Cornhole For the Win!

I saw The. Most. amazing thing on television recently.

To begin my story I have to tell you I went to get my tire changed earlier in the day. The tire store was playing Mountain Men on the History Channel. I was shook, as the kids say. I had a slight trigger reaction to it but I pulled myself together. It was kind of nice to see that Eustace is still his crazy ass self, living off the grid as much as possible.

My mom and I decide to go out for lunch. She wants a chili cheese dog and I’ll take a breaded tenderloin. We go to what amounts to a college dive bar and sit at the bar. I look up and cannot believe my eyes. This was my face as I watched what was unfolding:

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Don’t get me wrong. I like cornhole. I will play. In fact the mobster and I teamed up against my friend sweet J and her boyfriend at Rock Star’s graduation party not too long ago. I’m not all that good (although we did win) but I play. I do not diss those who play.

This was amazing though! They have professional cornhole teams! This was a Professional Invitational! I was stunned.

They have logo shirts…

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They have sponsors! This one was sponsored by Johnsonville. If you didn’t already know you can’t spell sausage without U.S.A.

They had mascots! A bald eagle, Benjamin Franklin, Lady Liberty, and George Washington. Holy bratwurst, Batman!

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There were spectators in the stands and a guy with a very large beer belly baring his chest and swinging his shirt around.

They even have career stats!

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They have dual cameras so that you can watch the person throw and then see where the bag lands on the board (or in the hole). Amazing!

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They interview the winners.

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I was glad to see a woman breaking into professional cornhole. That gives me hope.

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Sadly, while I liked the fancy bean bags (I think it was supposed to be leopard print) I think they actually belonged to the two man team and not the woman’s team. They won, by the way. You go, girl!

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They run ads for the big matchup with the four mascots, labeling it the greatest corn hole match ever!

Then they actually let them play. “I bet those costumes are hot,” I tell my mom. I think it would suck the most to be the bald eagle. Who the hell wants to wear that giant head and try to play cornhole? It must be so hot in that thing.

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“And they probably can’t throw very well in them either.” I was correct. They were not very good.

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They did, however, have their own career statistics and who provided their bean bags.

Some days you are absolutely stunned by what you see on television. This was one of those days, but I had the greatest time capturing it. I am definitely a fan now.

P.S. Sorry the picture quality is bad. I was taking pictures of the TV.

One thought on “Cornhole For the Win!

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