This Has Disaster Written All Over It

I have written before about my obsession with Pistol Annies. Miranda Lambert as a solo act appears more than a few times on my Freedom song list. I love her music but more and more it appears she’s a disaster. She seems to be one of those women who gets mighty pissed off if her man does her wrong, but she doesn’t have a problem with fucking someone else over.

It seems common knowledge that Blake Shelton left his wife for her. And apparently she dumped her own boyfriend for him. They dated for six years and were married for four. Who knows what actually ended that marriage because neither one would say much about it. She talks about her broken heart being a catalyst for all her recent music, and supposedly doesn’t want to field questions about his new love. He, in return, makes it seem like she was the one who stepped out on him.

It’s very hard to say because shockingly I don’t know her. All I know is what Google offers up for me to read. These last few years it has been having a field day!

After her divorce she very quickly took up with Anderson East who, as far as I know, wasn’t engaged or married or dating anyone else when he began dating her. That lasted about two years.

Soon after that she hooked up with Evan Felker, a member of Turnpike Troubadours, the group that was opening for her on her Livin’ Like Hippies tour. Perhaps it was coincidence but they toured together and “developed a connection” a mere two months before she would break up with Anderson East.

Evan also happened to be married. According to gossip reports (and Google, thank you very much) he slapped his wife, Staci, with divorce papers a mere fifteen days after meeting Miranda for the first time. If that’s not enough the ex-wife, through Instagram, went on to accuse Miranda of harassing her by calling her repeatedly at all hours of the night. This was while she was sleeping with Staci’s husband!

Evan and Staci divorced in August of 2018 and right around that time Miranda and Evan broke up.

Fast forward to now. I don’t know about your Google feed but mine is abuzz with news of her secret wedding.

It seems to me she really likes the idea of men leaving their wives for her. This one didn’t have a wife, but only a day or so after the news broke, when everyone was trying to figure out who this Brendan McLoughlin was, it was reported that he had welcomed a son with another woman only three days after meeting Miranda. Oh boy.

Then news surfaced that he had an ex-fiancee as well! He had been dating and was engaged to a woman named Jackie for two years. She was playing soccer in Europe for a few months. Maybe that is when he met and bedded Kaihla, his baby mama. If the ex-fiancee’s mother is to be believed he was living a double life! He was begging Jackie to still marry him even though Kaihla was pregnant with his child.

How could this go wrong? It has all the hallmarks of a successful relationship. Short courtship? Check. Met and married in three months. Long distance relationship? Check. He’s a NYPD officer from Staten Island, I believe. She’s a mega famous country music star who lives in, well, I’m not sure where she lives but I know it’s not New York City. Baby with another woman? Check. That baby is brand spankin’ new! Born the first week of November. Thankfully for the new mom Miranda does not strike me as the mothering sort. I don’t think she’s going to be very invested in trying to be the new and improved mommy.

They already made the news when Miranda lost her shit at a steakhouse in Nashville and dumped salad in somebody’s lap. Every day it seems a new revelation about her “hot, new husband” comes out.

As I said, this has disaster written all over it.

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