Our story, for the most part was a very beautiful one, when we met there were sparks that made everyone jealous. I think the best way to describe it was that it was more of a spiritual journey than anything. We both would enter into each other’s lives to trigger growth in each other, and we provided each other just enough support to help overcome. When the lesson was time to be tested, I’d leave.
Everyone was jealous of their sparks. <barf> It wasn’t infidelity. It was a spiritual journey. She’d enter his life, trigger a little growth (in his dick) and then leave when he wouldn’t commit.
There were issues that each of us needed to work through.
By issues you needed to work through, do you mean the fact that he was a lying cheater and you were the delusional side chick?
The main woman, or I guess the better word was the long term woman, was his enabler.
This is new information! You seem to be implying that the only thing that differentiates her from any of the other women, is the fact that she has put up with his shit the longest. She has been demoted from the “main woman” to simply the “long term woman”. And, she is an enabler as well! How dare she enable him to fuck her and you and a bevy of other women? That bitch! She should toss his ass out and make him settle down with you right now! You wouldn’t enable him, would you, Lucy? You’d stand up straight, look him straight in the eye and say, “It’s me or all those other bimbos. If you’re going to be fucking anything that moves I’m outta here!” Oh. Wait a minute…
He couldn’t make up his mind and follow through with it. I sacrificed everything that I could have, to be with someone who would give me most of his time and energy, but not everything I deserved. He would spend six days out of seven with me, and one with her.
Oh Lucy, it’s not that he couldn’t make up his mind and follow through. It’s that he really likes having a pussy smorgasbord. Long term girlfriend puts up with his shit. You put up with his shit. By the sounds of it a lot of other women put up with his shit, too. This works for him, Lucy.
Not to be picky but if he’s spending six out of seven days with you, wouldn’t that make you the main chick that he’s cheating on with her? It sounds like maybe you’re enabling him…
It broke my heart what he was doing to her, because I was used and abused before. I was married before, and had been lied to and cheated on.
Then why in the hell would you do that to another person? If it truly broke your heart you would stop what you were doing. You would refuse to participate. You would remove yourself from this equation.
I would throw her hints and clues, but she’d reject me every single time.
What do I have to do to let this pathetic woman know I’m fucking her boyfriend? Why will she not take a hint?
He’d brush me off as his stalker, but I was going to do my best. I was determined to both help her find her self worth, and help him find his true voice. I sacrificed my own like a martyr and only focused on what I had to give me the strength to pull through.
As the mobster would say, “Oh my head!” Lucy, when the man you are fighting for tells people you are a stalker that is a huge red flag that he is not a good person; he is not relationship material. Run, you dumb bitch!
Would Lucy ever really take my advice? Anyone’s advice? No. She’s going to play couples therapist. She’s going to help the woman he’s cheating on with her to find her self-worth. Something tells me her self-worth is tied up in leaving the man Lucy is fighting for so that Lucy can have him all to herself. I don’t know what she thinks she’s going to do for him, unless by “finding his true voice” she means, “help him realize he loves me, me, only me!”
You are not a martyr, Lucy. You are a shameless side chick, doing your best to break this dysfunctional couple up so that you can live happily ever after with the cheater. Whatever you’ve sacrificed, you’ve chosen to sacrifice.
When we were together, he’d talk to other women besides us. He’d give them an hour conversation here, a meet up there, and some pretty pictures to look at. He’d kiss them, and in the very beginning, or the first year and a half, he’d have sex with them. He liked the attention and couldn’t say no.
Just to be clear, this charming Romeo that you are fighting for is not only cheating on his girlfriend with you, but also “cheats” on you with other women? He kisses them and flirts with them and sends them pictures? And this is the guy you think you’re destined to be with? He sounds amazing!
I was just happy to have someone who was so similar to me, to share little bits of my life with. Though he’d make promises to me in the long term, I’d brush everything off, and wonder when I’d truly get fed up with the games. I had suspicions that there was truth to my intuitions, but I always struggled every time I left because I always wanted hard proof.
You’re a lying cheater who fucks everything that moves, too? You two seem to be a perfect match.
Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps his girlfriend had all those same suspicions and all those same hopes as you did?
I believe in monogamy, I believe in dedication, and a love that people are willing to fight for, so that’s what I showed him.
How can you say you believe in monogamy with a straight face when this entire time you’ve been fucking around with someone else’s partner?
He struggled with depression, and addiction to vices. Instead of taking care of himself he would turn to his vices in order to feel better.
Bravo, Lucy. I can understand why you are pick me dancing so damn hard.
Yes, yes! He’s a liar and a cheater, but wait- that’s not all! He’s an addict, too! For the low, low price of your dignity and self-worth this amazing man can be yours. Not all yours, but yours. Must be willing to dance real pretty and as long as it takes to prove your loyalty (and stupidity).
You’ve got the sacred trifecta, Lucy- liar, cheater, addict. Nothing can derail this blessed union.