Here’s What’s New

  • Taxes
  • Just enough money to keep the courts off his ass
  • 401k still floundering
  • Still waiting on the state even though I don’t think it’s going to help
  • No new job

Ah yes, taxes. I actually ended up getting a small refund from the federal government. Sadly, that was entirely eaten up by the more than $2200 I had to pay to the glorious state of Indiana. Like, seriously! Who the fuck wants to live here? You want me to pay $2200 to live in Hawaii? Okay, I can understand that. But Indiana?

This is the same state I had to pay $500 to my first year here because of the spousal support I collected in Virginia! Yep, that’s right. I earned all of about $5000, if that, in the state of Indiana between October 31st and December 31st. Paid maximum taxes on that piddly amount. And they turned around and demanded I pay taxes for spousal support I received while living as a resident of Virginia. At that point in time I had never received a dime in spousal support while living in Indiana. I was also a proud recipient of Medicaid during this time!

Fast forward to this year’s tax season. I knew I was going to end up paying again. I will always pay. I net $624 every two weeks but I pay taxes every tax season.

Last year I was able to pay the state in one lump sum and arranged for payments with the IRS. I had until August, I think, to pay the entire amount before being penalized.

I figured I would pay in small installments until I was able to access my 401k. I was also at the point I was just going to transfer the whole thing over despite any losses before they assessed the penalties. You do what you’ve gotta do, right?

Oh, no, that’s not how Indiana works! They immediately assess a 10% penalty. Then they charge you anywhere from 5-10% on the remaining balance until it’s paid off. So, if I owe $2200 they’re going to charge me $220 right off the top. Then if my balance is $2000 after I pay $200 (because remember, I’m poor and don’t have hundreds to pay towards taxes) each month while I wait to transfer my 401k over I’m charged another $200! And $180 the next month. And $160 the next. Assuming, of course, that’s what Indiana lets me pay. I was told they set the payments so who knows? I could have been totally screwed.

Then, once I finally transfer the 401k over, losing over $10,000 in the process, I’m AGAIN given a fucking 10% penalty to pay the damn remaining balance.

I don’t know what kind of free programs I’m eligible for but I swear I’m going to hunt them all down and use every fucking one of them! I’m getting my goddamn $2200 worth from this fucking state.

Thankfully I did not have to do any of that and the issue has been resolved, although I still need to come up with $2200.

Speaking of my 401k, my financial guy got a little excited because the price had gone up $3/share. Then it fell back down again. Awesome!

How did I marry such a fucking dumbass? Why was I such a fucking dumbass? I should have looked at the portfolio. I should have realized he was an utter moron who had sunk 47% of his retirement into the goddamn company stock. I could have transferred it then and been sitting on $87-88,000, instead of $75,000. Once again, I have to do all the fucking work.

I do finally have an account set up so if it ever goes back up I can just call and have it transferred. Hell, who am I kidding? At some point I’m sure I’m going to have to bite the bullet, take a huge loss, and transfer it so that I can live.

As for the state garnishing him… I haven’t heard anything from them. I’m supposed to receive an affidavit once Virginia responds to them, detailing all the money he has sent me. In an ironic twist I do have a log of that very thing. Dates, check numbers, transfer dates for Zelle and Venmo. I’ll be ready.

I’m also told that once everything is in place with the state, which should be no later than the end of July (!) once (if) he gets a job they can automatically attach the garnishment; I don’t have to do this all over again.

Of course, if he chooses to never work again it does me no good. That $25,000 he owes me? Good-bye! Arrears? See ya later! Finally getting child support modified at a higher amount for Picasso? Don’t make me laugh!

I had a friend tell me the other day that I could always let it go and just not pursue the $25,000. Sure, I could. But why? That’s not just $25,000 for me. It’s money for my kids. It’s a way to pay off my car and my credit cards. It’s a way to pay for Rock Star’s college when he’s not paying what he should be. It’s a way for me to potentially buy a fucking house of my own! That’s something I don’t have and I will never have living on what I live on now. Nobody in their right mind is going to give me a mortgage when I have less than $200/month left after paying my bills; and even if they would, how in the hell would I ever pay that, much less the utilities, food, gas for my car, and so forth?

Additionally, it’s not like I’m rolling in money. See above. My 401k has taken a serious hit. I’m living on approximately $900 a month after bills. Oh wait! I adjusted my exemptions so I’m living on about $1100 a month. The fact that I’m able to actually feed my son during this time because I’m no longer paying maximum taxes means I’m going to get fucked up the ass at tax time next year. It’s a vicious cycle.

As for CF, I have no idea if he’s working or not. He doesn’t tell me anything. Why would he? He doesn’t feel like I deserve any answers. I get what I get and I don’t throw a fit.

He has sent his self modified child support twice now- March and April. In a surprise twist he sent $500, labeled as ex-spousal support, this month.

Like I said in the beginning, he’s sending just enough to keep his ass out of jail and to look good to a judge.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful. I told him he needed to send something and he has been. It’s fine for the present but I’m already thinking ahead to next semester’s bill. And Christmas. And birthdays.

It kills me that I can’t help them. I suppose August is when I’ll move my money over, take the hit, and then pull from it to pay for her education.

