UFC

That was the text message I received this afternoon. I’m not completely sure what it means but I have an idea.

As you all know Rock Star graduated last month. While insisting that he loves her “to the moon and back” and is “so proud” of her he also immediately cut off child support for her. As you might already be aware once a child reaches the magical age of 18 and has graduated high school they are suddenly self sufficient adults!

I no longer pay for health care insurance, car insurance, cell phone, food, clothes or any other necessity. Nope, she’s got it covered. Little fairies floated down from the sky and sprinkled fairy dust all over her, gave her a goose that laid golden eggs, and planted a money tree in her backyard. She’s now magically 100% self sufficient! Hell, she gives me an allowance now!

Anyway, Boy Genius, the smartest man you’ll ever meet, has taken it upon himself to modify child support by 50%. I knew the signs were all pointing in that direction. He has always paid half of child support first, followed by half of alimony, another half of child support, and finally, the second half of alimony.

Last month he started off with alimony and labeled it Payment #1. That was followed by what used to be half of child support, which he labeled June child support, and then alimony payment #2. I gave it until close to the end of the month before texting him and asking him if he had contacted his lawyer yet about modifying child support. I told him I realized it would go down but it wasn’t going to go down by 50%. I even reminded him of his long ago text message where he was man-splaining how support would work and how much it would decrease with each child’s graduation.

In exchange he sent me a little over $200 for Rock Star’s prorated child support.

I texted again and let him know that while I appreciated the additional $200 that was not what I was referring to and again let him know that child support would not decrease by 50%.

This is what I got back:

The decree says $xxx for both. It says there are no separate amounts for each child. Therefore $yyyy each. Check your official court documents. H. 13. “There is no order for separate amounts of child support for each child.”

Quick question. If there are no separate orders for child support wouldn’t that actually mean it’s an all or nothing thing? So he would basically be paying the full amount until Picasso graduated.

No, in his mind it means he can simply divide support in half and call it good.

So I called my attorney to let her know what was going on. I got her assistant. Her response when I relayed the story?

“Isn’t he cute? That’s not the way it works.”

Later that afternoon I was copied on the email my attorney sent to his attorney. She basically said the same thing: Your client has taken it upon himself to reduce child support by half. We both know it doesn’t work that way.

Today I received the cryptic text message.

Perhaps it was meant for someone else. Maybe Harley asked him, “Honey, would you say I look like I belong to the beautiful, sexy women of GLOW, or that I look more like a UFC contender?” And he replied, “UFC.”

Maybe he was talking to one of his many new friends about getting together and watching UFC on Pay Per View.

There are so many possibilities.

When will the Boy Genius ever learn that I never ask him a question I don’t already know the answer to, and I never tell him anything I can’t back up? I know; I know. The answer is never.

Oh well. Let the fun begin.