Hello, everyone. Sorry to have left you in the lurch. It’s been a little over two weeks since my life blew up spectacularly once again. I’ve only had one really bad night so I guess I’m doing pretty okay.
Currently, I am taking action where I can. I just fired off an email to CF, letting him know I know he has money coming in so he can start sending some of it my way. I’m probably pissing in the wind with that but at least if I end up back in court I’ll have further proof that he just completely ignored his obligations.
Where is this money coming from, you may be asking? Well, I have nothing concrete. I’m basing it on the fact he was the #2 guy at the plant and therefore should have received a severance package and unemployment benefits. I’m really not expecting a favorable reaction but I’m also not going to sit around and wait six months before I try to haul his ass into court either.
My caseworker with the state was gone the week I tried to contact her. She then forwarded my email onto another caseworker who was pretty prompt although the news wasn’t great. It turns out it could take up to SIX MONTHS for the garnishment to begin. But, they’ll make note that I would like his 401k garnished once that finally happens. That also means if he is receiving unemployment it could take six months before they would finally begin garnishing that as well. Isn’t that just ducky?
So, I emailed my lawyer. Hooray! More legal bills! Of course she was out. I got her new assistant. That was last week. I still haven’t heard anything back from her. I told her I wanted to freeze his 401k once again and that I was willing to take him to court for contempt in order to get the $25,000 he still owes me in legal fees. I’d love to take the free way through the state, but I can’t wait six months. Knowing him he will drain that sucker if it’s not already gone.
I’ve also applied for another job within the bank. This is one of the few jobs where a college degree is required. I applied last week and haven’t heard anything yet. I don’t remember how much time elapsed between me applying for my current job, and hearing they wanted to interview me. I should have kept better notes.
Additionally, I applied for a job outside of the bank. I haven’t heard back from them either.
I adjusted my exemptions so hopefully my check will stretch a little bit more with this next pay period. It won’t be substantial, but I’m running on fumes so even an additional $40-$60 would be nice.
Finally, I have an appointment with my mom’s financial guy. I hate to do it but I will probably end up taking a hardship withdrawal from my 401k. Hell, I may have to take a withdrawal, period, if CF doesn’t get back to work soon. I’m hoping I can do the hardship withdrawal. But if not… regular ol’ 10% penalty withdrawal will have to do. If I take this withdrawal I can pay everything off and I’ll end up with about $900 more per month. It will be tight but it will be doable and I won’t have to work a second job. I still could choose to but it wouldn’t be necessary.
Of course, that’s assuming Rock Star gets the financial aid she needs and that she’s able to work 40-60 hours a week this summer so she has enough money to break her housing contract, buy books, buy the stuff she’ll need for nursing school, have spending money, and pay her sorority dues. Ah, the wonderful life we live thanks to her dickhead father.
I’m doing what I can. A whole hell of a lot is falling by the wayside. I feel like an utter failure as a parent. I’ve already had to cancel Picasso’s cello lessons and now it looks like pretty much everything having to do with school is going to fall on Rock Star for the time being. This is not what I wanted for my kids. Sadly, right now I am merely treading water and trying to keep from drowning.
Well that just sounds sad, doesn’t it? I’m really doing mostly okay. Probably because I’m in denial and I keep thinking he’s going to get another job sooner rather than later. The mobster has been very good about keeping my spirits afloat as well. In fact, he just paid for me to come down and celebrate T’s 18th birthday with them this past weekend. It was desperately needed. For one weekend I could forget about everything else.
Nonetheless, it is a fact that I’ve failed my kids miserably. Their father has as well but he doesn’t seem to give a shit. I, on the other hand, care a great deal about my failings. I made a huge mistake in choosing to stay at home with them. I should have been out working so that when this day came I was prepared to take care of them financially. I have to believe even working mediocre jobs would have resulted in me making more than I’m making now. And if I had never considered being a stay at home parent I wouldn’t have been satisfied working the jobs I worked because I would have been concentrating on building a career. Perhaps one day I will be financially stable without relying on CF but by then it will be too late for my kids.
Anyway, aside from the cloud of failure that covers me as a parent I really am doing okay. I will survive. CF will never defeat me and this time around I am going to be a constant thorn in his side.
I’m not waiting months and months before I have my attorney file for show cause. That cousin fucking sonofabitch can get a damn job at McDonald’s for all I care. He can be like me and work two damn jobs until he finds something that pays well. He needs to pay something towards his kids. As my mom pointed out, he admitted in court that he had headhunters calling him so he damn well can get a fucking job. She can pull up roots and move her ass across the country if the only place he can find work is Montana. Let her kids suffer some consequences because of those two dopes for once. Or better yet, she can hand her kids over to their dad and she can ride off into the sunset with her Prince Charming.
I’m going to hold him accountable for the legal fees and let him explain to the judge where the rest of his 401k went to if he no longer has any money left (my mom wholeheartedly believes he took out the money as a down payment on the house they’ve been renting). If he’s still got the money then damn straight I’m going to insist I get my legally ordered money. I don’t care if it leaves him with no 401k. He is no longer my problem.
I’m going to let the state of Indiana deal with garnishing him and following him around, taking away various privileges as he falls farther and farther behind. If he goes to jail, oh well- it’s not like he’s paying me anything right now anyway. Hopefully he’ll get some of that awesome weekend jail. He can work during the week and then report to his local detention center for a little weekend R&R until he’s caught up.
I will not stop. I am Sam; hear me roar!