I realize the solution would seem to be finding a new job. Easier said than done, however. It seems I’m suited to be hired for extremely low paying jobs. $11 an hour or less? Oh, they are lining up to hire me! Anything that might actually pay a living wage? Yeah, I’m not really qualified. The high school dropout is qualified; but I’m not. The college student who is still in school is qualified; but I’m not. Pretty much everyone else is qualified but I’m not.

I finally interviewed for the job at the bank. It’s a job I’d heard about about eight-nine months into my tenure at the bank. It’s one of the few jobs that actually requires a Bachelor’s degree. Obviously, I didn’t get it. They have decided to “move ahead with other candidates.”

The other company I applied at hasn’t called. Either they’re not hiring or they decided I wasn’t qualified for an office job.

I was listening to someone a few weeks ago as he talked to someone at our table. He mentioned that he had his Master’s degree but no one would hire him because, as he put it, “My hair’s too white.”

I’m terrified that’s what will happen to me. It’s already happening. I know someone who got the exact same job I interviewed for at the bank. We were both tellers. Both had Bachelor’s. I had asked her once if it needed to be in Finance or Accounting. She said hers was in sports medicine. She started the new job one year to the day that she began at the bank as a teller. I interviewed for the job two years after I had been at the bank- one year as a teller and one year in Deposit Services. The biggest difference? Age. She’s in her twenties. I just turned 50.

Another person I knew at the bank had been working as a teller while she got her college degree. Upon graduating she somehow moved into Human Resources. Now, I have no idea how long she had been at the bank, or what her degree was in, but I do know she was offered a spot in that department once she got her degree, and it was because she got her degree. She was in her 30s.

I fear that’s what is going to happen regardless of what I try. I’ll go back and get a different degree (because apparently mine is useless and out dated), or I’ll get a Master’s, and no one will hire me. They’ll choose the bright eyed, bushy tailed 20 something because they’re new and fresh. I’m all old and used up.

I try really hard to count my blessings. It gets harder the longer CF is out of work. What I envision happening is that I will eventually have to take him back to court because he’s not paying what he should and I will have the privilege of paying those legal fees. He’ll choose that moment to ask for a modification, dating back to when he first lost his job. The judge will grant it because he granted him his modification the first time around when the jackass didn’t even bother to show up in court. So now not only am I getting less money- permanently- but also it’s retroactive. Then, because he’s already there and I’m already footing the bill, he’ll ask for a child support modification dating back to when Rock Star first graduated, seeing as how the state of Indiana is coming after him for the full amount. And he’ll get that, too.

Maybe not. Maybe the judge will not take pity upon him because he knows exactly the games he’s playing. Maybe he’ll be thinking, “I cut you a break the first time and I have come to regret that deeply.”  Who knows? You’re always rolling the dice whenever you go into court.

I wonder, too, if he’s ruined his reputation within the industry and that’s why he’s not able to find a job. I may dislike him intensely but he is good at what he does. He really is. At one point he was the Golden Boy where he worked. Maybe he really pissed them off by quitting eighteen months after he was given the plum assignment he asked for. Maybe they blacklisted him. Perhaps the corrugated industry is a lot more ruthless than I ever knew.

He has always had headhunters after him, as well, and I’m pretty sure he mentioned he had turned down other offers outside of the state while we were in court. I don’t understand why he’s not able to find a similar job. The one time he was without a job in the 20 years we were married he was working again within six weeks.

I was under the impression he was looking outside of Kentucky, but maybe not. If he isn’t that might be a good thing to know and bring to the court’s attention. It would be lovely to hear the judge remind him if he could drag his old family all around the country for twenty years then he can damn sure drag the new one around. Remaining in Kentucky is a luxury to which he is no longer entitled.

Let them suffer some consequences for the horrors they’ve visited upon others. Let Harley be in the position of having to choose between keeping her kids or living with her one true love. Let CF have to maintain a long distance relationship; I’m sure Harley will be faithful. He can fly or drive home every weekend so his whore can keep her kids. If they have to move out of their nice, new, big house and downsize so that they can also afford a cheap apartment for him during the week, oh well. God knows I’ve had to do plenty of shit I haven’t wanted to do.

Truly, despite my bitching and pouting I am trying to be grateful. I have a job, even if it’s a low paying job. At least I’m not going further into debt. I can at the very least pay my monthly bills. I have a place to sleep. I’m aware that not everyone has a parent who is willing or able to put them up. My mom even took in my kids and my dogs. OK, maybe the kids thing isn’t so incredible (Yeah, I’ll take you but those kids, my grandkids, have got to go!) but the dogs certainly are. My kids are relatively healthy (Rock Star might really have a hernia and I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to get her wisdom teeth removed at some point in the near future). My mom is healthy and alive. I have an amazing partner. He is a huge blessing even with all of the shit that has been heaped upon me by CF. And CF is actually paying something, as opposed to paying nothing, like he did the last time. How long that will last, I don’t know. But he’s paying right now which gives me a tiny amount of breathing room. I’ll feel a lot more grateful once he’s got a job and he’s paying what he should.

2 thoughts on “Here’s What’s New

    1. It is disappointing. If anyone had ever told me he would behave this way I wouldn’t have believed it. Sadly, he has either completely not paid, or paid only a fraction of what he should be paying far longer than he’s ever paid what he’s supposed to. And if we include the fact that he never modified the child support order after our daughter graduated he’s really only paid what was ordered 6 months, plus 5 months of temporary support.

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