continues to live in the armpit of Virginia, enduring sightings of his STBX who is living with her boyfriend and spreading malicious lies about him, all so that his daughter doesn’t have to move and switch schools her junior year (something my own daughter’s father didn’t offer her). I remain over ten hours away from him because I won’t make my own kids move after all they’ve been through. I have a daughter who is going to college in-state now, and a son who will be a sophomore next year and is signed up with our state’s low-income scholarship program so long as he attends an in-state public college.

These two jackasses whine because they can’t have loud sex every week.

More on his take:

I have lived in a home where we were devoted to raising the children without a break. I remember years ago looking at my best friend, who had gotten divorced when his daughter was quite young. At first I saw him as a victim, but then I began to notice how easily he could pursue different interests when opportunities presented themselves. He had regular evenings and weekends free from parental responsibility. Suddenly, I felt like a victim. I thought, “Is this my reward for making my marriage work, that I get no free time for myself?”

I am shaking my head over here. I am astounded at his sheer selfishness. No, you dipshit, being married with children doesn’t mean you never get any time to yourself. It means you don’t get as much time to go off and do whatever you want whenever you want to do it. It means you put other people and their needs, primarily your children, ahead of your own. It means that you recognize that in the beginning when your children are small and completely dependent upon you that your time won’t be your own often, but that as they grow and become independent, you get more time to yourself. If it was such a horrible thing then why did you ever worry about being a part-time dad? It seems to me that would have worked perfectly well for you.

Folks, the next time you’re tempted to ask, “How can he or she just walk away from the kids?” re-read the above quote. It all boils down to more free time! They get to do whatever they want, whenever they want, because they’re not weighed down by kids and their unending needs.

He goes on to posit this wonderful gem:

…is it crazy to suggest that young people might have more children if they NEVER considered living with the parent of their child? What if the decision to embark on life as a father or mother meant only a 50% commitment rather than a 100% commitment?

I guess that makes sense, coming from him. If he can’t commit 100% to his marriage to a single woman without fucking other people on a regular basis, what on earth would make anyone think he could commit 100% to parenting the children he brings into this world?

YES! Yes, it is crazy to suggest that parenting is only a 50% commitment! What happens if you enter this 50/50 situation and the other person decides, in the awesome words of Austin Powers, that this “isn’t his/her bag, baby”? What if the other person dies? What if they become sick or disabled? You do not go into parenting thinking you are going to get huge breaks, or that it can somehow be a 50% venture.

Not to go all “child development” on you but there is also that small issue of attachment and how they are finding it is not in the best interests of an infant to be away overnight from its primary caregiver. How are you going to do 50/50 in that situation? Hell, who cares if the baby’s needs are met? Parenting is haaaarrrrrd. We can’t expect people to do it every.single.day!

Her response is equally stupid:

Of course, I know how spoiled we are. Not all parents have this luxury. Not all parents would want it. But it reinforces for us how important it is to take time away from responsibilities to focus on each other and the relationship, especially if you want to keep your sex life fresh. After all, if you have to stifle your orgasm because you don’t want to wake up the kids, you’re soon going to stifle some of the fun as well.

As the mobster would say, “Oh my head!” Can you not focus on your relationship if your kids are around? Have you never heard of an evening out without kids? I know lots of people who have a regular date night, or who find time once or twice, or a few times a year to go away for the weekend. Why do you need that much time to “focus on your relationship”? Are you only focusing on your relationship when it’s only the two of you? Is there nothing that goes on that helps to build your relationship that is done with your clothes on?

A quick follow up question since I’m nosy… what will happen to your relationship if one of you can no longer perform? What happens if one of you gets deathly ill? Or disabled?

It looks like we’re back to the same old blame shifting excuses. We all know that if you can’t have loud, raucous sex with screaming orgasms (a great drink, btw) then your relationship is doomed and one of you will probably cheat.

This is what they look like, people. They are entitled. They are spoiled. They are all about themselves and whatever makes them happy.

One thought on “This Is What They Look Like, Part 2

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